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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

rehomed our puppy and feel devastated

270 replies

ItsMyTurn · 17/05/2011 07:17

that's it

OP posts:
ComeWhineWithMe · 17/05/2011 19:34

Joins cheer squad

NettoSuperstar · 17/05/2011 19:39

Shiney, if I told you I'd have to kill youGrin

Nah, I'd just rather not say as I'd rather not have people from here turning up there, and I got the advice I needed to ensure that my Dad could keep his dog and they are both happy.

The dog is mainly happy in the garden these days anyway, he's 12 and only has one eye.
He is my Dad's companion, but the dog would be lost without my Dad too.

Ishani · 17/05/2011 19:40

Bravo, about bloody time people called Val on her behavior, at the end if the day dogs are important to her but people come first and she's been downright horrible to more than owner/parent of a bitten frightened child/and now an ex owner.
My dog is a pet nothing more and most rational people I know view them in the same way.

belledechocchipcookie · 17/05/2011 19:42

My heart goes out to you ItsMyTurn I think that you've absolutely done the right thing, so many people just abandon their pets or leave them to die. It must have been so difficult for you.

I am truly horrified at the lack of understanding that some mumsnetters have shown on this thread. What right do you have to give a grieving woman so much sh!t? You ought to be ashamed. I find your comments disgraceful. I just hope someone shows you more compassion then you have shown the OP so you can see how you should behave.

WorzselMaamage · 17/05/2011 19:47

Good God.

You're right rinders. it's like a broken record.

BitOfFun · 17/05/2011 19:54

There's nothing to be gained from turning this into Valhalla-bashing. Lots of people were a bit brusque. I don't think it does any harm reminding people sometimes to think before they open their gob though, if somebody is clearly struggling.

NettoSuperstar · 17/05/2011 19:59

Oh c'mon, Val does this over and over. She's not the only one no, but even the threads she starts can be quite aggressive in their nature.
The latest one has a nice pointed line in itHmm

I don't doubt the work she does is fabulous, but when she's turning people off asking her for advice, then surely there's a lesson in there?

RabbitFood · 17/05/2011 20:01

yes, i got the 'pointed' line in the latest thread too.

BitOfFun · 17/05/2011 20:03

Well has anybody ever pointed out a better way to get the same point across? I'm just thinking that if you back somebody into a corner, they don't tend to listen, and just become more entrenched.

Maybe there us room for discussion about how to put across good animal welfare advice without being cuntishly insensitive to people with serious problems?

WorzselMaamage · 17/05/2011 20:04

I am amazed anyone asks for advise in the doghouse anymore.. it's like running the gauntlet.

Unless your face fits and you've managed your dog ownership by the rules laid out in Vals Bible then you're fucked, basicially. you can expect to be called names and made to feel like shit.

ComeWhineWithMe · 17/05/2011 20:05

And it is all quite aggressive, just last week one of the doghouse groupies posted on a thread about animal rehoming "I'm telling Val on you she'll sort you out" it is getting out of hand nobody wants to post about problems they have for fear of a bollocking, most of us love our pets but because sometimes we might struggle we don't get advice we get flamed.

RumourOfAHurricane · 17/05/2011 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MmeLindor. · 17/05/2011 20:13

I was not Val bashing. I value her advise.

But at the same time, Inthedoghouse has become very one-sided recently. Anyone posting for advice on how to find a puppy is made to feel guilty for not looking for a rescue dog. I am vehemently against puppy farming, but there are reputable breeders, and there are people who have a dog who has puppies. And these dogs need homes too.

Perhaps we should all take a deep breath and try to remember that MN is supposed to be a site where people can get advice without being berated for their choices, and that they can get a range of advice, not just one voice.

RabbitFood · 17/05/2011 20:16

actually there is a thread on there at the moment. someone asking if they should/could have a puppy from a friend and the poor poster seemed that she had to clear it with the 'big cheese' first., who i believe advised her to get all the puppies taken to the rescue centre, and then get the puppy from there! wtf?

WorzselMaamage · 17/05/2011 20:16

Oh I couldn't care less either. There are obsessives in ever walk of life and they are usually best ignored, they do their cause more harm than good generally, because of their rudeness.

It's absolutely no wonder dogs get dumped on the streets if dog owners get verbally lambasted by agressive rescuers when they try to rehome a pet they cannot cope with.

We rehomed our lab when our DS was in NICU. We did it privately so we wouldn't have to come across people looking down their nose at us about it. it was the only decision we could make. He's happy, we are happy, whats not to like ?

I feel really sorry for the OP on this post, really sorry.

RabbitFood · 17/05/2011 20:17

this one

minimu1 · 17/05/2011 20:18

ItsMyTurn I have pm'd you but just to say publicly that there are times when it is right to rehome dogs. Dogs are resilient creatures and if their basic needs are met will do fine. You have a responsibility to your family and had to make a difficult decision. You did what you thought was best for Tilly and for that you must be commended.

