4th thread MAFS AUS - more production than 20 prize laying chooks - feathers meets straw connection

[SheldonesqueIsUnwell]

There ye are 🐓 🐓

@Trunkysbun

Whoever read that Mark doesn't want to shag Ning now as he knows it's going nowhere has hit the nail on the head I reckon. Can you imagine the outrage if he shags hers and then dumps her at the final hurdle? He'd be hung, drawn and quartered!!

Absolutely. Also from his body language the previous night in the committment room (closed as f) I'd have been really surprised/angry if he had said to Ning yeah let's go for it, and it would certainly have been for the wrong reasons. I think Mark has been pretty solid through this ixperiment in fairness especially given how awful Ning was at the wedding.

Mark seems a really decent guy, who's had his work cut out with Ning. Imagine if it was the other way round, and he'd been awful to her throughout, then at the last minute was trying to 'get intimate' with her just because everyone else is. He'd be slated!

Mark has aged so much in 2 months. We noticed that he never seems to finish the food thats put in front of him.

I think Marfa has been watching KUWTK and listening far too much to how KK sounds and trying to emulate her.

Mark is so lovely, and has taken so much shit from Ning I'm surprised he is single, he is certainly not just there to get his leg over like Daaaan and has persevered longer than anyone else would. His best man obviously knows he's worth a lot more than Ning and her walls and feels.

I love Mike, him and Heidi are just absolute opposites in personality though and I'm surprised it's lasted this long, they must be having fantastic sex 😁 even if Mike and Jess had talked about Heidi and Mikes relationship, then it would have been none of Heidi's business anyway, the advice is supposed to be for you, not for you to tell your partner so that she can then analyse it. Heidi is an absolute over thinker and when Cam said Mike doesn't hear you, I thought oh Christ no, don't tell her that, she'll just think she needs to talk more 😳

I'm sure this is all totally staged. Especially Sam and Ines. I just didn't find any of their encounters in the least bit convincing. They smooched like they were in a school play. And when he threw her on the bed I could just imagine the Director saying 'right, let's try something different ... and, action!'

Sam and Ines was totally staged, full stop. I'm not sure Sam even liked Ines at all, he might have been flattered at first, but it looked like they were told to be together, she was desperately trying to think of stuff to say to him and he was just inwardly laughing at the shit she was coming out with.

I think Jess does genuinely fancy Dan, god knows why, he has dead eyes and he can't believe his luck that he's going to get his leg over again. Urgh he gives me the creeps, type of guy who if he was a cab driver I would not get in that cab.

I think Marfa has been watching KUWTK and listening far too much to how KK sounds and trying to emulate her.
Definitely. I think she thinks she is KK.

The sleazy smile of Dan when he was getting into bed with Jess - yuck. Earlier he said he didn't want to rush into having sex. His idea of waiting is one night. He was the same with Tamara.

@JaneJeffer

The sleazy smile of Dan when he was getting into bed with Jess - yuck. Earlier he said he didn't want to rush into having sex. His idea of waiting is one night. He was the same with Tamara.

It seemed very sleazy. Those roses looked past their date as well!

Playing catchyuppy because I’m not managing keepyuppies.

Marfa and Mattymattymanbun. Like just put him in a gimp (too old to know what a simp is) mask, Chuck some hippens on him and a lead on him and be done with it Marf. Melbourne may as well be Mars.

Ning and Mark. Ning is a sap. Believing others over Mark. So she is checking out. Typisque. Good on Mark for keeping with it.

Cam and Jules. As exciting as cottage cheese.

Heidi and Mike. I had to sit down. Heidi might be a bit of hard work but I’m ruddy glad the ixperts directed it at Mike too for once. I think Mike would be in InstaJ quicker than I retract my hand from a hot burny thing.

I have a feeling no one has ever dumped Mike. (Cam and Jules grinning like loons though 🤨)

Just breathing my pigsaaaarse. That was a puff of ‘it ain’t me that needs to work on us missy’...

Mick and the troutbotherer

Grade A cahnt. For clarification I’m meaning that clarty croup faced midden. And her little henchwoman does not get to dictate how someone else feels. Not when she is as unfeeling as the end of her ruddy nose.

Jess’s heart ain’t pure and it ain’t golden. It is shrivelled like a bastard prune and blacker than coal.

And Dan is the biggest fanny ever. What a mealiemouthed pair of flaps they both are.

Raging at them hurting Mick. And she smirked all through. Even when he cried.

I’m not a violent person but I could have slapped that grin off her face if I’d have been there.

And feck you Cam and Jules. Endorsing it by accepting it. Fuck that. He didn’t do it with grace or honour. Nor did she. So you shouldn’t accept it as that was your criteria.

Taaaaaam and Daaaaan.

One of the pair is not like the other. One of this pair is not the same. (thank you Sesame Street)

One has integrity and one is led by little daaaaaan. Sorry my hoop.

And Marfa smugging it. Another cahnt. As fake as her coupon.

Fuming.

But Mike reacted with grace and honour.

And the shame to take?

Ixperts/producers.

They are not in love. It is lust. If they are still together now I’ll eat my bastard legs. But go you. Glorify cheating. Glorify upsetting people. Glorify acceptance of pish behaviour.

