Not sure I can do this anymore (please don't flame me) (long)

[Solo2]

I don't think I can do this....I've been up the entire night with Rollo (1 yr old golden retriever) who has developed diarrhoea - again.

Anyone who know his history, will be aware that he had this recurrently for about 5 months, where each time he came off antibiotics, he got ill again. I spent nights and days hosing the lawn and kitchen, had no sleep, could never ignore him of he howled at night, as it usually meant he needed to poo...I spent about £2,000 on vet/ vet hospital fees.

I've found it SO stressful having a dog that even when he's not been ill and has withdrawn from medications and now off everything for about 1.5 months, it's been really difficult. I am constantly torn between Rollo's needs and my children's needs and am massively more stressed than I've ever been and a massively worse mother (solo mum) than I've ever been.

Latterly, Rollo hasn't been able to go off-lead as he discovered hunting and won't come back when called. I'm working on this. I've decreased my self-employed earnings to free up enough hrs in the day to do dog walks and training. I pay vast amounts at w/es and school hols to have the dog looked after by his lovely trainer, so that I can focus on the DCs and keep - barely - on top of household tasks and business paperwork.

However committed I am, I did say to myself that, if Rollo got diarrhoea again, I'd have to rehome him. I'm not sure it's fair on my DCS NOT to rehome him really, as I can't give them what they need and give Rollo also what he needs. I feel despairing.

I signed a contract with the breeder that she'd be informed and have a say in rehoming but my DCs - who keep definitely WANTING to rehome him (they have nothing to do with him at all and never really wanted him) and definitely NOT wanting to rehome him, think they could live with him being rehomed near to us where we could still see him.

I'd LOVE my dog trainer to have him - IF she could/would (she has 3 dogs of her own and lives in a tiny flat but she's known Rollo since he was 7 weeks old and often has him to stay). However, I haven't even approached her about this yet. She was supposed to have him this w/e but obviously can't/won't given he's ill and I've NO idea how to manage the w/e (I'm working Sat. am anyway) and have a sick dog and the DCs too...

She would be brilliant at knowing who locally could have him BUT I'm supposed to do this through the breeder who isn't local to us and hasn't had any contact with us/ Rollo, except an email or two when he was v sick some months ago.

I'm torn apart...I know I'm writing after a night without sleep and with a full day of work and dog-poo mopping ahead but...it's not really working is it? I know many of you will be totally aghast at my thoughts on re-homing and I always believed I could MAKE this work for us and waited a lifetime for a dog but...I really don't think I can go on.

I am barely managing when Rollo isn't ill. I must have now spent around £6,000+ in total on him in the last 11 months and LOST income because of having him too. If I didn't have DCs, I could manage. I'm not sure it's fair on the DCs to keep him, even IF they never forgive me for re-homing him.

Not sure what else to say really and am fully aware that many of you will find it appalling that I'm considering rehoming at a time when so many dogs are rehomed (1 yr+ old). He's got a lovely temperament and I'm told by other dog owners that he's 'easy' , except for the tummy trouble.

Have no idea why he's ill as he wears a muzzle ALL the time we're out and about, never eats anything at all other than his Royal Canin Sensitivity kibble (I am literally obsessive at monitoring him) and was fine on that for over a month and on NO medication. He's even had less contact with other dogs than normal, since I've had to keep him to on-lead walks....I think it must be the underlying condition returning.

Have a vet appointment later today (which also means paying for an after school facility for my DCs) as they can't fit me in earlier....

That's where I am today, after a night up and a future streching out before me
that just feels impossible

D0oinMeCleanin- such a thoughtful offer..

I don't know if this helps or not, but I have a wonderful vet who I trust alot. I asked him about RAW out of interest, he said he didn't approve of it and gave the usual comments about bacteria, not enough nutrition (i.e. no added vits etc), and worries over chicken bones.

About 6 months later, I was talking to him about our Husky killing and eating rabbits when I know there's mixie in the area, and he said it was fine, would do her no harm and would be a kinder end to the rabbit if it had mixie.

Well, the rabbits are by definition RAW !

So I think, as said above, the Vets are being conditioned not to recommend raw. I'm seriously considering it for my three - one of which has a sensitive tummy

Crikey Solo - I think you shoudl jump at D0oin's fantastic offer.

Frankly I would have had poor Rollo PTS by now. What is his quality of life like with these endless illnesses? You can't tell me he isn't suffering.

I certainly couldn't cope with the endless bouts of diarrhoea. Nor with spending £6k in what, a year? It's not what people sign up to when they get a puppy.

You all say nobody will rehome him, no rescue centre will take him. Why is that do you think? Is it because he is bloody hard work, and a money sink-hole? Why do you think the poor OP can carry on?

She's given it a good shot, her reasons are not trivial. It's time to let Rollo go.

