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Original poster

I'm not cut out for owning a dog but we have a 9 week old puppy

83 replies

ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 08:00

I am totally stressed and exhausted Sad

OP posts:
shopalot · 08/05/2011 08:12

Didn't you feel like that when you had your children!! It gets easier and is such a short time when they are puppies.

Original poster
ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 08:14

really?? iposted on 'to get a puppy or not to get a puppy thread' too - explains how I feel

OP posts:
Tortoise · 08/05/2011 08:17

Why did you get a puppy if you aren't cut out for it? Maybe you should just re-home it if it is causing you so much stress!

Original poster
ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 08:22

because I had grown up with dogs as a child but not quite the same when hyou are the adult responsible.I made a mistake- thought I had though it through but I didn't know it would make me feel so streessed and anxious

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 08/05/2011 08:27

Presumably you have only had the puppy a week? Why not take it back now while it's a tiny puppy that will be easily re-homed. IF you keep it for a long time then it's going to be harder to re-home it.

rainbowinthesky · 08/05/2011 08:29

Please take it back to the breeder. You made a silly, silly mistake and you know you're not cut out to have a dog so don't. Far better to take back now rather than several months down the line taking it to a rescue.

shopalot · 08/05/2011 08:30

What breed of puppy did yu get, I just skim read your other post but couldn't work out which breed you went for in the end?

RitaMorgan · 08/05/2011 08:32

If you've only had it a week or so take it back to the breeder now so it can be rehomed while still a puppy.

Original poster
ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 08:36

yorkie/bichon frise cross. \my children are going to be so disappointed in me. How bloody stupid Sad

OP posts:
IngridBergman · 08/05/2011 08:39

Take it back. Will they have it back?

Original poster
ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 09:15

don't know. Maybe I am being hasty - I just feel so trapped. Like I cannot have any free time. Am I being stupid? I have got so stressed that I cannot sleep which is making everything seem magnified Sad

OP posts:
IngridBergman · 08/05/2011 09:21

I would feel like that with a puppy too, even with my limited knowledge I realise it's a huge commitment. This is why if we ever get a dog it'll be an old rescued thing with a limited lifespan...and already trained. I cannot train dogs.

We have cats instead, they need f all training and ignore you all the time. Brilliant.

I don't think you should keep your new puppy. I really don't. There are people who WANT to do this hard work out there! mad bunch

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/05/2011 09:24

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ChippingIn · 08/05/2011 09:25

Even when they are out of the puppy stage they take a lot of time/effort/money. If you are feeling like this now I really can't see it getting any better.

Your children will be disappointed and that's a shame :( but it's the dogs welfare that counts and it wont be a happy dog if you are going to resent all of the time it will take. Once you are past the tiny puppy peeing all over the place you then have all of training/walking etc. You can't do the things you did pre-dog - it's a big change to your lifestyle and it would appear one you are not as willing to make as you thought you were.

You make a mistake, you're human, we all do it. But take this puppy back to the breeder before you make a bigger mistake than can be avoided... would be my advice.

IngridBergman · 08/05/2011 09:26

I had no idea it was that bad. An hour of interaction with a puppy? That's like interacting with a child for an hour!

I can't remember the last time I did that.

Do people really have t do this with every puppy that is ever born? Holy moses.

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/05/2011 09:26

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shopalot · 08/05/2011 09:27

I have three children, a dog and a cat and I can honestly say that each time the family has grown I have felt exactly as you do at some point. I have always been close to giving them ALL back!!!! Talk to the breeders to see if it is an option to return the puppy but give yourself a week or two to decide for certain. Say to them that if you still feel like this in a weeks time would they take it back? Then see how it goes. Perhaps lifting the pressure of deciding will allow you to enjoy the puppy.

However if in your heart of hearts you know you have made a mistake act now. Only you will know. If the breeders won't take it back that is another issue entirely - we may be interested in the puppy... Wink

ChippingIn · 08/05/2011 09:28

make made

I can see what Shiney is saying and I think most people with tiny puppies think 'Oh fuck, what have I done??' at one time or another, but you feel anxious, stressed and resent the puppy already... I think this is more than just the normal 'Oh fuck'.

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/05/2011 09:29

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Ishani · 08/05/2011 09:32

Do you want it ? If you do, it will get easier and be lots of fun and a friend to you both but agree with the others if it's not for you take it back now and ask them to resell it for you and you should get some of your money back.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 08/05/2011 09:35

When we got our (now five yo) dog she was 8 weeks old, and I remember it being the Easter holidays, DH was away, and it rained solidly for several days. We couldn't take her for walks as she hadn't been vaccinated.

I was amazed to realize that the way I felt was very similar to when I had PND with my babies. Awful.

This was the lowest point, and it did get better once we could take her out, and once I started puppy classes and worked on the training a bit.

She always was a beautifully natured dog, just more lively than I expected, plus I hadn't been the one to push for dog ownership, that was DH, which I suppose made me resentful when I found myself staying in with her, or clearing up poo from behind the sofa.

I also remember the trapped feeling, and even now, as an SAHM, I never leave her for more than about 4 hours, but feel bad about that. DH often works at home, so it's only about once a week on average, but it's still a pain in the arse to have that feeling of guilt on leaving the house.

As I said, I didn't really want a dog, so I kind of felt justified in the negative feelings (although I adore her now and am as kind as kind could be to her), but if you're feeling like this and you were the one pushing for a dog I think, as you say, you didn't really think it through and maybe it's best to do as others have said and re-home it.

It will get better, but the situation remains the same; you are responsible for this creature and it never stops having a bearing on what you can or cannot do.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 08/05/2011 09:42

Just read your later posts; of course you have to interact with the damn things!

It's a tiny creature and you've just torn it away from its mother and siblings. it's been used to being in a cuddly bundle, probably in a relatively confined space, and now it's in a totally new, bewildering place, no mum or pals, and expected to - what - sit quietly in the corner while you get on with the hoovering?

If it's waking up at night you could try what we did, as recommended by the mad dog listener. DH spent the night on the sofa with her on his chest, snuffling his ears and generally giving him a disturbed night, but she never cried at night from then on, it seemed to reassure her she was safe.

Original poster
ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 10:48

i know i have to play with her. i am doing. plus taking her to garden to wee/poo (which she won't). i actually feel depressed about what a fuck up i am making. My children will bloody hate me if I get her rehomed - What a bloody mess I have made Sad

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 08/05/2011 10:52

Take the dog back - maybe get your children a cat or a rabbit instead?

colditz · 08/05/2011 10:58

Take her back and she will be rehomed with someone who wants her within a few days. She'll be happy, you'll be happy, and your children will get over it.

This is a tiny creature's life you're talking about, your children will still have their mother.

I would suggest a couple of hamsters instead. Just as cuddlable for children, significantly easier for you.