Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

rehomed our puppy and feel devastated

270 replies

ItsMyTurn · 17/05/2011 07:17

that's it

OP posts:
ItsMyTurn · 18/05/2011 10:35

to all those who have posted with support I thank you. I really thank you. My children have forgiven me and still tell me daily that I am the best Mum in the world. If I had contineud with Tilly they would be saying goodbye to me instead

OP posts:
RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 10:37

oh glad you came back, and that you are ok.

DooinMeCleanin · 18/05/2011 10:40

'dumped dog/puppy farm/neglected are very much in the minority.' the sad thing is they are not in the minority. Thousands upon thousands of dogs are dumped in pounds and rescue each year. That's without counting the ones who are taken straight to the vets to be murdered for no good reason, or the ones who are kept in cruel and abusive homes, forced to fight or breed litter after litter of puppies in a shed in someones yard.

fifi25 · 18/05/2011 10:41

ItMyTurn - Dont beat yourself up about it and im glad your feeling better

MrsRhettButler · 18/05/2011 10:43

It sounds like you have great kids itsmyturn :)

And Im sure they'd rather have you than the puppy Wink

Glad you're ok

RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 10:44

they are in the minority for heavens sake.

Also, if i took on the OP's dog, I suppose you would slag me off for being an unsuitable home too? For the sole reason that the OP may not have met me. not every home is a bad home, in fact quite the contary.

Agree that there are loads who need better homes, but minority all the same.

bemybebe · 18/05/2011 10:44

My dog is a pedigree labrador, we are members of gundog club and do regular training. I will never breed, because it is a damn hard work that pays not so well if done properly.

Responsible breeders tell me that after all the preparation for, meaning also having expensive health checks done, mating, pregnancy, birth and min 7-8 week of proper puppy care and life long dog support (including promise to take the dog back if things go pearshape) they have usually no or very little extra money left over what they make on sales. Health problems can strike at any point of preganancy and birth and puppies can suffer from all sorts when they are little. Responsible breeders will provide adequate vet care, which is not NHS and can be very expensive. Responsible people breed for various reasons and usually it is not for money - that is prerogative of puppy farmers.

Anybody can be a responsible breeder if they are prepared to put enough effort first into research and hard work raising a healthy, well-socialized litter and share responsibility for the future of these dogs. There is not need for certificates and qualification.

If people go into breeding blindly or because their dog is 'cute' and 'would it not be nice to have puppies' or 'we need to pay for the car' - it is dodgy breeding/dealing that contributes to homelessness and suffering.

RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 10:50

You could look at it from another angle. Are responsible breeders, as you say, doing it for the love of it? I wouldn't have thought so. If there was no money to be made, they wouldn't be doing it.

So everyone is bad Grin

DooinMeCleanin · 18/05/2011 10:53

'Are responsible breeders, as you say, doing it for the love of it?' erm, yes actually, they are. They do it for the love of the breed and with a desire to improve upon current lines.

Most responsible breeders only breed a few litters from each bitch, which is why they have waiting lists. Breeding is not their source of income. There is very little money to be made in breeding properly. A good breeder will be lucky if they recoup their own costs. Many breeders are show dog owners/trainers.

A breeder who counts their puppies as their main source of income is what is known as a 'puppy farmer'.

RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 10:54

And if 'responsible breeders' know about all these 'unwanted' dogs in the country, then why are they continuing to breed more?

Responsible breeders are dog lovers yes? And care about the animals future, yes?

So I do declare that anyone who owns dogs are all bloody awful human beings. myself 5 times over!

Vallhala · 18/05/2011 10:57

"Our dog came from a private "breeder" - actually a family we know whose dogs had puppies. There is a world of a difference between that and a backyard puppy farm. "

A puppy farmer is one thing, a backyard breeder another completely. Neither is a good thing. This explains the difference between a backyard, or "local", or "private" breeder, whichever term you care to use.

And shows you something about puppy farms.

Rabbit, if you are speaking of rescue (and, as Dooin says, pounds and wrt healthy dogs taken to vets to be killed by uncaring owners) when you say that dumped dogs are in the minority, you are quite simply WRONG. If that's not what you mean, apologies.

bemybebe · 18/05/2011 11:03

Rabbit your post 10:54 makes no sense. Do you want to say that because so many dogs in rescue need new homes responsible breeders should not breed?

RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 11:03

What do these responsible breeders do when some of the litter don't quite make the grade? Oh yes, they are murdered Hmm

There is no solution that I can think of for any of this. Track down and close puppy farms yes, but apart from that it won't ever stop.

I bought a fantastic pedigree lab from a registered breeder some years back. We went along as a family, fell in love and chose our pup. A few questions were asked about our home. Away we went with the dog. You can never be sure of the home a dog is going to unless you move in with it permanently. I could have been anyone. Even with after checks, you won't know the real story. Does it get walked every day, where does it sleep etc. Could be all bullshit.

ImeldaM · 18/05/2011 11:03

Agree with Saggy 'if it came to a choice between my sanity/the welfare of my family or my dog, I'd make the same choice as the OP'. I think those who have struggled with mental health would all agree.

Was going to comment yesterday that OP may get more sympathetic response in Mental Health, as those who have 'been there' realise how important it is to be well mentally, and understand OPs priorities. Didn't post as couldn't get words right.

Pleased to see that thread has changed slightly for the better & wish OP well.

bemybebe · 18/05/2011 11:12

Rabbit did you discuss health checks? Did you visit the breeder only once or several times. The sole fact that you made contact and met once to choose your pup meant that the breeder probably did not have an extensive waiting list. Breeders often do have a line of people even before their bitch is mated. They talk on the phone and ask to meet in person. Some never let their dogs go abroad or ask for promise to spay/neuter to prevent further breeding. Some will and do take their puppies when adults and develop health problems and their owners do not want to/can care for them.

I do so wish you could meet some breeding people with genuine interest in dogs and their welfare. Your eyes would be open as to how it should be done.

bemybebe · 18/05/2011 11:15

"Some will and do take their puppies when adults if these dogs develop health problems and their owners do not want to/can care for them.

Sorry I am in a hurry and make mistakes...

bemybebe · 18/05/2011 11:18

Btw, most of puppies "don't make grade" whether you are talking about showing or working. These puppies go to pet homes, which make 90% of breeders bookings (i believe). If a puppy cannot be places quickly, it stays with the breeder until it is found or forever. IF we are talking about the responsible folk. That is why it is so expensive to breed properly...

TorcherQueenie · 18/05/2011 11:20

OP You've done the right thing don't doubt that, Rescues can be absolutly awful same as private homes there are no guarntees in life. My Charlie JRT came from a private home/Rescue, We took him in at 7 years old hes still with us he wouldn't go anywhere we all love and adore him and wouldn't enjoy life half as much without him.

Hes a huge treasure in our life same as it would of been had he came from a rescue. No we weren't inspected by the owner he merely took my DH's grandads word that Charlie would be loved and he very much is.

If we hadn't taken him he would of been PTS because the rescues wouldn't take him or would have him PTS after a week the lovely older gentleman we got him from had been searching for a home for 3 months for him in a rescue with no joy.

DooinMeCleanin · 18/05/2011 11:26

A rescue which puts to sleep after one week, is a council pound. These are entirely different to rescues. They are in it for the profit. A rescue is a non profit organisation.

Of course there are bad rescues. The op was offered help with finding a good rescue who would keep the puppy until it found a good home regardless of whether that took a month or several years.

My Whippet came from a "private rescue" as you say. She is very, very well cared for and loved. But for all her ex-owner knows she could now be locked in my shed being forced to breed. Sighthounds are in demand around here. I could make a fortune off her.

DooinMeCleanin · 18/05/2011 11:31

Oh and I was irresponsible in taking her. I will hold my hands up and admit that. She could have had any manner of health problems. I took her with the intention of finding a rescue for her. Dd1 and DH fell in love with her. 10 months later and many, many offers of very good homes she is still here.

I don't have the moral dilemma of knowing I funded yet more BYB as I did not pay for her. I gave two options - drown the pup as you say you are going to and I will report you to the police, or, give her to me for free and I will find her a good home. Thankfully they chose the latter option.

Wordwork · 18/05/2011 11:32

I don't think I would start off from a position of trust for any category of source for a dog: showbreeder, casual hobby breeder, rescue centre. Breeding for show is a suspect activity to me: showing is a beauty contest and even the very best breeders are just working to minimise the bad effects of close-breeding in earlier generations.

