How does rehoming a dog effect children?

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

DD is 18mo. She worships the dog (a 6yo lab), but I'm a lone parent and I just can't do it anymore. It's not fair on my poor dog that he always comes last in the pecking order and I've come to the (very difficult) decision to have him rehomed .

The problem is my ex. I've given him the opportunity to say he'll have him, but he's in no position to do that. He has started saying that he's concerned about DD, that she'll lose the one constant in her life (), will forever be traumatised and never forgive me.

My argument has been that if I do it now, she'll forget him more quickly than if I leave it another year. (Not that I want her to forget about him completely, but she'll stop asking for him sooner.)

Could anyone reassure me that DD will cope? I was planning to take her away for a few days when it happens so that she's not waiting at home for him to come back.

Any advice would be most welcome. TIA.

Elibean, yes, OP came back on yesterday and said she was now considering a dogshare with one of her friends - so it is quite clear that all avenues had not been explored when she wrote the OP. She also said she wouldn't return to the DH.

Math - Ive answered most of the points you raise several times

I havent missed the point she loves her dog, I said up thread that I felt that from her OP, which is why I dont think its a bad thing that people have asked OP the reasons and then responded with advice.

My post was a general one but yes I did pick out the laundry reason to form part of my post, so what? If people think thats a genuine reason then there is no need to be offended is there?

As for the rest of your post I think its safe to say that the OP does have a washing machine (because she refers to doing laundry) and that unless her and her DC walk around in sopping wet clothes then she also has somewhere to dry a dog towel, therefore may I suggest that perhaps you need to read OPs posts. (again sorry OP if you are still lurking to talk about you as if yu are not in the room so to speak)

Alot of posts slating people on here for not just having blinkers on and answering just the OPs query (repeat - this happens on all of MN) none seem to acknowledge that perhaps its a bit of probing that has given Op some ideas to enable her to keep her much loved pet and possibly given a bit of a happy ending. Funny that.

mathanxiety Mon 14-Nov-11 16:21:07
She said, very plainly, that all avenues had been explored.

But they hadnt had they?? the OP wasnt actually aware that things like the PDSA!!! vet fee were one of her main factors (totally understandable).

You know what this is all getting pathetic to be honest, and i have a feeling that im wasting my time on someone that just has a big spoon and to much time.

It is not ok to rehome a dog for the reasons the OP gave, simple as that.

When you buy the dog you MUST know that there is a chance that your relationship might brake down? just like when you plan a child you know that there is every chance you could end up with your dog and child alone!! YES is a chance that you MAY need to re home said dog, but is fair to do so without exploring EVERY avenue?

You dont even own a fucking dog but yet you seem to be such the expert!!

'As regards to the OPs circumstances i (AS YOU) can only go on what the OP posted, and IMO non of them were good reasons to rehome her dog.

When i got my dog/s i made a commitment to that dog that i would care for it for its life time, there are very few reasons i can think of that would make me re home ANY pet.'

3Cutedarlings, how is this not judgey, and dripping with sanctimoniousness?

Maryz, she hadn't explored every avenue. A brand new avenue occurred to her the day after she started this thread - dog share.

I can barely read this thread now for the sound of stirring. Toodle pip.

Maryz I seem to be x-posting with you a lot

Who made Math & Mary judge and jury on this thread?

Molly the op clearly did not find what she received here as a bit of gentle probing. She has said that she will not be back to the DH and I can't blame her. I find it frankly astonishing that posters are patting themselves on the back as if a good job has been done here. If the dog share or rehoming encounters any problems she now won't come back for help. Yep, that's somehting we in the DH should be really proud of.

As she says of those judging her, 'There's no way you can understand someone's life in just a few sentences...' which is why decent humans try to give the benefit of the doubt.

So Math, can we look forward to every one of your future posts just sticking to the OP?

I doubt there's any point since she has been scared off.

Word I didnt say gentle probing I said probing (god I cant even type that word without sniggering).

Im going to stop talking about the OP after this post now as she is not here, BUT if it was me, and I had realised that posting on here had given me an idea to keep my loved pet (if thats whats happened), then if I needed further advice this is the exact place I would come.

Math I think when you repeatedly try to wind people up you can expect them to become less than polite in their replies, although I would have to say that 3 cute has been nothing but polite to you, she answered a question that you put forward, not the op, you are the one who has derailed this thread.
People have given the op advice to open the possibility that she does have other options, isnt it better to confirm a decision or change your mind knowing you have all the facts available to you.

Wind people up? That is in the eye of the allegedly wound.

All the facts? All the vitriol and sanctimoniousness and a good dollop of judgement more like.

The OP gave the facts that were relevant to her, in her life, she being the one who lives her life and therefore being the best judge of what constitutes a fact of her life.. Her facts were ignored in favour of posts along the lines of 'Are you sure you are in your right mind' at the least offensive end and 'A dog is for life not just Christmas'/ 'I hope your child doesn't think she is next' at the extreme end.

A dog is for life not just for Christmas is offensive now according to Math. Can someone let the Dog Trust know? They better stop using it as their slogan - might offend people when rehoming their dogs.

Math, if you're going to preach to people about their conduct on a thread, might be best to leave out insults like "you sound like a 15th century pope about to excommunicate a heretic".

How come you're allowed to fling insults around, but noone else is?

More insults Math. Do carry on - it makes your point so well. The OP posted this the day after she started this thread:

*"If I go ahead with this it will not be without heartache and a great deal of consideration.

One option that came to me in the early hours this morning is a dog share. I know someone who wants to get a rescue dog and I?m hoping it?s not too late to put this to her."*

So by no means certain. So therefore totally appropriate for people to question the reasons for rehoming. Totally appropriate to give advice and ideas on how she can keep her dog. And she did start to think of other options.

And why are you babbling about religion now? You are namecalling, stirring and insulting people now - how ironic.

Damn bolding didn't work - never mind.

Maryz, I think it's fine to come on a thread and support an OP if you feel she has been judged/ unfairly treated. Not sure it helps anyone though to start arguments with other posters and 'pal up' with another poster who is just stirring it.

the dogs trust are nuts now? their slogan refers to the rehoming of dogs, which is I believe what we are discussing here.