Not sure I can do this anymore (please don't flame me) (long)

[Solo2]

I don't think I can do this....I've been up the entire night with Rollo (1 yr old golden retriever) who has developed diarrhoea - again.

Anyone who know his history, will be aware that he had this recurrently for about 5 months, where each time he came off antibiotics, he got ill again. I spent nights and days hosing the lawn and kitchen, had no sleep, could never ignore him of he howled at night, as it usually meant he needed to poo...I spent about £2,000 on vet/ vet hospital fees.

I've found it SO stressful having a dog that even when he's not been ill and has withdrawn from medications and now off everything for about 1.5 months, it's been really difficult. I am constantly torn between Rollo's needs and my children's needs and am massively more stressed than I've ever been and a massively worse mother (solo mum) than I've ever been.

Latterly, Rollo hasn't been able to go off-lead as he discovered hunting and won't come back when called. I'm working on this. I've decreased my self-employed earnings to free up enough hrs in the day to do dog walks and training. I pay vast amounts at w/es and school hols to have the dog looked after by his lovely trainer, so that I can focus on the DCs and keep - barely - on top of household tasks and business paperwork.

However committed I am, I did say to myself that, if Rollo got diarrhoea again, I'd have to rehome him. I'm not sure it's fair on my DCS NOT to rehome him really, as I can't give them what they need and give Rollo also what he needs. I feel despairing.

I signed a contract with the breeder that she'd be informed and have a say in rehoming but my DCs - who keep definitely WANTING to rehome him (they have nothing to do with him at all and never really wanted him) and definitely NOT wanting to rehome him, think they could live with him being rehomed near to us where we could still see him.

I'd LOVE my dog trainer to have him - IF she could/would (she has 3 dogs of her own and lives in a tiny flat but she's known Rollo since he was 7 weeks old and often has him to stay). However, I haven't even approached her about this yet. She was supposed to have him this w/e but obviously can't/won't given he's ill and I've NO idea how to manage the w/e (I'm working Sat. am anyway) and have a sick dog and the DCs too...

She would be brilliant at knowing who locally could have him BUT I'm supposed to do this through the breeder who isn't local to us and hasn't had any contact with us/ Rollo, except an email or two when he was v sick some months ago.

I'm torn apart...I know I'm writing after a night without sleep and with a full day of work and dog-poo mopping ahead but...it's not really working is it? I know many of you will be totally aghast at my thoughts on re-homing and I always believed I could MAKE this work for us and waited a lifetime for a dog but...I really don't think I can go on.

I am barely managing when Rollo isn't ill. I must have now spent around £6,000+ in total on him in the last 11 months and LOST income because of having him too. If I didn't have DCs, I could manage. I'm not sure it's fair on the DCs to keep him, even IF they never forgive me for re-homing him.

Not sure what else to say really and am fully aware that many of you will find it appalling that I'm considering rehoming at a time when so many dogs are rehomed (1 yr+ old). He's got a lovely temperament and I'm told by other dog owners that he's 'easy' , except for the tummy trouble.

Have no idea why he's ill as he wears a muzzle ALL the time we're out and about, never eats anything at all other than his Royal Canin Sensitivity kibble (I am literally obsessive at monitoring him) and was fine on that for over a month and on NO medication. He's even had less contact with other dogs than normal, since I've had to keep him to on-lead walks....I think it must be the underlying condition returning.

Have a vet appointment later today (which also means paying for an after school facility for my DCs) as they can't fit me in earlier....

That's where I am today, after a night up and a future streching out before me
that just feels impossible

Villagegossip, there's been a lot of discussion about the advantages of raw feeding for dogs - especially those with sensitive stomachs. I've talked about it several times and at length with various vets. Latterly, when I picked Rollo up from his last in-stay (massive bill again!!), I asked the best vet in the practice about it. She's the one who HAD once advocated feeding pups a variety of human leftovers, when I'd first got Rollo a year ago.

She still believes in raw food diet/ varied, non-commencial diet BUT NOT in Rollo's case.

His stomach is only used to dry kibble - a wheat free, sensitivity Royal Canin one. She said the new textures of raw food (or anything else) alone, would make him much more ill at this point and that in HIS case, because of his history, I should avoid any changes at all to his diet.

We know that he does fine on the food he's on IF he's also on metronidazole antibiotics. It took me months to wean him off these, v v gradually only to find that after 4 weeks pill free, he developed diarrhoea again.

