Tips for a reluctant dog owner other than ‘don’t do it’?

[DisorganisedOrganiser]

Apologies for long OP. Trying not to drip feed.

So DH really wants a dog. Backstory is that I knew from when we first got together nearly 20 years ago that he wanted one. I agreed we would. We got a cat first (still have the cat who I adore) and now have two DC age 6 and 8.

I am part time, the kids are old enough and theoretically we could get one now. I have said that when DH is off then he needs to be responsible for the dog.

However, I am under no illusions. I know that it will be me doing the vast majority of the work. I don’t like dogs and I know also it will be harder then having another child.

I don’t find parenting or housekeeping (for want of a better word) easy and I know they having a dog will only make both of those things harder.

I’m not going to veto it. I knew when we met and when we married that one day I would have to get a dog. Looking back now I might have made different decisions but that is for another thread. I would never say he couldn’t get one. To me (just my opinion) it would be like one partner changing their mind on whether to have DC or how many to have. I would view that as an absolute dealbreaker and would never go back on such an arrangement. I don’t think changing your mind on that is acceptable (awful life events excepted).

So the point of my OP...

Any survival tips to get through it? How do I keep my marriage intact and my sanity? I feel he is unrealistic about the amount of work involved but at least I am realistic about how incredibly hard it is going to be.

I would want to get to the stage of liking the dog but am realistic that this may never happen. I would care for the dog, do the walks, the training etc. but am worried I would not love it.

DH and kids want a puppy. On the one hand I think that once the initial horror is done then in a couple of years at least you have a dog that has grown up with the kids and cat already there. Or is a rescue dog better but then what about behavioural problems?

I have to say I'm surprised at the number of people suggesting OP gets a retired greyhound. Sure some are cat-workable, and the cat may or may not be an issue depending on the OP's eventual timeline, but they also tend to be quite needy and a lot of them struggle with separation anxiety as in the kennels they are pair bonded and have very limited experience of being alone. Some get better in time, but others continue to be highly stressed when left alone and will often exhibit destructive behaviour even if left for a short while.

Whilst some develop recall, most have a high prey drive so you have to be mindful that you may never be able to have them off-lead unless you hire a dog walking field or find a suitably fenced area.

They're amazing characters, but games are played on their terms and they often get bored quite quickly when playing which might be frustrating for the kids who most likely imagine games of fetch etc.

We adore our two, but they are sensitive souls and I would hate the idea of them being in a home where their owner was faking liking them to save her marriage

I just want to come in here with a rather gruesome point re long haired dogs like golden retrievers and spaniels.

I had a Goldie for 14 years and I have no clue what you’re on about.

That’s great but long haired dogs are known for sometimes getting feces/urine stuck to their coats.

It is a possibility to be aware of if looking at a long haired breed.

I wonder if the po-and-wee-stuck-to-coat thing is something that is talked up by grooming salons to try and market a 'sanitary trim' to dogs that don't really need clipping. It is amazing how dog ownership has become so consumerised in the last decade or so.

I'm sure it happens to some dogs, rarely or from time to time (if there is a way of exposing you to something revolting, most dogs will manage it at some point in their lives!). But it isn't a golden retriever 'thing', just one of the risks of having an animal in your life.
At least as likely (more likely in my experience!) is your dog choosing to roll in badger or fox poo, or in dead animals. Luvverly.

I have had the poo stuck to dog thing but only if he has been eating grass and it (tmi) gets stuck. Just meant washing his backside afterwards.

It's not a specific breed thing, it's just a dog thing. Most of us have had to do something disgusting to help our dog at one time or another. Vomit or poo is just part and parcel of the dog ownership.

We once saw a dog rolling over a dead seal on the beach. It’s owner was totally oblivious.....

Fortunately my dog doesn’t get diarrhoea often so stuck on poo is a rarity but you can bet if she does get a dicky tummy some will end up in the hair, she definately needs a sanitary clip.

Also without regular clipping the wee collects and she ends up with a smelly, crusty stuck on clump of hair stuck to her vulva.

And fox poo aswell yes she likes to roll in that,

MagicalTwinky, greyhounds can vary a great deal. As I said I know quite a few people involved in greyhound rescue and over 20 people that have greyhounds. Many of them have more than 1.

Some live with cats, others would chase or even kill a cat. Quite a lot are let off lead and have good recall. A couple have separation anxiety but quite a few are left while their owners go to work.

I'm currently puppy sitting. It's made me realise that I couldn't have a dog.
It's smelly, it's not house trained and it's loud. It's also cute and gives lovely cuddles. But I couldn't do this for the long-term.
Currently trying to think of a nice and polite way to say to the person who owns the dog that I can't look after it again at my house. (I've had to mop the floor three times, and spot clean various bits of the carpets innumerable times)

I was in the same boat as you as DH wanted a dog, and I wasn't particularly keen. Circumstances meant that a girl at work's dog (only 12 weeks old, German Shepherd, from a rescue centre) was going to have to go back to the centre. I said, hang on a minute, and the next thing I know we had a dog. That was 14 years ago, and he died a few months ago aged 13-and-a-half. I can honestly say that that dog totally changed my life, and in such a great way. He was funny, cute, loving, blah, blah, blah, and gave so much to us, more than you could ever imagine or describe. I'm on my second rescue dog now as life just wasn't the same without the first one. Yes, you have to walk them, but forcing yourself to get out and about when you don't really fancy it is actually quite good for you! I've made about a thousand friends, seen areas of my own village that I didn't even know were there. I would say don't worry about it, they're nowhere near as bad as you might think. They add to your life, not take any of the good bits away. Just my opinion, but it might help you feel more optimistic.

lolol at the "smelly, crusty stuck on clump of hair stuck to her vulva". Perhaps OP should just suggest to her husband that he reads this thread and he would never want to go near a dog again.

And barf at the seal. The corpse of a fish-eating animal is probably exponentially worse than even the ripest roadkill badger.

On the things-stuck-to-or-in-anus theme, I would like to offer a chewed up balloon, a half-excreted plastic bag, and the brightly coloured poo of a dog that has scoffed play-dough. All courtesy of my bulimic spinone, now deceased.

My old dog liked to eat crayons. He would poop in Technicolor. 😂

TMI?

One of my dogs ate all the fingers off a rubber glove...i hoped her poo would come out ready wrapped...sadly not.

Op, do not u see any circumstance get a springer. They are a total nightmare and ours needed 4 runs daily to even be able to sit still.

A good compromise could be to be a foster home for a rescue. That way you get a trial run and can either say yes this is great or fuck no, I knew I would end up doing it all.

Also - it sounds like if you are adamant about getting a dog it needs to be easily looked after, low ish need of walks and happy to just sit around or play in the garden. Chihuahuas and Chinese crested are perfect. People volunteer to look after mine as they are so easy to care for, require minimal walking and just love vegging our on a warm bed. But your other half may not want a little dog as it's not manly enough ( and that could be your get out clause. Little easy dog- or on dog at all.) Mine are a fab bunch

We once saw a dog rolling over a dead seal on the beach. It’s owner was totally oblivious.....

That's something mine would do but I'd be oblivious :). If it's rotten and stinking she will roll in the fucker. Just last week I was scrubbing cow shit out of her coat 🤢🤢

Friends dog almost out it's tooth right through her finger when she was removing a dead maggots infested bird from his mouth.

needmoresleep tmi = too much information

All these shedding, muddy, smelling dogs This is why I have a whippet. Barely sheds, no doggy smell ever and hates getting dirty. Of course he’s also got selective deafness and is super fussy with food. Oh well, you can’t have everything.