rehomed our puppy and feel devastated

[ItsMyTurn]

that's it

Wise words Wordwork.

I suppose you're right booboo. I've never tried to rehome a dog, I was just thinking if it was that easy to rehome one, they wouldn't end up being dumped in bags etc would they? I don't know what steps the OP took to rehome their dog, would a rescue not take her ItsMyTurn?
I'm not trying to be silly here, just really don't know very much about what happens when someone wants to hand a dog over to rescue.

FFS anyone would think she had dropped it at the pound, OP it's a dog you've done the right thing now move on and drop the subject.

Hmmm. I am shocked that you are happy to attack someone who clearly was struggling with her puppy and has done her best to give it a good home. Surely however much of an animal lover you are you would not rather see someone suffer than a dog be rehomed? I am shocked at how mean you're being putting the dog's wellbeing over the OP's, when her background is clear and she's had a tough time. I could understand your anger if she had put the dog out on the street but it seems like she has at least made an effort to ensure the animal is well looked after. Shame on you for twisting the knife.

I'm shocked too at the hostile treatment of the OP. Of course there are good general points to be made about the best ways of rehoming pets. The OP acted reasonably, even though it might not have been the best procedure (I'm not even sure that rehoming via a rescue would necessarily be better: I know several people who have had bad experiences with so-called reputable rehoming institutions, and her sister has long-standing knowledge of the people taking the dog on).

What is not reasonable is to jump into thread after thread for yet another chance to jump on a soapbox, without thinking of the individual circumstances of the woman posting for support.

i am sorry you feel devastated op. I hope that you will be able to cope better now. You must feel very guilty, and lots of emotions going round and round.

It seems that you have done your best with the rehoming. It's a hard decision to come to.

I'm with philmassive and Ishani. OP, I'm sorry you've had such a tough time and I'm really sorry about your DH. You've done the right thing with the puppy. Not everyone has such an uncompromising view of the world as Vallhala thank God

Vallhala - good grief, shame on you. Your post is vicious and cruel. The OP's husband died last year, which is why she was struggling with the puppy. You clearly have absolutely no idea of how grief can affect people's ability to cope with things, and if I were you I would be feeling very guilty about the harsh way you have judged the OP. You really need to learn a lot more about human emotions before you judge people on their treatment of dogs. I suggest you have a browse on the Bereavement boards on MN in order to learn a bit of humility and humanity. (And I say this as a dog owner/lover).

'has done her best to give it a good home' - with people she has never met who are already coping with an elderly, sick dog. Yes I can see that is an ideal home

Op - I am sorry about your Husband. I wish you and family well and hope you are able to come to terms with the devastating loss.

Please don't get another pet and make it clear that should this home break down you want the puppy back so that you can find her a space in a decent rescue and ensure the next home is her last one. That is the very least she deserves.

FWIW I don't think you are bad person/dog owner. Naive maybe, but not bad. I can see that you tried to work with the puppy it was just the wrong time. You made a mistake rehoming her without rescue back up. I hope the puppy doesn't end up paying for that mistake.

Agree totally Mrs Moppet.

In defence of Valhalla etc I think the point was that the OP shouldn't have got a puppy in the first place. However, she did, so then what. What should happen to make a bad situation better?

she has done her best. her best.

she has no idea what would have happened to the dog if she'd taken it to a rescue. she has some idea this way thru contacts. Not every rescue is as good as perfect, in where they allow their animals to go. You cannot say every rescue is the very best to take a dog, noone can. Valhalla does good work and hard work, but she has no right to commandeer this woman's post, and go on a guilt tripping session. No right at all.

As an out and out dog lover, I couldn't agree more philmassive. I?ve been shocked by some of the unnecessarily acerbic comments on here. Whilst it's vv sad that the puppy was rehomed, the OP clearly feels terrible about it. The puppy hasn't been kicked out on the street, and the OP's friend has assured her that the puppy is happy. That's all that matters.

Honestly people, how about stopping and thinking before you post such vitriol. Engage your brain and think about how the OP might feel when she reads your comments. Try showing some compassion. Some people on here are seriously lacking in the milk of human kindness.

