"I've had dogs all my life"

[hitrewind]

Does this ridiculous statement make anyone else want to scream?

Was walking my dog along a country path this morning and came past a guy who started heading over to introduce his dog to mine (his dog straining on the end of the leash, him leaning back to control it, walking directly towards us).

I wasn't in the mood for early-morning chats and don't ascribe to the belief that every dog HAS to meet every other one, so I said "No thanks, not this morning!" and kept walking.

He kept coming, with the classic "It's ok, he's friendly", and I responded "I said no. Not today."

He then descends into a tirade of "if you don't allow them to meet they'll be wary of one another, you're training your dog to be afraid, etc. etc. etc." I told him my dog and I are perfectly fine and to be careful about forcing his dog on other dogs and their owners because it wouldn't always go down well.

To which I get the classic "I've had dogs ALL MY LIFE, I know what I'm doing"

I'm not too bothered about the exchange beforehand – I've had it many times – but that phrase honestly just makes me want to scream.

Ownership does not = understanding. Many people own and badly train their animals for years... the fact of having had them for many years doesn't make you an expert – in fact it actually makes it worse.

Of course for many people, having had dogs for a long time means a long time to learn and develop as owners, but they never seem to be the ones who use it as an argument to support their behaviours!

Anyone else get a real bee in their bonnet about that phrase or am I just a terrible pedant?!

I have had dogs all my life and I know what I am doing. That is, in my case, a statement of fact. My dog would not be straining at the leash, and even if he wasn't on one he wouldn't be going up to another dog unless allowed to do so. Etc. Etc. In other words, I do know what I am doing. So does that also annoy you? If someone's behaviour is unacceptable then address that. But the specific set of words is neutral.

Oops, misspelling, fat thumbs. Or possibly menopause....

Totally agree. My dog is extremely nervous and can become aggressive when approached by other dogs I never let her off the lead and it makes me really cross when people say " oh he's really friendly ".
It's the same when I'm out on my pony and owners let their dogs run around her back legs saying "she's fine with horses". That's as well maybe but my pony doesn't appreciate strange dogs around her legs and I'm terrified she may kick our.

I don't think you were rude. However my boyfriend does this sort of - not to introduce the dogs to one another, but he can't pass another dog owner without wanting to say hello to the dog, whether he has his labrador with him or not. He just loves dogs (apart from rat on rope types). He is very careful to put the lab on a short leash around others, even though he is a ball of friendliness, because he is exuberant and large and could seem scary to someone who doesn't like dogs or a dog who is smaller.

Not at all – if you know what you're doing then you know what you're doing. And it'll show in your dog's behaviour – from your description in your post, it shows perfectly: a well-behaved dog who's appropriately managed. If you're telling me you've had dogs all your life as a topic of conversation, great. I'm interested.

It's when it's used to defend a dog's bad behaviour that it frustrates me – as I said in my OP, it's illogical, because many people have had dogs all their lives and trained them all badly / not at all.

I could have owned a car for years but it doesn't mean I know how to drive.

Experience often corresponds to competence, but it doesn't equate to it.

Rude owners rather

The responses about crap owners made me laugh. A lady once said to me when complimenting my lovely, relaxed, happy, well behaved dogs that dog’s personalities reflect their owners 😎I took that as the compliment which was intended. One of mine is a rescue who came from the worst of experiences and had no experience of how a dog was supposed to behave. I particularly proud of how she’s turned out.

Ah the people pleasing response of the doormat! She wasn't rude, she was assertive. Bet you hate women who don't kow to men and know their own mind, eh?

The older I get, the less I give a toss how rude I might come across to strangers in woods trying to foist their dog onto mine. It's like a magic power

I'll also confess a secret here: one of the unforetold perks of studying for a degree in canine behaviour is the ability to legitimately yell back "yes, and I've got a degree in it, so I think we'll be fine, thanks".

Brilliant

Other than 'good morning' and perhaps general chit chat at a distance as we pass by any thing else gets totally ignored by me.

I would never dream of telling other dog owners that I know better but the other way round has happened to me on a couple of occasions.

Long time dog ownership means nothing especially as I have seen relatives not even understand what reactive means. I try to avoid and ignore any unwanted interaction whilst walking as much as I can (my dog also appreciates being left alone).

Can I ask what dog you have and what dog he had?

I think you handled it perfectly.

I have an American Akita and honestly, I get the same regularly. My dogs day will not be better because he saw your prey sized dog darting in-front of him and wasn't allowed to eat it. Of course he is perfectly controlled and mostly unbothered but he is unbothered because they aren't introduced or in each other's faces.

@MushyPeasPrincess you really could not be more wrong. You confuse patience and tolerance for being a doormat. Not one single person who knows me in real life would recognise your description of me. I’ll leave you to your life of telling strangers to fuck off and firing water pistols at them.

@Duettino he's a 12 year old mix – never been able to identify his breed, and he was a rescue, so I don't have much documentation. Looks like he's got some German Shepherd in him, maybe some Podenco, maybe some kind of terrier. But he's big – reaches mid-thigh on me and I'm 5'4.

His dog was an Airedale.

The internalised misogyny is strong in this one. Why are YOU so desperate to justify HIS rude and entitled behaviour?

You can safely ignore Intrigued OP, they've been popping up all over this site for the last month just to have a go at all sorts of OPs. Ona my topic. It's been noticed and we just don't bite any more. Sad case.

Read my history! Seriously search my name and you will see that is not the case

When in doubt op bring it all back to misogyny and blame it on the men that's bounds to get the Mumsnet rabble onside!

I just think to say “not today thanks” to someone who is waking their dog is rude. As do others

Especially someone who on another thread criticises a poster for saying that endlessly happy dogs should t be taken to pubs

yappy dogs

You don't have to speak to anyone you don't want to. You don't have to smile and be grovelling polite just in case you hurt his feelings. You're more entitled to say "no thanks" than he is to force himself and his dog on you.

@MushyPeasPrincess

your contribution to most threads starts with internalised misogyny

I am waiting to see it on a thread about cooking substitutions

Not rude. Assertive.