Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

Ineedwinenow, we found the first week terribly raw and sad, we just moped and cried every day, but we felt incrementally better in the weeks that followed. Our dog was old and lived a wonderful life so I focussed on that, as sadly they don’t live nearly long enough.

We have a new pup now which has helped enormously, although we miss our old dog still. We managed only 7 weeks between dogs, as the house felt completely sad and empty.

Sorry, I’ve realised I haven’t told you anything about her,

Daisy was a rescue, we actually went to the rescue with the dog warden and RSPCA ( I was allowed at the rescue due to my job) she was 4 and in such a sorry state when I got her, she needed 8 lots of medication to keep her alive, she was doing ok and she needed us as much as we needed her.

Then In December just gone her eye perforated and she just seemed to go down hill from then, she needed an operation to save her eye and then just as she was improving she got diagnosed with Diabetes which could be stablised but her body was ravaged by infections from UTIs to mouth and bladder which powerful antibiotics couldn’t help, then this Tuesday at midnight she started vomiting and we just though she had a bug ( something she regularly gets due to her vast medical issues) but she deteriorated over the next few hours and she then couldn’t breathe, her body filled up with fluid and she lost the ability to drink and struggled to walk, her vet gave her three injections to help but she continued to go downhill rapidly so at 10:10pm last night we said goodbye as there was nothing else the vets could do

we all say it but to us she was the most beautiful girl in the world, we don’t have children (through choice) as we are dog people and she was our whole world!

i keep asking myself could I have done more or did I do the right thing, she looked so vacant last night when we said goodbye like the spark had gone but I just keep wishing to go back to yesterday and is their more I could have done

@DildoDaggins that's very comforting. Deep down I know ddog had a great life and everyone keeps reminding me how spoilt he was but I keep focusing on the negatives I didn't do for him...

@Ineedwinenow you must try and take comfort in the fact she's not in pain now. It was without a doubt the best thing to do for her. I think this is why I'm struggling so much. My boy wasn't poorly per se. He would have had no eyes and we knew it wouldn't be right for him. This is why I'm struggling so much I think as he could still be here now but with no eyes and scared and miserable but still alive....

Is anyone on tonight?

I'm here
Hope you are ok?
Currently snuggled up with Lola
I didn't explain about her for which I apologise 😊

I say " snuggled"
She's in bed sharing my pillow and I wouldn't have it any other way

Sending love 💕

Hey @Thatbloodyhedge thanks for replying. Lola is very snugable! Hold her tight!

@Helplessandheartbroke - the 'scared and miserable' is why you did the right thing. When we took the decision for our old boy, physically he was declining but not anything acute - but he was getting distressed because he couldn't follow me around and was deaf so didn't know where I was. Beyond a certain point it's selfish to keep them alive.

@ErrolTheDragon thank you for sharing. I thought I was at peace with it but my head is spinning. I don't want to derail this thread any more than I have because of my mental health. I want people to comment for support on their bereavement. I really appreciate your continued support. I really do. I'm try to get another gp appointment as I type.

How's everyone getting on?

Still burst into tears, I found some of daisy’s treats that she had half eaten and hid, walking into a room when she’s not there also sets me off.

I went to visiting my parents today and burst into tears as the last time I went was with Daisy and they still have some of Daisy’s stuff at their house! ( she was very loved and spoilt) my husband and parents are trying to encourage me to get a baby Daisy in a few months because the house is so empty and quiet and we are all heartbroken, I just don’t know if I have enough love left to give another girl as Daisy had all my love and all of my heart and the idea of replacing her sends me to tears

@Ineedwinenow I'm so sorry to read this. It really is agonising isn't it! I do think another dog will help you. It's not the right thing for me as I couldn't rescue and don't have time to train a pup now I have an asd 3 year old but it sounds like it would be a great distraction for you.

I also don't think I could manage this pain again. That's another thing to think of. Do you have plans to busy yourself this weekend?

Well just to add to my guilt even more I've just learnt dogs shouldn't eat onions and garlic... ddog would sometimes have a spoon of my spag bol or potato hash! Thankfully it takes a lot more to harm a large dog! Still feel stupid now though...

Don't all dogs get a bit of leftovers? My understanding on onions etc is that they can cause anaemia in dogs and cats if they're a regular part of their diet over a period of time- iirc it showed up as a problem in fussy cats which were being fed on baby food or something silly like that. It's not the sort of thing where a bit now and again might cause an acute problem.
In fact when we had first DDog one of the types of dog treat he had were liver and garlic!

The odd spoonful of meat sauce will have caused your dog nothing but pleasure.

Spag Bol is the last thing I cooked for us the day Daisy died ☹️

I don’t think I could rehome or puppy train another dog, I’ll be forever comparing the new dog to Daisy plus as you said I couldn’t deal with this pain again, I can’t function at the moment and haven’t been able to since we said goodbye on Wednesday, I miss everything about her and miss our life, some people say dogs tie you down but I never felt like that with daisy, I made sure our life was full and with Daisy and we did everything with her, she never was inconvenient 💔

@ErrolTheDragon phew! I knew I shouldn't have given his biscuits etc but he was so big I didn't see the harm. Ds often dropped bits of chocolate on the floor and I sometimes weren't quick enough! But he was never sick etc. Me torturing myself again isn't it!

@Ineedwinenow sorry to remind you! Did daisy enjoy it? Give yourself time to grieve you don't need to make a decision now. We did everything with our boy until ds was born then we had lock down with lots of cuddles and long walks. They leave such a hole don't they!

I do remember drunk once giving him a snickers out of a celebrations tub! Thankfully not a big one! I felt guilty his sad eyes watching me eat them! Thank god it didn't harm him!

Ds often dropped bits of chocolate on the floor and I sometimes weren't quick enough! But he was never sick etc. Me torturing myself again isn't it!

Yep! DDog (~12kg so under 2stones vs your boy's 7) snaffled a solid quarter of a chocolate orange on DDs birthday one year. We rang the vet, who advised that this was about half the amount they'd worry about (crappy milk chocolate of course) and to just keep an eye on him ... he was absolutely fine, no sign of an upset tummy even.

@ErrolTheDragon bet he enjoyed that! 😉

When I'd throw him a jaffa cake or digestive I knew I shouldn't but again thought at 7 stone hes alright! I wanted him to have nice things...

Is dh away again now?

Much love x

@Ineedwinenow it's Friday night bubble bath and wine time which is what I'm doing soon

@capabilityfrowns @CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau hope you're both doing OK?