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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dog bit dd last night ...

137 replies

butterfliesinmytummy · 15/01/2015 15:17

I have posted before about our 18 month old rescue dog. She is ridgeback x staffie and we've had her since she was 8 weeks old - she was a stray in a shelter. She has a very high play drive and loads of energy - I'm a sahm who likes walking a lot! We think we have done everything right - we crate trained, we use positive reinforcement, we did puppy training, we exercise her a lot, we train on a regular basis (her basic commands are super sharp) and she's a smart dog.

She has snapped at and bitten (without breaking skin) people she doesn't know in daycare before (she goes one half day a week) and we recently worked with a behaviourist for several weeks. He did several sessions with us, working on training, giving her more confidence and advised the daycare people on how to handle her, to give her a wide berth (avoiding triggers). We don't walk off the lead as it's not allowed where we live (USA) but we give people a wide berth when we are walking too (mainly because she tends to jump up).

Dd2 is 6 and adores the dog. She has been taught not to look into the dog's eyes, not to cuddle her, not to disturb her when she's sleeping, eating etc but she "forgets" and cuddles the dog, which I can tell the dog is uncomfortable with. Last night my back was turned and all of a sudden the dog growled and dd screamed. The dog didn't break her skin but it left a red mark on her cheek that I could see hours later. I am 99% sure that dd2 was hugging the dog or staring at her etc because the mantra in our house is "leave the dog alone". She is constantly "on" the dog, hugging her, chatting to her, playing with her feet, kissing her.....

I am worried that this is a warning, the dog has form for this and I have no idea what to do next, or what will happen next. Dd2 was wrong in the way she was hugging the dog and we have had discussions time and time again about being respectful and only petting the dog under certain circumstances etc. This has really shaken dd2 and I'm hoping that she has learned a lesson but I am really upset and unsure where to go from here.... I don't think I can rehome a mixed breed that bites and nearly all shelters here are kill shelters, there is a real problem with overpopulation of dogs. Help!

OP posts:
Silverjohnleggedit · 15/01/2015 16:03

I'd try to rehome, your 6 year old cannot be expected to behave impeccably at all times and the outcome if she doesn't is just too awful to contemplate.

BillyJoel · 15/01/2015 16:15

You need to rehome the dog. It sounds like your daughter tries very hard, but the dog can't rule the house and be a threat to your child. You know it has to go now, where to is not important - you have done as much as you can with it. You can't do more. Act now before you forget the horror you feel right now.

Buttholelane · 15/01/2015 16:18

It may, or may not be a popular opinion but I know what I would do and that is put to sleep. No question.

It's bitten people in daycare, now it's gone to bite your daughter.

Your daughter knows not to look the dog in the eyes, not to cuddle her.
Seriously?!
This dog should have gone long ago.

I have kids aswell, I don't allow violent behaviour obviously like hitting, kicking, shouting, taking toys away, pestering a dog who clearly wants to be alone etc but not allowed to cuddle it?!

I have no patience at all for dogs that bite kids and even less for parents who keep dogs like this.
A dog and a child should be a wonderful thing, it should be a fun companion that they play with, talk to when they are upset, grow up together etc.
I just cannot fathom parents who have a dog that clearly doesn't like kids with a young child.
It's cruel for the dog and it's cruel for the child.

magpieginglebells · 15/01/2015 16:25

It really shouldn't be a case of your daughter learning a lesson. She can't be expected to never look her dog in the eye.

cathpip · 15/01/2015 16:30

I'm with Buttholelane, sorry but the dog has issues and clearly is not trustworthy around children or adults.

ggirl · 15/01/2015 16:30

I am amazed your daughter is not allowed to look the dog in the eye..is the dog that aggressive?

TheAwfulDaughter · 15/01/2015 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
butterfliesinmytummy · 15/01/2015 16:35

Thank you for your advice, I feel truly sick. My dd cuddles the dog as if she's drowning and it's a lifebelt.... She follows the dog when it walks away etc. However, she is young and I think we over estimated how much control she would have. She adores the dog.