Oh OP, do take care. You've done the best you could.
Shameful treatment on here.

Have people read OP's previous posts, especially the one where she said she did not want to rehome via a rescue because she had spent a lot of money on the puppy?

What she sold the puppy on?

ofgs she hasn't sold it to the local butcher.

If she spent money on it in the first place then she had good intentions no? She has prob not 'Made' money on it. Stop treating her like a back street breeder.
She realised she made a mistake and it hasn't worked out. She's not been beating the dog or neglecting it.

No, I haven't. I was assuming that it wasn't too easy to get a dog into rescue and that's maybe why she rehomed this way.

She hasn't said she sold the puppy on but so what if she has, they are expensive and why should she lose money for the sake of it ? We have a rescue dog and they were very interested in us making a donation of around the cost of buying the dog elsewhere because they knew they could the dog was/is a commodity.

So she didn't want to give the puppy the best chance of finding a decent, lifelong home with rescue back up who would ensure the ongoing happiness and assist with any training issues and insist on taking the pup back at any point in her life to avoid her going into a pound or on Freecycle, because she wanted to recuop her money? Nice. It's good see the pup's wellbeing was of upmost importance.

Good rescue charge less for a dog than they have spent on food, vaccination, spaying etc.

so sorry to read about your dh.

If you couldn't cope with the dog, then fair enough. It was not what you expected. You are still grieving for your dh by the sounds of it, and it was the wrong time to get one.

As a multiple dog owner and I adore them all, and agree that there are many dogs homed which are not right for them, I feel that at the very least you have tried to get her to a good home. You will feel like this for a while, and it is such a shame you did not persevere through the tough puppy stage and end up with a fantastic family pet.

I feel sorry for everyone and the dog in this case.

OP did not think through the consequences of getting a dog in the first place, then decided to ignore advice and go down the route of the private rehoming with an elderly and sick animal already there. It may or may not have been a sale, for me it is irrelevant, she did not do the right thing for this dog when getting it, then rehoming it.

Then she comes into the "The Doghouse" section and complains about the gilt she feels, I wonder why. I also seems to get the vibe that she maybe getting another dog in time because her children are now upset.

OP, if you want sympathy about your circ, other sections maybe more appropriate (mental health, bereavement, etc). Please, take the sensible advice from other posters here and do not get another dog.

"then rehoming it the way she did.

"Vallhala - good grief, shame on you. Your post is vicious and cruel. The OP's husband died last year, which is why she was struggling with the puppy"

I've been bereaved, I'm the lone mother of two teenagers and have been alone with them since they were babies. I've had cancer, 2 lots of surgery for it, gone through DV, one of my children has SEN, I have NO support whatsoever, no DP, no car, we've all got our lifestories of sadness to tell FFS, the OP doesn't have the monopoly on single motherhood, grief or despair.

I also have 3 large breed dogs...

.... and I would NEVER sell my dogs, NEVER rehome them privately without any rescue back-up should that re-home fail and NEVER rehome them to strangers without a FULL rescue assessment and homecheck.

That doesn't make me a saint, a martyr or superwoman. That makes me RESPONSIBLE.

The OP wouldn't take her puppy to rescue because she spent a lot of money on the pup. Now THAT is shameful, vicious and cruel. .

No, the puppy hasn't been kicked into the streets... but nor did the OP ensure that the next owner won't do that. If they don't want the pup either, be that in 2 weeks or 12 years time, where will she go? Possibly onto the streets because there is no back-up in place as a safety net. There would have been had she gone through rescue.

And, as a rescuer I can tell you here and now that if I can find a reputable rescue to take on a 10 year old unneutered GSD when the average GSD's lifespan is 12 years AND his 8 year old crossbreed friend, as I did this morning, I could bloody well find a place in reputable no-kill rescue for a cute little small breed PUPPY within half an hour.

So, probably, could even the OP, as lacking in knowledge and contacts as she is. The OP didn't even try though.

I stand by every word I said.

I'm now leaving this thread as it's doing my blood pressure no good! I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of ME, it's not that which riles me, I'm bloody furious that there are some on here who sympathise with someone who is willing to act so selfishly and with such ill regard for a dog's welfare.