rehomed our puppy and feel devastated

[ItsMyTurn]

that's it

I still think your post was unacceptable Valhalla. Caring for dogs doesn't mean ceasing to care for people. And it is dogmatic to react to every difficult rehoming situation as if it were on a moral par with dumping a dog in the street. It is a dogmatism that often goes unchallenged on the dog threads. If you want to stand on a soapbox, there is every opportunity to start threads to do that. You don't need to hijack everyone's expression of unhappiness by making the same points again and again on their threads.

valhalla - all due respect to you and your rescue work. I admire that greatly.

But I still have an ounce of sympathy with the OP. She has posted on here and been honest. She has not chucked the dog out on the streets, but doe what she can to get a new home.

Yes, she was wrong to get a dog. Shit happens. My SIL was desperate for a dog, but asthmatic. Even though she grew up with dogs she felt she would be ok with one. 2 weeks later she couldn't breathe, and was devasted at having to send the dog back. Sometimes things do happen beyod our control.

I would never re-home any of mine, ever, but would be a 'through thick and thin' person. but the OP had her reasons and better now than unhappy years ahead for the dog.

What I am trying to say, is that I see both sides of the story. Absolutely I do.

"You really need to learn a lot more about human emotions before you judge people on their treatment of dogs"

I could not disagree with this sentiment more if i tried....

Rabbit you are missing one very important point. OP was not wrong for rehoming her dog. Sometimes rehoming is the only RESPONSIBLE thing to do. The way OP went to rehome her dog was not responsible. Responsible thing to do would have been to find a reputable rescue to take the dog, which in turn would have found a good forever home. Instead it looks like the OP decided to sell the dog on to recoup some of the costs. This is not a responsible way to handle a living creature. She rightly feels guilty.

Wordwork "dogmatic"?? What is so dogmatic in expecting responsible rehoming?

Folk absolutely 100% agree with you.

The point is, on another thread the OP was given good advice that rehoming was probably the best option and how to go about it responsibly if she decided that was what she was going to do and for the best of the puppy.

However, because she wanted to recoup some of her expenses and 'get rid' of the dog ASAP, she decided to ignore that advice and give the dog to the first home that came along. That is what is wrong here.

Has the OP said she sold it then? And has shed said it went to the first home that came along? There are alot of presumptions.

I dont' know the full story so maybe if i can find t'other thread then I can have a read.

OP. I remember your last thread. You've done what you feel is right for you and your family - what a shame you are being given such grief here. I'm so sorry you lost your DH.

Rabbit. Yes, a lot of presumptions! I've reread OP's posts and she does not mention selling the pup, infect, her thread title uses the word re-home, to me anyway, that's different.

One of the wonderful things about Mumsnet is the support which is given to people ... such a pity that's not the case here. I feel very sorry for OP.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pets/1209705-Im-not-cut-out-for-owning-a-dog-but-we-have-a-9-week-old-puppy?pg=1

This is the original thread where the OP refers to the 'buyer' and one day isn't sure whether she is rehoming the dog, then the next day has a home for it, although one where she hasn't met the people, who later 'dither' about getting this puppy at all and want it without even seeing it.

It certainly doesn't sound to me like the OP has put much thought into it at all.

ok. will read.

Firstly , thankyou all to those who have not labelled me as a money grabbing, selfish bitch. I did not ask for money for Tilly. It was offered. I took excellent care of her but could not cope with the feelings that emerged whilst I had her here. I will stay off MN from now on - there are too many people on here who have no grasp of the emotions of others. It has made me feel completely wretched - I put so much thought into this decision - not slept, worried myself sick - not eaten - I cannot explain why I was feeling this way - it was certainly not directed at Tilly. My friends and family saw that I was falling apart but wanting to keep the puppy for my chidren's sake but also realised that it was having an enormously detrimental affect on my mental health and in turn my children were feeling it too. I kept changing my mind because I did not want to shove the puppy form pillar to post or upset myself of my children. Shove your opinions up your collective arses. This is supposed to be a forum for supporting one another not berating one another for making mistakes. I made a massive mistake and feel remorseful and horrid about it but I tried to rectify it before the children were too attached and before Tilly got too settled

MIDORI - I did not particularly care about recouping the money for Tilly. It was a factor but not a deciding factor ffs! She did not go to the first home available either! My contact has a clutch of people wanting to rehome at all times and was extremely selective about who to choose when finding ahome for Tilly. I must be an appalling model of humanity to keep chaing my mind so often mustn't I? So fickle and flaky. NO!!!! I was battling with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to do the best for dc's and puppy but feeling absolutely unable to control the feelings of anxiety, stress and despair which surfaced for whatever reason. I kept toing and froing becaseu ultimately I wanted to keep my puppy for life.

