"I've had dogs all my life"

[hitrewind]

Does this ridiculous statement make anyone else want to scream?

Was walking my dog along a country path this morning and came past a guy who started heading over to introduce his dog to mine (his dog straining on the end of the leash, him leaning back to control it, walking directly towards us).

I wasn't in the mood for early-morning chats and don't ascribe to the belief that every dog HAS to meet every other one, so I said "No thanks, not this morning!" and kept walking.

He kept coming, with the classic "It's ok, he's friendly", and I responded "I said no. Not today."

He then descends into a tirade of "if you don't allow them to meet they'll be wary of one another, you're training your dog to be afraid, etc. etc. etc." I told him my dog and I are perfectly fine and to be careful about forcing his dog on other dogs and their owners because it wouldn't always go down well.

To which I get the classic "I've had dogs ALL MY LIFE, I know what I'm doing"

I'm not too bothered about the exchange beforehand – I've had it many times – but that phrase honestly just makes me want to scream.

Ownership does not = understanding. Many people own and badly train their animals for years... the fact of having had them for many years doesn't make you an expert – in fact it actually makes it worse.

Of course for many people, having had dogs for a long time means a long time to learn and develop as owners, but they never seem to be the ones who use it as an argument to support their behaviours!

Anyone else get a real bee in their bonnet about that phrase or am I just a terrible pedant?!

This.

I'm one of those people who, if in the mood will happily make small talk with strangers left, right and centre. Queues especially, DH and DD find it hilarious.

I'm also able to read body language and situations really well and get a gut feeling of when its perhaps not the right time.

If you're offended at OPs response when context and lead up were clearly described in addition the man's "I don't want to" attitude - what an overstepping dick - it perhaps reflects more on your needy personality.

Maybe it is a regional thing. "No thanks, not today" is a perfectly acceptable dog walker interaction round here.

😂

Dogs should only do meet and greet if there is mutual consent from both owners and all dogs.

This thread is insane 😂

OP, YANBU. Dogs should only greet with the consent of both owners. You weren't happy for your dog to greet and he should respect that.

I don't allow mine to greet on-lead unless it's a dog he already knows - it's not worth the potential risks.

This thread really is insane. I can’t shake off the image of people squirting water pistols at other dog walkers.

OP firstly you did nothing wrong and were absolutely not rude.. I agree with you 100% and sadly that's the reason that I will never own another dog..because of other dog owners irresponsible and entitled behaviour.. when my old girl had gone deaf and lost her sight despite asking people not to they allowed their dogs to bound over and spook her.. it all became very stressful.

There are some absolute batshit responses on here.. I can only imagine those are from ppl who are entitled and rude dog owners

blimey @hitrewind this threads really taken off hasn’t it 😂

I have to say the most stressful part of dog ownership is clueless entitled dog owners!

I've had dogs all my life and breed groups are so completely different in temperament it's ridiculous to say that you are an expert on dogs in general just because you've owned one particular breed all your life.

and even individuals within that breed...even individuals from the same litter...also often but not always, differences between show and working types of the same breed. All my dogs have been HPR and no two have liked/disliked/had trouble with the same things.

OMG this. I think my current old boy will be my last dog and some, not all of the reason for that will be how stressful it became walking him and his brother because I just couldn't find anywhere where I could go and be left alone...and I live in a rural area!

I would be taken aback by a “no thanks not today” response. Really unfriendly.

Yes
women must always pander to men and what they want.

he was rude for trying to force his wants on her. But you know, let’s blame the woman

I also wonder if OP were a man would he be getting such a hard time for not being friendly?

I see your wondering and I raise you this one: if I were a man, would posters actually address the topic I posted about? 😂

Is it that people are judging me based on sex, or is it that reading an entire post is simply too tiring and so they just assume everything is an AIBU?

OP: does this statement stand up as a logical argument?
Mumsnet: haha! Fool! This is not a discussion forum, this is.... <insert game show music here> CHARACTER COURTROOM! SURPRISE!

I would be taken aback by a “no thanks not today” response. Really unfriendly.

Would you have let your large strong dog pull towards another one on the path? because it was the other dog owner in this scenario who was in the wrong.

I have to walk my dog in residential streets where I can easily cross over, because there are so many owners like him.

And many posters on MN don't seem to know the difference between being assertive and being rude or confrontational. Polite assertiveness is something British people are very bad at.

I don't think you were rude. I have told that sort of entitled owner that my dog has kennel cough!

I'm with you OP. My dog is reactive as a rescue. He likes to be left alone by people and dogs. I have to say no my dog does not want to say "hello" . Don't feel guilty about it. I stand and talk at a distance. I've had know it all lecture me. Not all dogs are the same not all breeds are the same. Some dogs have not had the cute puppy experience and were abused until rehomed. Some people just don't get it.

“Not today, not tomorrow, not any god damn day” - this is how I’m picturing OP 😂

anyway OP words aside I agree with you. I have a reactive dog and I’m sick to death of “I’ve had dogs all my life” types forcing themselves onto us. They never listen, always think they know best.

Yesterday a bloke was doing just this and no amount of “My dog is dog-aggressive” was going to change his mind. With the next one I simply said “my dog has kennel cough”. That worked.

today I might try telling people I have Covid.

You were rude

None of us know what someone else's life is like. I can remember being in the middle of grief and having to walk my young dogs. As the weeks/ months went on I'd occasionally pluck up the courage to make friendly dog chat to owners. Your response would have really hurt me, it really really wasn't necessary. You could have just smiled, said a couple of pleasant words and been on your way.
The world is becoming colder

I remember the days after my DGS was diagnosed with cancer. Or when my ex walked out leaving me with three young children. I just wanted to get the dog walk done and would have hated to make small talk with a strange bloke walking his dog and might well have given him short shrift. Goes both ways.

Loving this thread.

OP my DF unfortunately is one of these people, telling me what to do with my dog because he's had so many perfect dogs.
My dog is not friendly to most other dogs, I also don't want to stop and chat to other dog owners usually, my walks are my own time, neither of us are sociable with strangers and I couldn't give two hoots whether that's the done thing or not.
So polite but aloof, that's us 😁