Masterchef 5...Nonna's pasta.... Ballontine......and John's Bon Marche trousers!!

[Pebbledashery]

Here we go chuffians

'Keep an eye on the time, but step it up a gear'

Ie faster bitch, FASTER

God, that mandolin! 😱😱😱😱

This chef is annoying me

I can't get Tom Daley out my head now

I've had them once, they were ok? Would like to try them again though.

I'd be raging if someone decided to explain the concept of multi-tasking to me like he did to Laura just then.

@GrouchyKiwi me too. Patronising twat.

Is that a mn magic chicken?

I'm sure this round comes from a long-forgotten production meeting where it was decided that the 'guiding principles' of the programme were aligned with finding a winner who would go on to work in a professional kitchen in the future.

I don’t like this chef, if he didn’t want to be nice to people in his kitchen he shouldn’t have agreed to have them in.

I feel like that pigeon right now, baby's head is down lol.

@RomainingCalm

I'm sure this round comes from a long-forgotten production meeting where it was decided that the 'guiding principles' of the programme were aligned with finding a winner who would go on to work in a professional kitchen in the future.

Or the producers fancied eating in top gaffs. In fact - their mates top gaffs.

This bloke is beyond the realms of snobbery multipled by wankery with the square route of tosser.

Can't believe he's just walked past going 'cleaning... cleaning... cleaning'. Tossed.

At least he’s dishing out a bit of praise as well

I once paid a frickin fortune for a bag of lovely king fresh king scallops. They're in the pan, me carefully timing X mins pers side... husband comes in, looks at the pan, casually picks it up and starts tossing the fucking things like he's Jamie fecking Oliver

Whack him with the ladle, Laura!

@Ellenanora7 I'll try them eventually

You could be right Romaine, I'm losing interest in it now I know no one is going home

Please can this chef stop saying yeah, it's irritating the crap out of me, yeah

@GillBungalow

I once paid a frickin fortune for a bag of lovely king fresh king scallops. They're in the pan, me carefully timing X mins pers side... husband comes in, looks at the pan, casually picks it up and starts tossing the fucking things like he's Jamie fecking Oliver

Did you shove a knife in his chest?

Alexina is rocking this round so far

John and Gregg must be loving all the free meals in their rotund bellies.

Ooh, John’s washed his hair specially for dinner

I ordered pigeon in quite an expensive restaurant once and it was so rare I just couldn't eat it. I mean bloody.

We used to have wood-pigeon at home sometimes because my mum's friend lived further out in the country and they used to get game. I did really like it but that's because my mum cooked it properly, ie not horribly rare.