I also did not want to GET RID OF the dog ASAP - I jsut wanted her to be rehomed sooner rather than later for her sake and that ofmy children - what is so despicable about that

Recouping the money should not have been a factor at all. No-one is judging you for not being able to cope with the puppy. It's the way you went about rehoming her, despite all the excellent advise you were given that is the problem.

A professional dog walker, (who could be anyone btw. I could register for dog walkers insurance while I am sitting here on MN and become a 'professional' dog walker) is not a rescue worker or homechecker.

Please ensure that they know they must return the puppy to you if they/their dog cannot cope so you can find a rescue place for her. God knows where she could end up next time.

Again I am sorry about your Husband. I hope you and your DC are able to feel some happiness soon.

itsmyturn. - you did what you did for your own reasons. Only you could decide or really know why you did them. We can only try to understand things from your point of view. I would say you are clearly struggling with life without your dh which is totally normal and undertandable.

Perhaps in your grief (and that of your children) you felt life may improve a little if you bring a much wanted pet into the home. I can understand that fully.

As it worked out, it has not helped you through this very tough time, but only made life seem that much harder. That I can totally understand. We all make mistakes.

You have made the decision to re-home your dog and from what you say above, tilly has found a loving new home with people who are there all day, and also a little companion.

I think you have done a brave thing by firstly saying all this on here (which deserves a medal) and secondly by going ahead with the re-homing. It could have been different. An unwanted dog, an unhappy dog and not a very enjoyable life all round.

Don't take too much to heart from what you read on here. You know your reasons why this has happened.

Good luck

dooin - I have spoken to the rehoming lady. (she is highy qualified in many aspects of pet care) and told her that if things don'w work out with her new owners then she is to contact me immediately and I will take her back in - of course I have. Teh last thinkg I want is for Tilly to be shoved around.

The lady who rehomed her for me has known my sister for 11 years and the new owners for 8 years - tried, tested and extremely trustworthy

Why keep making excuses? You homed your dog, with money a factor, to someone you had never met and who didn't even want to meet the puppy before taking her.

I doubt that any reputable rescue would agree to home a puppy with an old, sick dog and I don't think any sensible and experienced 'dog person' would think it a good idea either, which makes me seriously doubt the experience or qualification of this person. Regardless of what you say about the existing dog loving the puppy, I have vast experience of puppies and know that even the most fit, healthy and tolerant dogs get fed up with puppies at times, because their desire to continually play with another dog can be overwhelming and older dogs simply need a break at times.

I appreciate things have been hard for you, I am not totally inhuman, but you were given advice on how to rehome the puppy suitably, yet didn't take it. On top of which, had you have gone to a decent breeder in the first place and done your research properly prior to getting this puppy, you wouldn't have found yourself in that situation in the first place.

Glad to hear you decided the money was not important, it was decent of the new owners to offer you some money for her and I hope you have donated it to your local dog rescue centre.

Midori, I agree with you. I have seen the original threads by OP when they were running and I stayed away from them because she was already given a lot of good advice. Shame she did not follow it.

Why is it that people who would not dream of kicking a dog when it's down would unapologetically metaphorically kick another person

you are all right of course. And I naturally intend to keep doing this time after time because I get such a kick out of rehoming innocent little puppies, making mistakes and upsetting my children. So now why don't you all just fuck off and leave me to kill myself

ItsMyTurn.
Please stop reading this thread, it's not helping you at all. You made a mistake, and did your best to rectify it.
You don't deserve this treatment.

I hope things get better for you soon.

"Why is it that people who would not dream of kicking a dog when it's down would unapologetically metaphorically kick another person"

OP is criticized because she sold the dog to an inappropriate home. Unfortunately, nobody here (apart from maybe OP) will never know what will happen to it or to the older dog that got the puppy as a "companion" in the long run. I very much hope Tilly and the other dog will not suffer from this irresponsible decision. It is irrelevant what money OP got in the process.