He's been v unwell but is now bouncing back, with the metronidazole and the same food as he was on before. She - and other vets, have strongly advised me against trying any new food - raw or otherwise, at this point. The Royal Canin is only one of several they sell at the vets and I don't get the impression they'd push this as opposed to any other, for commercial reasons. I do believe she - and the others - genuinely feel that it'd be too risky to try anything new at this point, with Rollo.

So I have MN Dog Forum, on the one hand, encouraging me to go RAW and all the vets I know in RL, encouraging me to stay with what works - IF Rollo is on an antibiotic. You can imagine how difficult to is for anyone to go directly against the advice of the vet (like going against the advice of your GP), when they saying it'll make Rollo even more ill.

However, I can see how RAW works extremely well in so many cases and I instinctively feel that it's good, as it's what dogs have evolved to eat. So I'm not at all against it. I just daren't try Rollo on anything other than what he's on, as I daren't risk more diarrhoea/nights and days up with him. This is because that's how I got pushed to the edge of coping recently - and before.

Meanwhile, Rollo continues to improve today on his tablets and usual food and is getting back to his cheerful self. Unfortunately, I was up all night again - but this time with one of the DCs being ill!

I understand your reasoning. Stick with it for now - but keep the RAW and slippery elm nugget of information up your sleeve for a future date, if required.
Good luck.

Phew I'm sooo glad we didn't take our dog to the vet when his diarrhoea didn't settle when we got him from the rescue.

It was scary enough daring to try him on raw food after a few weeks of the runs and 6 different types of food, but to give it a try after a year of suffering, when you've forked out ££££ to no avail and the vets (who haven't managed to solve the problem) are dead set against him being allowed to even try it, well, that must be really nerveracking for you :(

However.... do you think Rollo is an ill dog? Do you think he's a dog who can't cope without chemical antibiotics to live?

Hypothetically, if a dog was eating a very poor diet what do you think its symptoms would be? Upset stomach, scavenging for faeces and other rubbish to try and make up for the gaps in the diet maybe? Running off to try and hunt something down when allowed off lead?

What other symptoms does Rollo have? Anything that doesn't fit in with being chronically undernourished on processed dog food??

you could just invest in some slippery bark or whatever it is. that sounds OK/

I think vets are getting a bad press on this thread. When my old dog started losing weight in the last year of her life, never once did the vets at my practice recommend any of the food they sold.

They had plenty of opportunities to sell us whatever the hell they liked and we would have bought it. The only brand-name they ever mentioned was Bakers, and that was to tell us to avoid it like the plague.

Some vets are very good Chedders. Many are not. I heart the young, foriegn vet at our pratise. I took my terrier for a health check there the day after we got him. He took one look at him and asked if I had him insured yet. Because it was 9:30am on a Monday morning (cancelled appointment) and we'd only gotten him on the Sunday night I hadn't had time. He cancelled the appointment and told me to go home and sort the insurance and bring him back in an hour.

Turns out he had all the symptoms of a potentially expensive skin condition. We discussed foods. He told me about all the things that dog are commonly allergic to (wheat, grains, pork, the vast majority of commercial dogs foods) and gave me a lengthy list of foods I could try inc. JWB, Orijen, Nature Diet. He never mentioned BARF or any of the foods the practise sold. He spent an hour with me going through all possible allergens, including cleaning stuffs, fleas, dust mite etc. We discussed all possible tests, creams, pills and the cost of this both in my time and financially.

The next time he had a flare up we saw a different vet who told me it was definately the food I was feeding him and I should change him to Hills. I'd been on MN long enough to avoid Hills like the plauge. I changed him to Nature Diet. He still had bad skin. I went back and saw the original vet who thought since he'd been fine all winter, it was likely to be pollen. He prescribed Piriton and a steriod cream. Skin cleared up fine. Dog now uses piriton every summer. I wonder how many different products the other vet would have sold me before coming up with the cheap and easy option of piriton? Trial and error tells us he is allergic to pollen, fleas and wheat. There is no need for him to be on an expensive diet like Hills prescription food.

But that's just it Dooin. I don't think these vets were very good. I had cause to be dissatisfied with them many times over the years, and one of my complaints was that I never saw the same vet twice.

My dog was finally diagnosed with a muscle wasting illness, similar to Motor Neurone Disease, but by that point I'd taken her to a different practice.

My point is that over the course of a year, I had many discussions about diet and how to feed my enormous Ridgeback. Several times the vets put it down to old age and told me to increase the amount of food to give, and to give her more treats.