Val is not the whole of the doghouse and you will get different opinions from different people you ask on here. My whole working life is spent educating people about living with dogs please do continue to ask for advice many doghousers are qualified and experienced to help. I should be constantly asking for advice in good housekeeping and style and beauty Grin

Wordwork · 17/05/2011 20:19

Just wanted to repeat my support for Itsmyturn and add my best wishes, because I think she has received such totally unjustified attacks on this thread.

I too reported the most hostile reaction to the OP. It always depresses me how this topic has, in the last year or so, been the location of some awful holier-than-thou inflexible advice (amongst lots and lots of good advice also) from people who seem to think that any disagreement with them whatsoever equates with not caring about dogs.

I hope you can put all this behind you and feel relief at having sensibly rehomed your dog.

Folk · 17/05/2011 20:20

For years Mn has been, in the main - anti - dog.

When i joined in 2007 it was one of the things that almost made me leave. I don't know if others can remember how bad it got before 'the doghouse' and posters like Valhalla started to turn things around. I've had many an argument in the past with not just those who were scared or ambivalent but true dog haters - and this then went on to dog owners / lovers being somehow wrong. It used to be terrible and in no way reflected myself or any of the people i knew where i lived (although to be fair where i live you are unusual if you own 'just the one' dog).

My point is really is that everything goes round in circles here and i for one am very glad to have Val and her groupies here sticking up for 'dogkind' - because, at the end of the day, who the bloody else is going to?

cloudydays · 17/05/2011 20:22

Valhalla has reminded me why I sometimes prefer the company of dogs to that of humans.

And not because she's such a great advocate for dogs.

RumourOfAHurricane · 17/05/2011 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NettoSuperstar · 17/05/2011 20:25

It's the likes of this thread that made me say that the tone of her threads are aggressive.

Many people don't know about rescue dogs, and are worried, but that would surely put them off?

Some informative posts could help, but shouting bollocks?

Vallhala · 17/05/2011 20:28

"the poor poster seemed that she had to clear it with the 'big cheese' first., who i believe advised her to get all the puppies taken to the rescue centre, and then get the puppy from there! wtf?"

Behave yourself! I said no such thing! I advised the OP to look to a rescue and named one which often has puppies rather than buy/take on from a backyard "casual" breeder, not JUST on ethical grounds but so that she has a dog which is assessed AND has back up so she doesn't end up in a position similar to the OP with her breeder. I suggested that she persuade the owner to rehome through rescue - AT NO POINT did I suggest that she secured rescue for the litter and then applied for one of the pups.... not that this is entirely a bad idea mind, as it would safeguard OP and dog concerned. But, regardless, I DIDN'T SAY IT. I don't care if you want to slate me but please stick to the facts and don't fabricate or embellish. Besides, I'm no big cheese and no-one needs to clear anything with me before acting, don't be so foolish.

Oddly, Netto, I think that Shiney might agree with me that we differ on her choice of place to obtain a dog. I don't think I've ever tried to offend her though. Likewise when her son was bitten (by someone else's dog) I think Shiney might vouch for the fact that I was sympathetic, polite, considerate and (tried my best to be) helpful and informative.

This isn't about grieving widow vs dog. In fact, I think that despite the lengthy previous thread on Pets that information on the OPs life only came to light after I'd posted my initial annoyance at her expressions of pity for herself but not the dog she had given/sold to a stranger without adequate back-up (though may be mistaken here but I don't believe it was mentioned). It is however not relevant to the matter to which I was referring. This is about an irresponsible decision for which the OP has made excuses and become defensively abusive rather than considering what was being said and not just by me and conceeding tha she has put the dog at some risk by rehoming privately and that she made a very ill-informed decision in buying from a backstreet breeder in the first place. It wasn't just me who was told to shove my opinions up my arse by the OP.

Where the human merits sympathy from me, they get it. Where I need to defend them in preference to the dog, I do it. Where I can use my experience to advise on such situations, I try. As my posts on Shiney's son's thread will demonstrate.

Where there is selfishness and irresponsibility towards an animal, I will speak out upon that.

As I have here.

minimu1 · 17/05/2011 20:29

Re other thread there are great advantages of getting a dog from a good rescue.

You will be matched with a dog that is right for your circumstances
You will have support from the rescue (some even board them when you go away)
You will be able to see the dogs behaviour in advance of rehoming
You will know of any health issues before rehoming
A dog that may die will be given a home

Some people do have the wrong impression about rescue dogs and do need to be educated that rescue dogs are fab Smile

Also there are a lot of dimwits who do rehome for ridiculous reasons and I guess that can wear down people who hear these excuses day in and day out.

I don't think it needs to be a preference between dogs and people we need to be able to jog along fine together

thebestisyettocome · 17/05/2011 20:31

Folk.

I consider myself to be pro-dog. I ADORE my dog and think I am a good owner and yet (under another name) I've been slated on here. I think my crime was not choosing a rescue sbt as my dog. I've nothing against rescue sbt and in fact had I not moved house when I did I am certain I'd have one now because my local boarding kennels were looking to rehome a number of pups that had been confiscated in a police raid. As things stand however< i have a different dog and that will never be acceptable to some people.