Why are there so many wankers on this board?

[Ocre373]

They’re on every thread. I’ve never known a board like it. People come on asking for advice and you can guarantee within a couple of replies someone will jump on something in the OP, often something completely irrelevant to what is being asked. They’re judgemental, condescending, rude and often just plain nasty.

It’s happened to me time and time again and it’s stopped me asking for advice which is such a shame because there’s so many people on here with so much knowledge and experience.

It’s made this a horrible place to be.

That thread has actually made me laugh. Many years ago I had a massively bouncy six month old puppy and I posted on here about him wanting to jump at passing dogs.
Someone ( quite possibly Valhala?) replied that the best thing to do was to teach him a good sit and wait until the other dog passed.
I did, it worked and he was a complete star. I am forever grateful.

Multiple rules been broken by this OP? You should have reported it then surely? Wonder why you didn't?

Thought about it, but frankly I think if someone behaves like a juvenile playground bully then their legacy should be left to stand

I could not agree more!

The nasty defensive posting means they are personally insulted by what was a fairly mild OP.

You mean nasty defensive posting like the OP starting a thread where she calls other posters wankers because they reasonably suggest she should have shortened her pup's lead when approaching an anxious dog ? That kind of nasty defensive posting? Or doesn't that count @MrsPnut

Whilst OP shouldn’t have resorted to bullying and name calling, she isn’t incorrect in saying that this place is a hotbed of hostility around dog ownership (and pretty much everything else). I agree that tone is lost in writing. However, there are an awful lot of militant dog owners on here who believe there is only way to own a dog. Their way and any variation of that is unacceptable.

I would never post asking for advice on MN, which is a shame because there is a wealth of knowledge on this site (not just on this board) but it is drowned out by posters attacking you. I have mentioned my cockapoo in a thread (I wasn’t the OP) and people have still decided to attack me for having a cockapoo, for getting a cross breed and obviously using a puppy farm.

For what it’s worth OP, I think most people have felt like shit dog owners at some point, although the militant posters will never declare as much on a thread. My dog was really hard to train (I’m expecting comments now about this is what you get with a cross breed). She’s got a tonne of attitude. We met her mum and her dad, quizzed the breeder about their temperaments, met the full litter, assessed our dogs temperament and visited several times to asses her temperament as she got older. She does have a lovely temperament but a hell lot of attitude too, which just wasn’t visible as a puppy. She’s really stubborn and really clever, so she works out the short cut for what you’re asking her to do very quickly. She also has a look that is basically the dog equivalent of doggy eye rolling. We know many other cockapoos and none have as much attitude as her. She’s 3 now but 12-24 months, those teen years, were hard. Had I asked for advice on this forum, I’d probably have felt worse about myself than I did anyway and it would have made her teenage years even worse. I’d have been told it was all my fault for getting a cross breed, for doing enough research. Thankfully, we go to an amazing training school and when our dog was being a shit, everyone else in class (with beautifully well behaved dogs) was telling us they’d been there too. It helped. Not that I believed them.

Now our dog is arguably one of the best at training school. Even better than those we looked up to. There is a woman at training who is in the exact same position we were - her dog is being a temperamental teenager and throwing her weight around. We’re telling this women that it does get better, that we were honestly in her shoes just last year and she isn’t doing as bad as she thinks she’s doing.

My dog isn’t perfect. She’s got a fantastic recall but occasionally she decides to give us a big dose of her attitude and to not do what she’s told. Sometimes, situations outside of your control mean you take several steps back in your training. Our dog wouldn’t jump up at people and was really calm on meeting people, we’ve trained her to do that. Since lockdown, she’s been stuck with me and my husband but she’s very social, loves to say hello to anyone who wants to say hello (she doesn’t go up if human or dog don’t want you to, again because we’ve trained her). Her lack of socialisation is building up into some antisocial behaviours (yelping excitedly start everyone and everything and some jumping creeping in) which we are already trying to address as much as we can on lockdown.

I think some of the replies the OP has received on here proves there is some merit to her original assertion.

