Why are there so many wankers on this board?

[Ocre373]

They’re on every thread. I’ve never known a board like it. People come on asking for advice and you can guarantee within a couple of replies someone will jump on something in the OP, often something completely irrelevant to what is being asked. They’re judgemental, condescending, rude and often just plain nasty.

It’s happened to me time and time again and it’s stopped me asking for advice which is such a shame because there’s so many people on here with so much knowledge and experience.

It’s made this a horrible place to be.

Seriously, jinxpixie? Out of 27 posts there were a couple which were slightly frustrated sounding and the rest were patiently trying to explain that this was normal puppy behaviour.
I didn't comment because several others had said exactly the same as I would have, and there are puppy biting threads on here every week.

Aggressive puppy and 3yo thread is a pretty wanker thread tbh. The op did not come back.
You mean the thread where no one criticised the OP but pointed out this was normal puppy behaviour?

Yup that OP's response (or lack of) can only be as a direct result of the posts made. Not because she got bored, distracted, busy....

However this thread posted by an OP with almost no posting history and starting by calling regular posters 'wanker' has generated quite a bit of support from a sector of dog owners who clearly feel like MN is a tough place to be. Interestingly, this OP hasn't returned either. Odd considering her obviously genuine desire to improve dog welfare and mane the dog house a friendlier board....

I’m still here! I haven’t had time to reply as I’ve been working. I’m a regular poster, I’ve been here for many many years. I name change every time I start a new thread due to the issues MN has had over the years with the media lifting stories (eg. Penis beaker).

The vast majority of replies on this thread have been agreeing with my OP. I stand by my use of the word wanker because that’s how some people on here behave.

I stand by my use of the word wanker because that’s how some people on here behave.

Well done OP - you'll definitely have made a constructive and positive change for the better - thanks SO much for your kind non-wankerish contribution!

And I genuinely do hope that this thread changes the dynamic of this board. It was about time someone stuck their head over the parapet and said this isn’t right, it’s not ok to be treated like this. If no one spoke up then nothing would change and people coming here for advice would continue to be made to feel the way that I have. People need to be made aware of the effect it’s having. There must be some truth to what I’m saying, the way I’ve been made to feel must be valid or I wouldn’t have had so many posters replying with the same story.

Well done OP - you'll definitely have made a constructive and positive change for the better - thanks SO much for your kind non-wankerish contribution!

You’re welcome.

And I genuinely do hope that this thread changes the dynamic of this board. It was about time someone stuck their head over the parapet and said this isn’t right, it’s not ok to be treated like this.

What you think name calling and encouraging bullying is the way to constructively improve things?

Interesting approach

That’s your opinion. I don’t agree with it.

There must be some truth to what I’m saying, the way I’ve been made to feel must be valid or I wouldn’t have had so many posters replying with the same story.
Have you actually been on any other MN boards?
You can post any old shite and someone will agree with you.

I suggest you try step-parenting or even just parenting if you think doghouse is unkind.
It night open your eyes.

Also might educate you that name-calling rarely results in constructive change. I think that's probably a parenting and doghouse universal life lesson

That’s your opinion. I don’t agree with it.

You don't agree that name-calling and bullying are ineffective in driving constructive change? And yet you've set yourself up as the driving force against the 'wankers' of the doghouse

Yup definitely leading by example there OP. I can't imagine why this genuine and constructive effort to improve things may fail...

Just because it’s happening on other boards doesn’t make it ok.

If your eyes are so open to how unkind other boards are then I’m surprised you’ve taken such offence to me calling out the wankers on here.

I apologise if that word has offended you. It certainly wasn’t my intention to incite bullying but after yet other dressing down for daring to ask advice I retaliated.

I’ve always replied to people on here with kindness and decency but there’s only so much someone can take before they bite back.

If your eyes are so open to how unkind other boards are then I’m surprised you’ve taken such offence to me calling out the wankers on here.

My point is that there are lots of boards like this on MN because it reflects human nature. No one else responds in the way that you have. And you haven't 'called out the wankers' you've used an anonymous forum to safely namecall and bully. There's nothing noble or educational about that - it's deeply unpleasant and cowardly. If you had a problem on your original thread, the decent thing would have been to directly address or report the posters there.