SHAME ON YOU. SHAME. BIG SHAME ON YOU POB POSSE FOR ACTING LIKE THIS IS OK. AND THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE ACTUAL DECISIONS? GET BENT. On the same page? Yeah ye are. The same shite smeared one.

#notixpertsbutpussssaaaaaays
#raging
#waytooinvestedasIhavenolife
#ImaybeacahntbutIamnotinthatleague

Just watched last night’s. Michael really did do lovely things but she is so not worthy. I’m surprised he can’t see that as he seems like he has a good heart and family.
Jess and Dan I am not interested in.
Ning and Mark- how awkward are they???? Oh god if they can’t or don’t want to get it together in smart apartment in Sydney or a gorgeous tree house, they’re just not that into each other.

Mark has aged so much in 2 months. We noticed that he never seems to finish the food thats put in front of him.

I liked Mark's friend, who asked: ' Why has Mark got so much grey hair now, Ning?'

@SheldonesqueIsUnwell . Wholeheartedly agree

@SheldonesqueIsUnwell do you feel better now! 😂 Breathe please!
You summed it up perfectly and I could actually feel your rage!

@SheldonesqueIsUnwell I think I'm in love with you after that epic, and accurate, summarisation

I think both Jules and Martha tell their husbands what to think. For example how Cam changed his mind about Jess and dan staying on the show. Martha doesn't even hide it well. She tells her husband to his face what he should think and say!

Agree with others, Ning was so horrible that I think Marks patience has finally ran out, just couldn’t take to Ning you can be cautious without being nasty and she thinks she’s so funny with the “ feels” etc but his friend could see through her.
Think Heidi just wanted to see if Mark was really thinking about how to sort their relationship rather than taking advice from Jess who is someone you just wouldn’t listen to for any advice! But he just wanted to have a go and didn’t consider he has faults and needs to give and take much more. I think he’s the kind of man as long as Heidi was fawning on him he’s good but don’t dare argue with him, as she says he’s always right.

Laughing my pigsaaaaarse off at InstaJ saying that Mike came out with pretty nasty truths 😂. Trout pout included withe the arsehole behaviour then? Truths. Biting you on your pigsaaaaaarse missy. Hard.
Cant believe Mike went softly softly on her. Unless he is hoping to be lovegame number2.

I wish insta would just own it re the shitstirring between Ning and Mark.

Good of her to notice how Mike slithers his way out of things with words. Takes one to know one. And boy does she know.

Insta acting like a coy yet giddy Scarlett o hara wasn’t washing. Loved the popping cork faces. Bet they look the same when he is as quick as popping his cork.

And Buffalo Billy will not be skinning Dan for a new wedding suit anytime soon. Not with them tattoos.

Were Marfa and Dan drinking Irn Bru?

Jules and Mark. And he has played the ‘tired’ card? Thinking neither has the feels. There. I used it. I’ll take that shame. Michael was kind with Ning.

I do fear that it will be an anticlimax if they do the deed. It’ll be like eating an apple. Fills the hole but it doesn’t quite hit the spot of you’d prefer a plate of chips.

Cam would sugar coat everything to anyone.

When Mike went back to Heidi she had such a sour look on her face. She was right in that he didn’t get any tips. I think Mike inspected her tips and insta inspected his tip with a few snakey downward glances. But no Heidi tips. Who is channelling Crystaltips.

Marfa is a whine chamber. Like an echo chamber but shiny.

Laughing at Pob saying they couldn’t intervene with daaaaan and insta because it wasn’t their place to influence the process. Nah blud. Your influence was to match them right in the first place you pobbynibknob.

Marfa friend saying I miss your face. Melt a yoghurt pot under the grill then. Tadaaaaaaaa.

(I’ve got a misshapen face and am uglier than a pigsaaaarse before anyone starts )

I’d love that tree house. With Mick.

Ning says time to get nekkid. Get ye out of wet clothes. And seal up my hoohaaa before you get little mark in it.

Her leave cockblocked him? Hmmm. Excuses excuses.

And forgive and old gimmer. What is the white spunky stuff on ning’s lashes? Are silkworms knitting there?

I bet they were fully dressed under them bubbles...

Did Ning call him frigid?

Maria’s bombshell was not one.

I’d have been more shell shocked at her admitting that she’d forgotten to bleach her hoop.

I loved mattymattmanbun’s gifts and declarations of lurve.

Noted she chose to show her lurve with precisely feckall.

And the cameras there for sexy time. Pull the other one.

And at least one of them got pulled. Hard. Judging by Dan’s smug grin.

Eeeeew.

NOW I’m breathing

Not a shiny echo chamber.

Whiny. You get my drift.

It’s hard typing with an angry texting thumb.

That's some righteous rage, Sheldon!

I agree that Mark is doing the right thing by not getting Untimate, but I wonder if some tiny part of him is enjoying the whole "No, you had your chance and you missed it". I wouldn't blame him, given her attitude for so long.

I feel liberated biblio

Now laughing at Mark wangling his carrot winky at Ning saying ner ner de ner ner....

They should have you on gogglebox @SheldonesqueIsUnwell!

Hardly flower. I have an undelightful way with words. I also have a face for radio runningpink

And a body that looks as though it was pinned down by giant haystacks back in the day...

Fucking Hell.

I've only just seen Daaan's tattoo.