Veterinari, they very way you have responded to me proves my point.
I don’t know what else has been posted on any other thread only what you have posted here and I don’t care.
You have been rude and aggressive towards the OP and others and I stand by my original statement that I hope I never deal with you in a professional capacity.

Well every one is different and comesd from a different place. Advice which is exceptable for one can wind another up. I guess as an op you take what you want from it and ignore the rest. SAME WITH ALL CHAT BOARDS. (SORRY ABOUT CAPS.)

@MrsPnut

I'm quite happy to be rude to people who start threads by calling names and to posters who single out and bully other posters. If you don't like that then my suggestion is to be a decent human and don't name call and bully. It's not rocket science.

I guess it all depends on where your ethics lie. As I said earlier. I'm pretty happy not to be on the side of the name-callers.

Or you can start a nasty thread calling anyone who thinks animal welfare should be paramount “wankers”

Agreed!

Happy to be called a wanker for pointing out that dogs, especially puppies should not be left on their own all fucking day.

Happy to be called a wanker for pointing out that 10 year old dogs should not be having puppies and that accidental litters are anything but. Fix your pets!

Happy to be called. Wanker for pointing out that a 10 week old puppy isn't aggressive with your 3 year old he's a baby and being a puppy ffs and the child is maybe too rough with the puppy and you don't have the first idea of what owning a puppy involves.

Happy to be called a wanker as an experienced dog/other pet owner of many years when reading posts by people who have not got a fucking clue about looking after an animal and probably shouldn't even have a bloody goldfish. Not sure some should even have children tbh.

One moron claiming she's trained her dog not to needs the toilet for 9 fucking hours " he never has an accident" no he is probably too scared to. How would she like to have to wait for someone else to be allowed go to the toilet?! That's abuse.

Then you've got the woman who won't allow her dog to poop in the garden and puts bleach down in the grass. Jesus Christ.

There are so many selfish idiots that think it's a right to have a pet, it's not, it's a privilege and not one that everyone deserves.

Basically if you're going to post on a forum where there are people that know what's right and wrong for animals, not opinions but actual right and wrongs, expect truthful replies.

I agree OP,

I just don't get the mentality of done people!

Kinda puts me off Mumsnet some days ☹️

As someone who has lurked a long while under a different name, I notice that some posters can talk as if they have more knowledge and experience than they really do.

Some are speaking from a place of only ever having had one dog in their lives which is absolutely fine in itself - lots can be learned from a single dog - but they are on here talking as if they have experience or knowledge of multiple dogs/breeds. I wish they were a bit more open about the limits of their knowledge.

On the flip side, you can get access here to vets and qualified behaviourists who take time to explain the science etc. I've noticed they tend to be less judgemental - presumably because both disciplines require skills in bringing owners along with your advice rather than alienating them.

It's good to have both points of view, but I agree that I wish it was all phrased a bit more supportively.

Thinking about it some more and reflecting on some of the posts above mine, I also think some people are just happy to judge rather than actually wanting to help the dog. Calling someone a moron is unlikely to ever change their behaviour so being rude is not in the dog's best interests at all.

Oh I think I’m that moron that trained my dog not to toilet for 9 hours. I didn’t train it. He just doesn’t need to go. Sometimes he’ll go 10hours without toileting even though the door is open and he can go out. I can’t make him pee (well actually we do have a toilet command which is useful but if he doesn’t need to go, he can’t force it)

But in your post you also demonstrated the point exactly. There are ways of explaining that puppies aren’t aggressive but do growl and nip etc without making the OP feel stupid. Just because they haven’t come across it before or just want a bit of reassurance doesn’t mean they aren’t fit to be a dog owner. Posts like yours are exactly what puts people off posting for help.

Hallelujah! I've said for years that this is the scariest section of MN. Move aside AIBU - The Doghouse is scary .

Some years ago I got a puppy and, of course, being a puppy he was hard work. And then he turned into the Adolescent from Hell. He really was. We were thrown out of the Kennel Club training (Dog doing laps of the village hall whilst all the other smug dogs were walking nicely in and out of cones and gates), he was testosterone on four paws, howling outside houses, humping anything and anyone (including dd's friends ) and constantly trying to escape our (very secure) garden. He was biting and generally being just about the worst teenager ever.

