Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

Well done for another day ladies. I'm much better in the evenings than the mornings. I am lucky to have a busy house and DDog2 who really has been my rock. She's really stepped into her big 'sister's' shoes this week.

An old friend came round this evening for a cup of tea and a chat which was lovely. We haven't seen each other in a long time but she said she could feel the pain in a social media post (nothing over dramatic, not my style!) and wanted to reach out. It's nice to realise how many kind and caring people I have around me when I need them the most.

Great to hear @BlackBean2023 we did all get through another day. Let's see what tomorrow brings. I've cried the least today but I know that can mean nothing. Hope you've had lots of cuddles with ddog2 and can get a good night's sleep x

@ErrolTheDragon some rescues will try to cover holidays for you, the one I foster for puts posts on our FB fostering group when help is needed.

I miss my lads badly, it hits me at odd times, usually when I'm trying to relax.

Our foster dog keeps me very busy and is so affectionate, I think it helps. Even though she's quite a handful

Love to everyone wading through grief

Really glad to hear about everyone having a really good day and love to all - V and I have a lot to give out although it’s fantastically silly so beware. Just keep in your minds that your furry friends died happy and peaceful and that’s likely how they’ll remain.

I wouldn't say a really good day. I'd say a better day. But thank you everyone here sharing and supporting. Its amazing how much strangers can give over the Internet. You've all helped me immensely and I hope others on here feel helped too. Keep sharing everyone. Hope you all have a good night's sleep. Especially @CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau! No 4am wake ups :) @rumred it's when we have time to think most. It's excruciating. We're in it together ❤

I probably will wake up at an odd time at night but last night I did and placed my whole weight on velvets tail (I’m about 48kg, she’s 3.5 and chubby at that). She gave me a slightly annoyed meow and a bit of a pat. She got hundreds of kisses and much fuss for moving into bed with me. She’s adored for putting up with my weirdness.

Haha I think we can all be a little weird at times!

Lovely to see more people joining this thread (although sad that you’re also going through this).

Today has been a better day for me, no crying! I’m sure some tears will come tomorrow.

@Helplessandheartbroke I’m not religious at all, but I’ve been looking for ‘signs’ that ddog is here, even though I’m not sure I’d really believe it! Would love to see a rainbow. Oh, and our boy was a bull breed too ❤️

@Work2live I am loving all the support on this thread but like you, sad there's so many of us grieving! I'm glad you've had a better day today. The rainbow was amazing. It was a couple of days after my cousin messaged to say sorry to hear my boy was over the rainbow Bridge and I'd never heard the poem before this so it was a lovely but strange site. I know our ddogs are with us. I was talking to my in the car for a good 10 mins this morning! Care to share what type your ddog was? My boy was an olde English bulldog. My bfg x

@Helplessandheartbroke ours was a staffy x boxer. I still talk to him when DH isn't home 😂

@Work2live bet he was gorgeous! And amazing termerment! Yes I have to do it in private too as dh frowns at me when I say goodnight to his ashes every night but sod it! I bloody love him and miss him and I will be the mad woman talking to him I'm not arsed 😉

The things that comfort an individual will vary. I’m deeply upset by my mother keeping parts of my animals in front ot my face (as in I randomly find them in drawers in a room that was supposed to be for me and I pay rent for).

Yes grief is so personal @CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau.

I thought about getting some of our boy’s ashes made into a necklace or piece of jewellery to wear. We also thought about keeping some of his ashes at home with us. But we felt like it would mean we would never truly be able to ‘let him go’, and I would be so terrified of ever losing them.

I can completely understand why some people want to keep their pets ashes though, there’s really no right or wrong. It’s whatever feels right for you. We’re making up a little memory box for our dog instead.

I completely agree and you need to take the time to do what feels most right for you and your friend given that you can’t have him by your side, which would obviously be rightest. My comments were based on very strong emotions which in turn were caused by pets I loved and in most cases actually owned being killed behind my back and then I have just come across BODY PARTS sequestered in my living quarters. If my mother needs a bit of tail to get over MY horse’s death please could it not be in a desk drawer I’m spending my entire monthly income to rent the space containing it.

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau that must be awful for you! Have you spoken to her about how you're feeling? Maybe she can put them in a memory box too?

@Work2live I've kept my boys collar and blankets, I've seen some lovely memory boxes on etsy I'm going to get one I think. I too considered the jewelry but I'm not sure I could... plus I want him all together ❤

How is everyone today?

Yes, your horse tail find is really rather grim, WTF?

I kept our dogs' collars, leads, toys, and a few other things... I think there's still an equafleece in the chest we keep the rucksacks etc in. And for some reason his 'cone of shame' is still in the garage.
The plastic bed and crate we've kept mostly because we've not 100% decided 'never again', and there's always the hope of granddogs at some point in the future.

@ErrolTheDragon that sounds lovely. My boy never had toys long enough to keep them! He would destroy them within an hour lol. I always bought him a couple for his birthday and Xmas. Unfortunately his Xmas presents ended up in the bin as dh couldn't give them away as it didn't feel right and didn't know what else to do with them.

How are you getting on? Sounds like you might be ready for another companion? I know you were worried about picking them up etc but if you got one that didn't need to be? I couldn't pick my boy up since he was a pup, at 7 stone!

Tbh I think we probably won't get another dog ourselves - planning to travel more etc.

Fair enough!

How's everyone been today? My first day with no tears!

4 months on and I'm still having days where the tears just fall. I had no idea I'd be so bloody heartbroken 💔 my poor son was crying again yesterday which set me off, it's so hard.

Hiya @Helplessandheartbroke I'm OK thanks. Feeling very thin skinned but that's OK. Having a night of TV and some gin

@rumred glad you're doing ok. Gin not rum?

@rockingbird I'm so sorry for your loss. Talk freely about anything you want to share on here were all good listeners x

I made the mistake of watching some videos of ddog earlier today, which set me off after managing not to cry at all yesterday.

Grief is a funny thing - I almost find myself feeling guilty if I have a better day, like I should still be sad. Even though I know my gorgeous boy wouldn’t want me to be sad.

I've had myself a little cry now 😢 having a glass of wine

@Work2live we must have posted at the same time! I agree. I was feeling bad not crying then just cried talking to my grandma about him. I made a photo book yesterday filled with photos of him and I ordered a photo tile today too. I'm also considering naming a star after him x