"I've had dogs all my life"

[hitrewind]

Does this ridiculous statement make anyone else want to scream?

Was walking my dog along a country path this morning and came past a guy who started heading over to introduce his dog to mine (his dog straining on the end of the leash, him leaning back to control it, walking directly towards us).

I wasn't in the mood for early-morning chats and don't ascribe to the belief that every dog HAS to meet every other one, so I said "No thanks, not this morning!" and kept walking.

He kept coming, with the classic "It's ok, he's friendly", and I responded "I said no. Not today."

He then descends into a tirade of "if you don't allow them to meet they'll be wary of one another, you're training your dog to be afraid, etc. etc. etc." I told him my dog and I are perfectly fine and to be careful about forcing his dog on other dogs and their owners because it wouldn't always go down well.

To which I get the classic "I've had dogs ALL MY LIFE, I know what I'm doing"

I'm not too bothered about the exchange beforehand – I've had it many times – but that phrase honestly just makes me want to scream.

Ownership does not = understanding. Many people own and badly train their animals for years... the fact of having had them for many years doesn't make you an expert – in fact it actually makes it worse.

Of course for many people, having had dogs for a long time means a long time to learn and develop as owners, but they never seem to be the ones who use it as an argument to support their behaviours!

Anyone else get a real bee in their bonnet about that phrase or am I just a terrible pedant?!

You were not rude at all and I hate dog owners who refuse to control their dogs.

I have a reactive dog (caused by a previous dog attack) and live in an area with lots of woodland walks. Recently I have encountered so many entitled people who refuse to recall their dogs because "they are just being friendly". Just days ago a man appeared in the distance, off lead dog running ahead. His dog see mine and starts to run towards us.

I call a clear warning: "My dog is not friendly. Please call yours back".

Man responds: "No I don't think I will."

His dog runs straight into my dog's space. My dog is on a short lead, sitting and focussing on me. My dog has a yellow "reactive dog" label. His dog jumps at my dog. My dog gives a warning growl and then air snaps. His dog continues jumping. I now have my reacting dog by the collar and harness handle physically removing him from the situation. All the while the other dog continues to jump all over him.

Man finally catches up and says "you should have that dog in a muzzle".

I reply "if you can't recall your dog you should have it on a lead."

Man replies "I can recall him if I want to. I just didn't want to."

I walk off with him yelling obscenities at my back - apparently I am a stupid cunt, who thinks she can tell men what to do and I need to learn my place.

So yes, I'm on your side totally.

I think its perfectly acceptable to say what you did but think there are two issues at play.

1. A man insisting you should see things his way and then being abusive when you deferred.
2. You know your dog best and dont subscribe to the 'all dogs are friendly' crap.

Just ignore him next time.

Why are you?

How was the OP rude? Why should she have to lie or make up an excuse rather than be honest?

If anything the other dog owner was rude. He should not he tried to force the encounter. He should have asked politely. He acted like he was entitled to her time and her and her dog's attention. Very rude behavior.

I would not have blamed OP if she had been much more direct with him and not said "thanks" which he was not owed at point at all.

😂😂

Would actually love to see this!

She is superior, because her dogs are well trained and she enforces her boundaries politely, which is more than I can say for the other dog owner, or you right now.

Too many dog owners are not doing their best. They won't read books, research the breed they own or follow training classes. They simply "have a lot of experience" in being terrible dog owners and ruining their dogs by not teaching them to behave properly.

No, I'm with you entirely on this one OP. This entire bossy and entitled exchange would never have happened if you had been a man, or the other dog walker had been a woman.
I get it all the bloody time. Every. Single. Day.

Made me feel so mad reading this!! There is definitely an element of masculinity within original post and this.?

Dog walker version of mansplaining was my first thought reading the OP.

OP and her dog don’t owe this random person their time or an explanation.

She did smile to the annoying man and was perfectly pleasant.
Why do you think a complete stranger owes you their precious time, just because you’re both out walking a dog?

What if she needed that quiet time to process some bad news? Would your recent bereavement trump her needs? I enjoy my dog walks as it gives me valuable thinking time.

Sadly, it seems that many men and some women won’t take a simple NO for an answer and think they’re entitled to ignore it.

@CaptSkippy you know exactly zero about my dogs, you fool.
As for others on here, how ‘precious’ is your time that you can’t spend a second engaged in social discourse? Perhaps it’s a cultural issue but I live in an area where people are mainly friendly and pleasant. I don’t know how some of you navigate through life. And dogs aren’t robots. I’ve seen a guide dog jump up at someone when they’ve been off duty and they’re the best trained dogs in the world.

And stop trying to draw parallels between a friendly man who possibly misjudged the situation and rapists (‘a man who wouldn’t take no for an answer). It’s insulting and indicative of how desperate some of you are to be classed as victims for attention and sympathy.

The man doesn’t sound particularly friendly.

So in true Mumsnet style, this seems to have turned into an AIBU (which it wasn't).

I don't have a concern about whether or not I was rude – I was there. I know I wasn't.

Thank you to the posters who have actually addressed the point of the thread (experience vs. competence in dog ownership), and those who have understood the difference between setting a boundary and being offensive.

And to those who have come in to attack me with single-sentence snide comments – thank you to you, too. The blind hypocrisy of being rude to me in order to tell me I was being rude to the dog walker (and then getting progressively MORE sarcastic and aggressive over multiple posts) has been... entertaining.

Women saying what they think or saying no clearly is not rude, it's assertive. This whole being polite, not stating your view or saying no clearly is the thin end of a dangerous wedge. It's possible to be very clear and simultaneously polite. OP wasn't effing and jeffing or scowling for goodness sake. She was just, quite rightly, saying not today!

You said “no thanks not this morning” when he hadn’t uttered a word to you!

surprised he didn’t think that you were assuming he wanted quick shag, as that is what you normally engage in with random male dog walkers just ambling towards you

Not rude. You dont know him. Your dog on a lead is not entertainment for his enthusiastic dog and you clearly told him you didnt want to interact.
If other people cant cope with people telling them directly after theyve already ignored all non verbal cues, then thats on them.

Eh? 😂

My goodness, this thread just keeps on giving...

I literally don’t allow my dogs near anyone else’s on a walk, don’t care who it offends.

I tend to just say oh sorry they bite and keep walking.

My dogs are well adjusted and well trained despite the lack of ‘freedom’ as some put it. I feel like replying yes, the freedom to be hassled by badly trained out of control dogs that constantly try and bite them or nip at them as they walk, the freedom to be jumped on and humped by Randy labradors and then probably barked and yapped at by the regular 50 cockerpoos that all hate them. Finished up by being grabbed and and touched by strangers who have no clue about dog body language. All of this instead of just walking in peace and enjoying each others company without being bothered. Yes, I feel sorry for them too 😳

🤣🤣
You are so last century! It's hormones love innit.

Minutes before starting this thread, you start a thread about how wonderfully happy you are this morning?!!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4562858-when-were-you-last-pleasantly-amazed-by-something

whilst this current thread would indicate… otherwise!

@ intrigeddotcom

You weren't out walking your friendly dog this morning by any chance were you......?

The other dog wasn't ambling, it was straining at the leash! That menopause comment is offensive @Intrigueddotcom