We discussed a lot last night (me and her, dh is away this week) that dogs who bite are not part of a family. She knows that I love the dog but I love her so much more and that I have to keep her safe. The idea of getting rid the dog is out there. She was devastated when I mentioned it. But I can see that we are heading towards a dog-free lifestyle...

I don't think we can rehome - not with the issues we've had. If it went on to bite someone else, it would be even worse. Our dog doesn't cope well in kennels, a stint in a shelter could mess her up completely.....

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 15/01/2015 16:37

It sounds like you have done everything you can.

what's the point in having a dog if your kids can't even look at them or cuddle them.

If you think you can find a suitable home with someone with acres of land and no children and the expertise then great.

but truthfully? This dog will likely he neglected in any other homes leading to an even more dangerous incident. I think I'd put to sleep to be honest. be case no matter what the dog has done, it doesn't deserve to spend it's life unloved and neglected and in and out of shelters. that's far more cruel Imo than PTS. Flowers

ShatnersBassoon · 15/01/2015 16:37

A dog that can't be looked in the eye because it will become aggressive is totally unsuitable as a family pet. Your daughter is at risk, and it's not her fault at all. Who doesn't want to look at and cuddle their pet? Sad

Original poster
butterfliesinmytummy · 15/01/2015 16:37

Ok, looking into eyes ... she literally stares the dog in the eye with her nose touching the dog's. It's not so much the nature of staring, it's more proximity of her face to the dog's teeth......

OP posts:
BlueKarou · 15/01/2015 16:42

You need to rehome the dog to someone willing to work with her issues. It sounds like she is young and ok when comfortable and people avoid her triggers? Do as much as you can to find somewhere for her that will work on her aggression, but be honest with them about what has happened.

For now keep your children separate from the dog. If you can block off a room to keep the dog in that would be ideal - give her space and security whilst keeping your children safe.

Set yourself a deadline, and if you haven't found a safe home for the dog to go to then unfortunately PTS might be the only option. It isn't fair on you, your family or your dog if you keep her.

Corabell · 15/01/2015 16:43

Seriously, you've tried a great deal of strategies and you are asking what next? This doesn't seem like a family friendly pet and your poor daughter got a terrible fright from a completely unsuitable dog. How can you put that level of responsibility on a six year old?

Original poster
butterfliesinmytummy · 15/01/2015 16:47

Thanks all again. I have just emailed my behaviourist for advice too.

I can't type any more, I feel sick, I can see where this is heading.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 15/01/2015 16:54

FlowersWine

it honestly sounds as of you have gone above and beyond for this dog.

This is nothing more than bad luck you have not failed in any way and you need to go easy on yourself

Humansatnav · 15/01/2015 16:59

Flowers its a really difficult situation, but I think you know what you have to do.

tabulahrasa · 15/01/2015 17:01

For what it's worth, I don't think children should necessarily be able to cuddle dogs and stare into their eyes, that isn't natural behaviour for dogs and not all dogs like it or will tolerate it.

But, if realistically you can't stop your daughter behaving like that it's not really feasible to keep the dog.

Rehoming a dog with the issues yours has is IMO irresponsible and the chances are that it will not end happily.

Honestly, if you really can't stop your daughter from behaving inappropriately towards the dog, I'd have her PTS rather than sending her to a rescue with strangers where the end result may well be the same anyway.

My dog has some pretty severe behavioural issues (including aggression with strangers) and if I ever become unable to manage him or he escalates to the point that anyone is unsafe, sadly, that is what I will have to do with him. It would be better for him to be PTS with me and a vet he knows rather than to leave me, live with strangers, risk a worse incident and then be PTS by people he doesn't know.

