I assumed there were quiet non-binary people living quiet normal lives. I hope there are anyway.
Of course there are. They are called pretty much everyone on earth because while we all have a biological sex, absolutely nobody adheres to every single stereotype or genuine norm of their sex and rejects every stereotype of the opposite sex. Pretty much every single person who has ever lived has been gender non binary. However if someone takes this perfectly normal aspect of their personality, assumes it makes them a super special someone else and by default creates a narrative that means everyone else is binary. Then, realistically, that person is displaying narcissistic traits.
They are literally creating a situation that puts everyone else in a box they don't actually fit in and claiming they are super special for not being in that box. And everyone in that box needs to respect their specialness or it's invalidating. While they show no regard for the fact that what they are doing is utterly invalidating everyone else's identity. And merrily shitting on all of the work that women (and men) have been doing for generations to free people of social, sex based limitations. You simply can't identify as non-binary and go live your normal quiet life because the very act of placing a special identity on normal traits, is attention seeking.
There are however, very gender non-conforming people living normal quiet lives. There are women who dress like Che, never wear make-up, work as a mechanic, play darts and football in their spare time. There are men with long hair, who have a skin care routine and wear make up, work in fashion and enjoy baking as a hobby. But they identify as the men and women they are. And it's cool people like this, who are just happy to go about their lives, liking what they like and not making a fuss about it, who are the ones who will end up being hurt by this nonsense. I've already read plenty of comments on mumsnet and other sites from women who are being asked what their pronouns are by people who have been indoctrinated to think they are being polite, when they are actually just being hurtful.