"I've had dogs all my life"

[hitrewind]

Does this ridiculous statement make anyone else want to scream?

Was walking my dog along a country path this morning and came past a guy who started heading over to introduce his dog to mine (his dog straining on the end of the leash, him leaning back to control it, walking directly towards us).

I wasn't in the mood for early-morning chats and don't ascribe to the belief that every dog HAS to meet every other one, so I said "No thanks, not this morning!" and kept walking.

He kept coming, with the classic "It's ok, he's friendly", and I responded "I said no. Not today."

He then descends into a tirade of "if you don't allow them to meet they'll be wary of one another, you're training your dog to be afraid, etc. etc. etc." I told him my dog and I are perfectly fine and to be careful about forcing his dog on other dogs and their owners because it wouldn't always go down well.

To which I get the classic "I've had dogs ALL MY LIFE, I know what I'm doing"

I'm not too bothered about the exchange beforehand – I've had it many times – but that phrase honestly just makes me want to scream.

Ownership does not = understanding. Many people own and badly train their animals for years... the fact of having had them for many years doesn't make you an expert – in fact it actually makes it worse.

Of course for many people, having had dogs for a long time means a long time to learn and develop as owners, but they never seem to be the ones who use it as an argument to support their behaviours!

Anyone else get a real bee in their bonnet about that phrase or am I just a terrible pedant?!

me, I definitely would if my polite rebuff had been ignored. When I am out with a dog, my first duty is to the dog, keeping them happy and out of trouble. If politemess won't do it then I will be as rude as it takes.

I think you sound rude as f##k to be quite honest!

The double standards for rude behavior on this thread are incredible:

• Man physically inserts himself into a woman's space, (tries to) prevent her from walking on = perfectly acceptable

• Woman just out for a walk, minding her own business = Rude/obnoxious (c*nt) for not saying "good morning" and not wanting to give some rando, who can barely control his dog, the time of day.

Miserable and rude! Loads of miserable folk like you about.. most dog walkers enjoy a chit chat.

Absolutely.
And re your original question OP, this phrase was once, inexplicably, uttered just after a ‘don’t worry he’s friendly dog’ bit my friend on the back of the leg. That was a wtf moment.

I could go into the media dominance of male chefs versus women "cooks" but lets not derail

patriarchy and misogyny are evident in everyday interactions between entitled men and the women who talk about them on MN. If more women become able to be assertive with entitled men, that's a good thing. Maybe you should ask yourself why you are so antagonistic to women OP's describing their interactions with overbearing, stupid men?

‘Internalised misogyny’ 😂
As for @godmum56 I think you are beyond hope. I genuinely feel very sorry for you.

Not to worry, we feel more sorry for you and lack of assertiveness. People must think you're an absolute doormat.

@CaptSkippy 😂

I don't think 'internalised misogyny' is something to be laughed at - I regard myself as a feminist but do catch myself sometimes thinking in an unreasonable way about e.g. a woman's ability, which are thoughts I'm ashamed of and want to notice and eliminate. It's like casual sexism - you notice it, you call it out, hopefully the person thinks about it and learns to watch for it in future.
As for the "Don't worry, he's friendly!" brigade, it drives me nuts. I have to reply, "Well mine likes a fight!". It's true. He will put a puppy in its place, ignore or say hello to a girl and fight with everything else. But it annoys me if people shout that to me when they see me putting distance between my dog and theirs.

Internalised misogyny is absolutely something which should be laughed at when it’s completely misplaced 😂

Oh good heavens!

This is awesome. Please do this.

😂

Just women supporting women

love it

So, disagreeing with another woman is being a doormat and internalised misogyny. Got it.

It would appear so!

Sometimes that support consists of tough love. In the case of asserting boundaries this is absolutely essential. Telling women off for refusing to be walked on is a sign of toxic feminity.

Is that the best you can do as a repsonse? Put words in people's mouths and pretend they said something else because you don't actually have responds to the actual criticism you faced?

hahahahaha well said @CaptSkippy

Two things....for me this is not about whether its a bloke, a woman or a bush kangaroo being a twat telling me what I should be doing with my dog.....twattism knows no sex or gender.

In my (not lifelong) experience of owning dogs myself and meeting twats with dogs they have 4 or 5 comments which mark them out as twats. they are in no particular order
He's doing it because he likes you/likes your dog (neither of us like being flattened, peed on or barked at)
He's really friendly (yeah that stiff legged stance and the hard stare demonstrate that NOT)
What did you do to make him do that? (I appeared in the distance walking quietly along with my on lead dog)
He's NEVER done that before (oh really?????)
and the catch all "your dog will never do xxx (stop being afraid/not want to play/like other dogs/people/children) if you don't do yyy (make him do it/let him get beaten up/pulled about/stroked by strangers)

again I say. When I am out with my dog, my duty is to keep my dog safe and happy. If that means telling a random twat of any gender/sex to get out of my fucking way and fuck the fuck off then I will do it without a second thought. I have zero duty to or responsibility for random twats. I am however sorry for their dogs.

Why don’t you go all out and call them a Karen. This is an example of the worst side of MN.

PS My duty to the dog is also my duty to the public. Safe happy dogs don't bite, don't run away and run in front of cars, don't scare or injure children, don't chase cats.

I love your boundaries Op, bloody inspiring! I wonder if I can use this at work as people are approaching me for inane chit chat.

If you have tried and exhausted politeness first then why not? The only difference that I can see is that if the situation isn't a risky one then you have more options at work, eg you can ignore them, embarass them and so on. When you are in a situation where safety is an issue, you need to take faster more decisive action.

I tell people my dog isn't well and quite possibly contagious, that always gets a "what's wrong" me - "E-coli, cost a fortune at the vets, 6 weeks worth of tablets so far" as I watch the look of horror wash over their faces as they scurry away as fast as they can.

My dog did have E coli once, it was treated, she doesn't have it any more and it's not passed from dog to dog, but they don't know that 😉