LokiBuddyBoo1 · 15/01/2015 17:10

Sounds like an unstable dog. I would like another poster said set a time limit to find a suitable home with someone who can help the dog and if you can't then PTS.
As you would feel much worse if you just kept the dog and something happens.
It's not fair on the dog to be in that unstable state on edge all the time and it's not fair on your daughter to have a dog she can't look at or cuddle for fear of getting bitten.
Kids and dogs growing up together is a great thing my 5 year old neice and her dog do everything together, sleep, play she even dresses her up and pushes her around in a dolls pram. She has never even so much as growled at her and my neice knows to leave the dog alone when she's eating and sleeping. If you have a dog and kids then they should be able to play and cuddle together.

muttynutty · 15/01/2015 17:41

This dog needs to be rehomed asap. I am a qualified behaviourist. The dog does not need to be PTS if I understand you post correctly.

The combination of your DC not be able to leave the dog alone and being allowed to stare at the dog so closely will lead to most dogs reacting.

The dog needs to go to a home where dog language and behaviour is understood. Your dog has clearly given warning signs about behaviour that it finds threatening - your dc continue to stress the dog so your dog has no option tbh.

Your dog would have bitten and broken the skin if it wanted to so this incident was a controlled one from your dog.

it does not sound like an unstable dog, it does not sound like a dog with major issues. It sounds like a stressed dog that is getting more stressed by the enviroment it is living in.

If you are dealing with a qualified behaviourist they will have contacts and will be able to rehome for you - if not pm and I will help with this.

In the meantime keep dc and the dog separate from each other.

judey · 15/01/2015 17:43

OK, know I'll get slated for this, but...some dogs snap. It doesn't mean that they are going to attack a child. Snapping and little bites are how adult dogs send a message to annoying puppies. It can be a simple and effective way to say 'stop doing that, it makes me uncomfortable'.
Give your dog a chance. Monitor the situation. Don't rush into killing your dog. Talk to your daughter again and make sure she knows the consequences of her behaviour. Make a decision in a few weeks.
As for some of the other posts (who will jump on me, no doubt), dogs are not just here to entertain our children, but actually have a right to exist in their own right. As for allowing a child to dress up a dog and push it around in a pram....you should be ashamed. You should teach children to respect animals.

MythicalKings · 15/01/2015 17:44

Don't risk your DD's face for a dog. Have it PTS straight away.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 15/01/2015 17:48

I'm sorry but the dog needs to be PTS.
You can not risk your daughter or any other child.

Buttholelane · 15/01/2015 18:00

No they don't judey.
My dog turns her head away from annoying puppies. She stops playing with annoying puppies. She might give annoying puppies the look. Or curl her lip. She might, if they are being really annoying let out a little growl or air snap.
She does not bite annoying puppies.

Would you be happy if your dog gave an annoying child 'a little bite'?
Bearing in mind that children have no fur, thin skin and even a controlled bite, aside from being unbelievably painful can still require stitching and cause scarring?

I never fail to be shocked by people who know their dog hates kids, or adults, maybe even has bitten someone and makes excuses for it.
Does dogs no favours at all excusing behaviour like that.

judey · 15/01/2015 18:07

Buttholelane- dogs do nip annoying puppies. Fact. Perhaps do a little research.
Of course I wouldn't be happy if my dog bit my child. In the same way I wouldn't be happy if a sibling pushed/hit/bit etc. However, I wouldn't kill a child. I'd deal with it.
It's so easy for people like you to just kill animals when they don't behave exactly as you'd like them to.
Dogs are not toys.
FYI I grew up with dogs who nipped. NO BIG DEAL.

catsrus · 15/01/2015 18:08

I've had dogs for 30 yrs, a couple who were dog aggressive and had to be muzzled on walks, if you re-home you are passing on the responsibility to someone else and yes, risking a much more serious incident with someone else's child or pet. Dogs who are bred to be companion dogs to people need to be trustworthy. If any of my dogs had shown aggression to my dc I would have had them PTS, sorry.