(The Doghouse willl be pleased to know I only have cats, who I love to bits. But I'd do the same for them)

Whoah! I wasn't indicating my life is harder than anyone elses. I'm in awe of many of you and could not manage at all, Minimuu, with your lot. We are very different personalities. I'm probably an anxious neurotic and you're probably a calm, extrovert with a very pragmatic approach to life.

I was trying to be lighthearted and jokey but it doesn't come across like this when emailing, I think. I would reiterate though, that, with lots and lots of behavioural related stuff, I constantly take advice from here and act on it - eg regarding walks, training etc etc. I also intend to continue to follow many of the pieces of advice that have come my way today too.

I know my own stress contributes to my DTs stress and of course I then feel more stressed and guilty that this is the case! I do try to use humour to lighten the atmosphere for all of us, myself included and I also have part of me that's very calm and centred - SOME of the time! Obviously I post on MN when I'm most stressed! Off-loading really helps.

My son with Asps traits would indeed be anxious even without me as a mother but I accept that if I can stay as calm as possible, then this helps.

Back to Rollo - who is now lying at my feet....I talked to the best vet at the practice when I picked him up. I really trust her as she's had yrs of experience. I told her what lots of people (MN obviously!!) had recommended. I had an in depth discussion about RAW, slippery elm and Rollo's underlying condition.

She was very clear. She said if he were a new pup, she'd be encouraging us to try RAW and giving him a v varied diet, so that he didn't become hypersensitive. She'd also heard of slippery elm and talked about it's posisble benefits for some dogs. Then she emphasised that in Rollo's specific and individual case, the best thing to do was NOT to try RAW and NOT to try slippery elm because he'd been totally fine for ages on the food he's on.

She seemed v knowledgeable about Royal Canin and still said it was best for him to stay on what he was used to. He's back on 400mg Metronidazole twice a day and I can also give a steroid if his diarrhoea flares up. But she said to see how he goes on the antibioitic only as the steroid will make him more hungry.

She said that a lifelong small dose of metronidazole can often be the answer. She reminded me that he was totally and utterly fine on this and his food, with nicely formed, hard stools 2 to 3 times a day - until he'd been off antibiotics for 4 weeks, when he relapsed.

Anyway, I feel I must, for now, do what's being recommended. If this is frustrating, then I'm sorry and I do appreciate everyone's input and I DO take on board what you're saying and have instigated several changes in how I am with Rollo and his general schedule. Minimuu recommended 2 off lead walks twice a day and that's what I did - completely changing round my work schedule to manage this (till he lost his recall - but again, we're working on that). Others said I was overstimulating him - and I let up on the interaction. There have been loads of examples where I've followed through on advice.

At the moment, I don't feel I can follow through - yet - on advice relating to his diet. He has been fine on Royal Canin Sensitivity and metronidazole. The vets believe he'll be fine again on that.

I remain worried - but then that's my personality. I really want to get some sleep tonight and can't predict I'll not have to be up with Rollo. As you can see, I'm still doing what I can to be a good owner. I'm still caring for him, paying the vets bills, taking one day at a time. I very much appreciate those people who have the foresight to see that I'm not one to give up and that I'm doing what I can to make it all work.

It really helps to post and off-load and seek advice but if it's too frustrating for people that I'm not following everything you believe I should do (eg Raw Food/ Slippery Elm) or am unable to change my personality and stressful lifestyle, then I suppose I could stop posting here or put a 'warning' in the title - so that anyone who doesn't want to read my posts, can hide the thread.

Anyway, thanks for the supportive comments today. I have a very hungry but still under par dog here who I must take out again in a minute.

'She seemed v knowledgeable about Royal Canin' That's because they sponsored her nutrition training . Ask her about Hills or another well known brand they don't stock and I guarentee she will know diddly squat about it.

I hope Rollo continues doing well on Royal Canin, I really truely do but please do consider changing his diet if it happens again.

Just give me a PM about the bike thing or anything else you might want help with if you decide to give it a shot.

Suggestion: Try that advice on the SN boards, OneHandFlapping.

Just because a sentient being is an expense and an inconvenience does ot mean that he should be dispensible.

Sometimes, when we have exhausted all other options and taken up sensible advice and options, the kindest thing we can do for our pets is euthanise, OHF. The point which is repeatedly being made here is that that stage has not been reached.

However some of us are concerned that Solo is willfully making life hard for herself whilst fast-forwarding towards that point without stopping to explore the very valid and valuable advice presented here. For those of us who also have serious family commitments and worries, who also have Autistic or SN children, who also have one or more dogs and other pets, whose pets also have serious health issues, who are also lone parents, who also have absolutely no adult support whatsoever and who may even have areas of additional hardship which Solo doesn't, it's perhaps a little understandable that we should become irked.

D0oinMeCleanin's offer is very generous. If I were you, Solo, knowing that you can trust her 100%, I would grab that offer with both hands.