And rescue centres vary from excellent to those that are run by deluded people or people on a power kick.

Every potential provider of a dog needs to be treated sceptically and assessed on its individual merits.

RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 11:33

bemy - no we did not discuss health checks. I was given the dog, the kc reg stuff, certificate with 5 lines of breeding history (not sure what you call it). We phoned, and went the same day, and brought the dog home with us. She said if we have any problems whatsoever to call her and she would take him back. That was it. Never heard or contacted her again.

She is alledgedly a responsible, well respected local breeder and came highly recommended as a registered working dog breeder.

So, what I am trying to say is, none of us truly know whether a home for a dog is good enough. Obviously in this case he went to the best home ever, and this woman never cam to check. Just like the OP's dog, may well be in absolutely the most wonderful loving forever home. Just because the OP never met her but was given the information on good authority.

As a further argument regarding rescue. I do find that they can put people off with the 'requirements'. We have looked in the past, but with children under the age of 5 at the time, it was an absolute no no. Not for dogs or cats. How rdiiculous is that. As a family the children and dogs could have grown up together in a fantastic home, but because of their age we were declined.

Alot could be done to improve this side of things, as I feel this is why people don't bother going to rescue.

Vallhala · 18/05/2011 11:35

Torcher, rescue places are indeed hard to find. I'm currently seeking two for a pair of Staffies (I'm a network rescuer and these are in the pound, I'm not seeking to get rid of my own dogs!). For this breed the struggle is immense and I have little doubt that I will be up until the early hours over the next couple of days whilst I go through my rescue and AR contact list and beyond. However, the dog in question is not a SBT, she's a Yorkie X Bichon PUP and as such, as I said upthread, I and anyone like me could have found her a reputable no kill rescue or fosterer with rescue back-up in less than half an hour (with my hands tied behind my back). The OP herself wouldn't have found it much more difficult.

Yes, rescue can be awful and those of us who aren't strive to help the genuine but misguided bad ones and expose and close down the hopeless. These are in a minority and it is the responsibility of the owner to ensure that the rescue into which he places his unwanted dog is reputable.

The best way to do that? Ask another half-dozen independent rescues! One or two might be prejudiced as like all organisations there is in-fighting and bitching (excuse the pun) but the majority view helps. Go, for example, to the owners of BigGSD rescue or DogPages or of LurcherLink and ask their advice. See whether the rescue you select is a member of any breed forum and how/if they are respected and viewed there.

WRT Charlie, who sounds a sweetie, you say that "the rescues wouldn't take him or would have him put to sleep after a week. That sounds to me like the practice of a pound far more than rescue. The two are frequently confused and the former gives the latter bad name. The very vast majority of pounds rehome without any checks on the owner and in Law a pound dog, if a stray, has just 7 days to live before he can (and may well be) killed, a dog surrendered by his owner may be killed by the pound immediately.

Many rescues - though sadly by faar not all - have a "no kill" policy unless the dog is suffering beyond help.

Vallhala · 18/05/2011 11:43

Rabbit - the big rescues such as RSPCA have rules set in stone. Many of the smaller ones don't and will work on a case by case basis wrt adopting out to those with DC. It just may take a bit of legwork to find such a rescue and you might have to widen your net.

For example, the one I volunteer for hands-on will adopt out to those with DC depending on the nature of dog, child and parents. Those I know of who DON'T adopt to those with DC have usually had so much heartache having done so in the past that I can't say I blame them. They often tell me of tales of dogs coming back because - and I shit you not - the dog won't let DC climb on him, the dog walks away from the DC, the dog growled when DC (deliberately) hit him with a heavy toy, the dog's shedding fur and it gets all over DC, the dog licks DCs face....

I Kid You Not. These are ALL reasons which have been given to rescues I personally know.

RabbitFood · 18/05/2011 11:48

I can quite believe that valhalla, it just seems a shame. We already had animals, we are full of bleedin animals here and have the space for them. I think iirc that one of the local rescues was no children under 10. Then there is the 'not with males' 'not with other cats' not with other dogs' not if owners are away for more than 4 hours at a time. Some points, yes i can see, but when you read the whole lot you do tend to think 'fuck me do you want to find a home for this animal or not' Hmm

For instance, homes become very limited if they are not allowed to be in one with an owner out of the house for more than 4 hours. Most people work. All a bit ott.