So I post on the Doghouse. What a pasting I got. Some gems were "only experienced owners should get dogs" (does that work for human babies?!) and reams of abuse. There were links to training videos of someone with a ready-trained chihuahua. Ha ha! I had a large dog who would pull you over. I got told off for allowing dog in the garden. Wtf? Apparently it is wrong to allow dogs in the garden when they aren't trained. Who knew?! And I was feeding him all wrong. Raw food only. And I was supposed to keep said raw food "in my outhouse". Let me just have a look.... oh, epic fail. I don't have an outhouse.

In the end I got a personal trainer. And poor old Dog had his bits chopped off (in spite of Doghouse people saying this was a terrible thing).

My lovely dog died last month. He was my best friend and the loveliest, friendliest dog in the world. He was always bonkers and an eternal puppy.

I agree that not all dogs are the same by any means. Of course there are clueless and possibly unkind dog owners on here. But spare a thought for those of us who get the hyperactive, nutty dog who in spite of our best efforts (and masses of training and reading) are really struggling and need a bit of support.

Oh that’s another one.
Absolute pasting for someone who didn’t get their dog spayed yet most advice is that spaying/neutering can affect hormones and behaviour so don’t jump into it.

I'm a new puppy owner and I've been on here looking for advice. I actually got some very helpful advice (including I think from @GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman) about whether to get a puppy from someone breeding their own pet. I went ahead and he's a lovely dog, healthy and happy, even the vet commented what a chilled puppy he is. What I couldn't have known is that he would have a similar attitude to @IrmaFayLear 's pup. Hyperactive with a definite cheeky glint in his eye. I dread to think how the adolescent stage will go...

The amount of people I've seen terrified out of getting a dog on this forum! It makes it seem like a lifelong grind that only a few are qualified to do, when in real life hundreds of thousands of families of all different situations successfully have pet dogs and cope with puppies just fine. The latest one is how it's such a terrible idea to get a puppy during lockdown. We've done it and it's enriched this time massively. Her socialisation isn't any different seeing she was vaccinated as normal at 8 weeks and still cannot go for walks and mix with others for another few weeks til she has her second regardless of lockdown situation. I'm carrying her out to see the local sites as I would otherwise and because of the layout of her street she's still been able to meet all the neighbourhood humans and cats.

However in the other hand I've had helpful advice from many so it's definitely not all bad

As soon as I saw this thread I knew wolfie would turn it into 'my breeder is the only breedee that's decent in all the land and doesn't do it to make money*

Which is total bullshit. Of course they make money out of it.

Wolfe, do you realise you arent actually helping anyone?

Oh an yes crossbreed owners get loads of shit depaite the fact, that all the criticism aimed them, applies equally to single breed dogs aswell.

@Peggysgettingcrazy
And others who can’t read.
I never said my breeder (actually two pups from two different people) was the only decent breeder. I have said that most breeders are only in it for the money. That’s not why really good breeders do it. They don’t have lots of litters and so don’t make a massive profit. They breed selectively and for a specific purpose.
It DOES help people if it helps them to realise that puppy farmers and commercial breeders aren’t the only option.

Then you've got the woman who won't allow her dog to poop in the garden and puts bleach down in the grass. Jesus Christ.

To be fair that post wasn't even in this topic, that particular OP did deserve the hard time how we my 9 week old puppy goes 8 hours through the night without going to the toilet because she doesn't bother to wake up so I doubt anyone terrified their adult dog in to it

@Wolfiefan I have been on threads with you. I can read. You gave incorrect advice and claimed your breeders dont make money. You did infact talk about how your breedee does it for the love of the breed. Not money.

If your breeder made zero profit, they wouldn't do it. Or maybe once.

Your facts that you post are often incorrect. You have a black and white view. What you say is right, and anything else is wrong.

That's fine, thats your opinion. I have a right to my opinion, which is you domt have a realistic view of your breederd, are often wrong and are not helpful to anyone.

Of course 'really good breeders' do it for the money or they'd give the pups away to the carefully selected homes once their picked their favourite from the litter, or charge just enough to cover costs. They don't, they charge what the pup is worth ime