"She seemed v knowledgeable about Royal Canin "

[Genuine question] Does the surgery sell Royal Canin, Solo?

Hey dooin, fancy training a ginormous daft labradonkey to run alongside a bike too? I can fall off a bike from a standing start so don't fancy my chances

Have only read your OP as it's extremely long, and I therefore don't know if this has been said before etc, but could he have colitis? My lovely dog had colitis in her aging years and it was dreadful. The smell was unbelievable too. It was controlled by drugs though.

there is absolutely no reason not to try the slippery elm - it will not interfere with the flagyl.

if your vet told you she knows it will not help rollo then quite frankly she is talking bollocks. she CANNOT know that without trying him on it.

i am going to stop posting on your threads about rollo now. i hope for his sake you try the slippery elm.

No I'm just ever so slightly mad. You'd have to be to live in my house with dd1 and her obbession with fashion and unsuitable music videos. And dd2 and her obsession with impersonating a small, ill trained dog, Dh and, well the less said about him the better . And then there is my own dear, ever so well behaved terrier who absolutely is not humping everything and in sight and panting constantly because Whippy is in season my house is like a cross between an animal porno and a murder scene with all the dry humping and blood. Squitty cat, well he's not too bad right now. He hasn't been out for a while so he's not squitty anymore. Add to the fact that I seem to accquire extra children and the ocassional Lurcher willy nilly.

I need my dogs to keep me sane. Long walks with my ipod away from my house. Bliss.

jajas - yes, humans can take slippery elm. very effective for ibs, colitis etc. it is available in either powder or capsule form.

No Jajas, I'm Solo,* she's an imposter Solo2.

everything crossed that rolo gets through the night well and you get some sleep and that things stay settled down.

poor rolo - metronidazole makes me feel like death.

maybe give the plan you and vet are set upon a fixed time to work iyswim - so you review the situation in x months time to see if it really has worked?

you seem calmer this evening. i wasn't attacking your personality btw just pointing out that getting so worked up inevitably leads to everything seeming harder and thinking gets black and white and catastrophic. do hope you can find ways to relax and recharge and deal with stress.

I might get me some too. I'm almost as bad as squitty cat atm . I say almost as bad, unlike some

D0oinMeCleanin- you should write a book- you have a lovely style of writing and very funny!!

I'm going to give slippery elm a go. I have colitis and I've never heard of it. I'll ask/tell the consultant when I next see them! I changed vets after they gave a script for Rimadyl without saying that they tasted as good as liver treats. One of the dogs got onto the kitchen worktop and ate the lot. Both dogs were rushed off to hospital to have their stomachs pumped and to be watched, at a cost of £800. If pills taste like sweets, I thought, surely they should be dispensed in something more than an envelope. It's not easy when you feel that you trust someone, even when they have let you down.

Dooin, that's a very generous offer.

Solo2, I'm glad that Rollo is back home with you. I understand your reluctance about the RAW diet given that Rollo clearly has problems and the vet read the riot act about it. The nearest thing is Orijen which contains a wider range of things than the Royal Canin Sensitive but no grains, and is the closest to a raw diet in a kibble form (it's made from fresh ingredients but it's not raw). It's what I feed my dogs and if you want to try something else, you could try that, or one of the other foods that people have mentioned.

Unfortunately it's just part of being a dog owner that we feel embarrassed and annoyed when our dog runs off and doesn't come back. Since you keep practising recall, you will have that cracked before long.

As for those who are calm and pragmatic, well, you can fake that, even if you don't feel it inside. After a while it becomes a habit and you do actually feel more calm inside too.

I think you've had a tough time with Rollo and you should be proud that you are still trying to make your relationship with him work. At the same time, I'm glad to hear you say you are taking people's advice on board, because - even with his health issues - he doesn't need to take up so much of your time. If you want to spend four hours a day on Rollo, why not make some of it sitting watching TV/reading a book/knitting while Rollo is curled up by your feet? That would be quality time for Rollo too because he would be happy just to be with you.

Solo2 - my collie is a few months older than Rollo and her once reliable recall has also disappeared. Balls, tuggies etc have limited attraction when faced with the much more exciting prospect of chasing squirrels! Father Christmas brought us a cani-cross kit and it has been a life changer. I was convinced she would be dragging me through trees and bushes to get at squirrels, but she completely ignores them when we are cani- crossing because she has a job to do. I don't know if you are a runner but I highly recommend cani-cross. Tires out dog and relaxes owner - win! win!

My young collie also has a sensitive stomach. We tried various dried dog foods and nothing produced firm stools. We did switch to Raw (natural instinct and chicken wings) and my vet thoroughly approved despite flogging Hills in his waiting room. Her coat and teeth are fantastic and the consistency and frequency of her poo has improved enormously. However, it is noticeable that if there is a period of anxiety or tension in the family, her poos revert to mush. My collie's poos have become the barometer of familial harmony and we adjust our behaviour accordingly .