Having read this thread, it would seem that the majority of vets are just out for commission and as much cash as they can get. This isn't my experience at all. While I have little loyalty or even confidence in my original practice, they never tried to sell me any of their products and I can't believe this is unusual.

Apart from when it's an on going condition like the terrier's skin issue I shop about for vets and go to the cheapest one. Price varies dramatically round here.

One practise constantly tries to sell me Royal Canin. And I do mean constantly. No matter what I am there for I have to listen to a sales pitch for Royal Canin.

One practise never mentions food but does stock Royal Canin. I've never been there for anything that could be food related, however. Only ever for Whippy's cut leg and with my Dad's lurcher.

The practise I use the most are very good in the main part, but the senior vet seems to think that Hills truely is a cure all solution. Dog with irritable skin? There's a Hills product for that. Cat with dodgy tum? There's a Hills product for that. Underweight Whippet? There's a Hills product for that. I almost keeled over with shock when he didn't suggest a Hills food for the cat's grazed tail Honestly if talks at me about Hills once more I am going to wallop with him round the head a with a large sack of it.

He will discuss other options with me when I refuse to use Hills but of course still tells me that Hills would be the best, cheapest option. I normally request to see the younger vet there. He is really lovely and never tries to sell me anything.

I am glad you have a dignosis for your dog now Chedders and I am sorry it tooks so long. Some vets are shite but you owe them no loyalty. If they can't get to the bottom of what is going on it's fine to seek a second, third or even fourth opinion.

Ah my dog died at Christmas when the illness reached her respiratory tract. Turns out there was nothing any vet could've done.

I hate being given the hard-sell and it sounds like you'd be fully justified in walloping your vet round the chops with some raw chicken.

The last time I visited the vet he tried desperately to sell me some Dentastix. We hadn't gone in for anything tooth-related - it was for the kennel cough jab

FFS, anyway if I were going to buy them I wouldn't buy them from the vet, would I? I'd go online.

"Kennel cough jab" - well, kennel cough SQUIRT.

Thanks for taking the time to repeat what you've tried so far - I appreciate that having not been on this part of the forum for long.

I just know how much most vets are against RAW as have experienced this over the years with my dogs.

I do hope he improves - it must be hard to manage his problems - best of luck!

I go to my local Easipet chain vets. They are cheap, and brillaint. There are three vets, and each one has shown themselves to be caring, kind and patient. I love them.

Cheddars, had opposite issue with my Ridgeback... gaining weight but not eating...
My vet was hopeless so I changed...
thyroid test £40 plus meds, sorted
Sorry to hear about your RR being so poorly too :(

Hoe Rollo continues to improve Solo

Rollo's tummy continues to improve but he seems to have an eye infection now and last night, for some unknown reason, something freaked him out on his last toilet walk and he howled and barked for ages. Took a lot of trying, to calm him down and get him to go to sleep and the DCs were completely upset.

Anyway, whilst you can see I'm still carrying on with him, I did re-contact his breeder, updated her and asked her what the procedure would be IF - and only IF - I got to a point of not being able to cope anymore, financially and emotionally.

She misinterpreted my email, jumping to the conclusion that I wanted to rehome him right away, which actually set off a huge resction against this inside me, like, "You can't have MY dog!" But what she also said, worried me and I wanted to check on here whether this is a normal response in a breeder:

She said she was about to go off to Crufts and would, " ask around whether anyone wanted a one year old golden retriever". I must admit, this shocked me because, from what I've read on this forum, rehoming a dog is a massively long process - or should be - where the owner is asked all kinds of questions about the dog and the right home carefully chosen for that dog.

Would a breeder have sufficient contacts and knowledge (she shows her dogs) just to ask around if anyone wants one and then sort of hand him over? She's not even seen Rollo since he left her at 7 weeks old and she's barely answered a few emails in that time.

Obviously, I'm still feeling very attached to Rollo and very protective of him- and at the same time, I'm still finding care of him really, really hard, in terms of time needed to get to the vets, the unpredictability of his health and sometimes his behaviour (like last night's howling), fitting in his walks after the school run and before starting work and after work and before the second school run etc etc.

If his trainer charged half of what she charges, then I might be able to manage, with her help, having him to stay, when I need this. But she's so expensive. But without some time off from the endless dog walks and dog care, I can't catch up on sleep, pay attention to my DCs needs and do the minimum of housework and paperwork for the business....