No one even knows what your original gripe was about because you've namechanged. And you've broken multiple site rules by essentially starting a TAAT and inciting personal attacks. But of course the problem must be everyone else. Cos we're all wankers. Not you

Right ok, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started this thread. I was wrong to do it, I was wrong to use the word wanker, I shouldn’t have encouraged any bullying. I’m sorry if I’ve been a coward. I’m sorry for breaking multiple rules.

None of it was my intention. I just wanted people to be able to come on here and have a positive experience. I’ve obviously failed at that.

Totally agree with @Veterinari last paragraph there.
How is it kindness and decency to call people wankers?
I’m guessing the OP didn’t like being told they WBU to buy from a puppy farmer and then leave their dog for 14 hours a day.

None of it was my intention. I just wanted people to be able to come on here and have a positive experience. I’ve obviously failed at that.

I appreciate the apology OP, but I struggle to see how someone who started of encouraging a 'positive experience' by calling others wankers really expected this to go?

Honestly a lot of us have got slagged off for putting off posters from getting puppies by asking tough questions. But to be honest if the people that are upset by robust questioning are the same people that think calling us wankers encourages a positive message-board experience then it's hardly surprising there's a bit of disagreement.

I know which side I prefer to be on

But of course the problem must be everyone else.
No, not everyone else. Quite a few posters have agreed with OP that this board can be needlessly brutal.

I don't like the name-calling, and the singling out of posters that happened earlier felt unkind, but I can see where OP is coming from. As I said, I've read through a few old threads and the harsh posts can really mount up.

My point is that there are lots of boards like this on MN because it reflects human nature
And my point is that human nature isn't always very pleasant and could, sometimes, try a bit harder.
(You'll have to forgive me the homily. I work in a school and we spend a lot of time trying to persuade the students of this.)

I don’t know what else you want me to reply with? I’ve apologised. I stand by my feelings, I know what I’ve experienced on this board and to Wolfiefan, no my pup wasn’t from a puppy farmer or left for 14 hours a day thanks very much.

Nothing will change on this board. What a shame. At least I tried.

You really didn’t. You just wanted to insult others.

And my point is that human nature isn't always very pleasant and could, sometimes, try a bit harder.

Oh I agree @GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman
And I'm not someone who automatically agrees with some of the extreme responses on the doghouse. I keep dogs in a flat for example and I work. I think there are lots of case by case exceptions to the 'rules' you often read here, but I'm adult enough not to take that advice personally.

But the irony of attempting to 'encourage' kindness by name calling and inciting anonymous bullying is deeply unpleasant. And anyone that thinks that this thread is anything but an obvious effort at ego-salving as a response to a bad experience on another thread is misguided. There's clearly no good intent here. Or if there is, it's the stupidest attempt at human behaviour change I've ever witnessed.
Nothing will change on this board. What a shame. At least I tried.

Oh yes and you can kid yourself it was a genuine, well thought out and noble effort. But let's be honest. It was an unpleasant bitchy name-calling tantrum directed at posters that you weren't brave enough to engage with directly. But at least you tried eh @Ocre373 - good for you

I'm glad you said it OP, whatever your motives were, it's true and it needed saying. I don't think you should have apologised either. Some posters are really irritated at being called out clearly and have managed to turn it round into a sanctimonious telling off for an OP loads of people agreed with. However everyone still thinks what they think of those posters, in fact they probably think even less of them after that, I know I do.

Multiple rules been broken by this OP? You should have reported it then surely? Wonder why you didn't?

Oh cross post. Couldn't agree more @MrsPnut

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/3820223-Who-should-have-moved-out-of-the-way-in-this-situation

For reference... that’s the thread the OP calls getting her arse handed to her...

I know what I’ve experienced on this board and to Wolfiefan, no my pup wasn’t from a puppy farmer or left for 14 hours a day thanks very much

They may not be puppy farmers in the crates and crates of dogs sense but allowing a 10 year old dog to have a litter of puppies was appalling. It really, really was.

The kind and ethical thing to do would have been to spay the mum the second they learned she was pregnant.

Should people be personally insulting to you?
Of course not!

But quite honestly people should be allowed to state how appalling that was without being accused of being wankers.

I really hope that I never come across Veterinari in a professional capacity because based on this thread they are a definite arsehole.

Interesting. What is it specifically that I've said that's so problematic @MrsPnut and @YgritteSnow?