Glad Rollo is improving. Do you think he will e like this for life? Is taht what daunts you? It must be very difficult as if it ware a one off comlaint then it would be copeable with I think. The fact that you cannot see your way out of your tunnel must be very wearing. As I mentioned before (and several others posters) could you not ask around, put an advert in local paper, put advert in shop windows or ask at school gates if anyone knows a teen who would be happy to walk your dog once a day (or at least a couple of times a week) to take the pressure off you. I'm sure that a sensible young adult would be happy to for a £10 or so. That would be cheaper. Where I live there are lots of 'dog walker' adverts in teh local paper. Ypur trainer cannot be the ONLY one in your area. Look for a way to make life easier instead of heaping on more stress. I hope you find someone to help you solo2. You sound so overwhlemed .

Solo, I will reply properly later but the breeder you are talking about will have a huge number of contacts, both in terms of other breeders, puppy owners, those involved in breed rescue etc and a lot of those will be at Crufts. I assume she means just what she said, she'll ask around, eg. Make initial enquiries and he would almost certainly be homed on the same basis he was homed to you. However, I can't personally see anyone wanting to take on a dog with such huge vet bills and an unknown condition which he now can't be insured for but could have been as a puppy and then you wouldn't have all these huge bills. He will have come with 6 weeks free insurance initially.

I will reply properly later, but you really could make life so much easier for yourself.

i agree midori - look up a dog walking service today - there are sure to be some near you

i don't know why you keep bringing the walks up - you knew a dog would need walking and your time limitations before you got a dog.

he got spooked on a walk last night and was a bit unsettled by it. not the end of the world is it? not a common occurrence?

as for the breeder i think you're jumping to conclusions that asking around means she'd hand over the dog to just anyone without checking things. as midori says she'll have a lot of contacts there and it will be an ideal time to put out feelers. she's not talking about walking into tescos saying, 'anyone want a dog?'.

rolo is much better yet you're still determined to see him as a problem and a burden and something impossible to cope with. i'm afraid i really feel very sad for him - he had no say over who took him from the breeder and it was total pot luck. his life could have been so different. but now you have taken him there's no way to give him back the chances he had as a puppy. on the day you took him and in the weeks and early months that followed where you chose to keep him his chances of ever finding a positive home decreased dramatically.

i know everyone says that you've done well by hanging in there and keeping him but the reality is that actually it may have been much better for him if you'd faced very early on that you couldn't cope with a dog. he would have had a far better chance of being rehomed.

she's already been told that allergic and midori. that's the trouble really - lots of ways to make things easier but none of them being explored.

i agree with you swallowedAgly - i was one of the people who suggested it to her! Everything is a massive problem - even walking him which is a given when you get a dog - surely

I do feel for you Solo2 but it seems you have gotten yourself into a situation with Rollo where it has become so stressful to you that no matter how much better he gets or how your situation with him improves you just cant see it.

I dont think it will be easy to rehome him with all his problems however I really feel for Rollo, its unfair on him to be seen in such a negative light. As you say not even your DC want him. It must be very lonely for him.

I think a dog walker would take the load off at least a few days a week. I totally understand that the advice you have been given by a Vet that you trust has said not to try Raw feeding but if his problems keep coming back, what the worse that can happen to at least try?

I hope you and Rollo are feeling better today.

fgs, i dont get time off from dog and child care. currently stuck in for day 2 with a poorly 1yr old, a hyper 3 yr old, and a dog. the dog is a 2yr old labradoodle. whose walks this week has been 1 30mins blast down the local shops. thats it, because i cant take the 1yr old out as he is unwell and has liquid seeping from both ends. by the time hubby comes home from work, i am about ready to drop and fall asleep.

if you cant cope with the dog, then let the breeder ask around her contacts to see if anyone can have him. she wont just be unloading him to anyone.

you seem to be playing the 'woe is me' card, when the one suffering is rolo.

Solo, my dogs get out everyday - and I have a profoundly disabled dd1, 1 year old ds and newborn dd2. Admittedly I'm not working at the moment, but when I am we have a dogwalker to make sure the dogs don't suffer.

Stop spending so much money on a trainer and start applying some common sense. A student, or a fit pensioner, would be able to walk Rollo for you, take some of the strain off you and be a lot cheaper than the trainer. At one point we had a 90 year old dog walker for our old collie girl - it was a mutual love in for both of them!

Shop around for another vet. If you or your dc were ill you wouldn't think twice about seeking a second opinion if needed - why is this different?

You have been given so much good advice on these threads, please, please follow it.