Sixy Tixting and Why I'm Still Single at Fifty: Rancid Trolls and Crappy Rapping, Skateboarding Sex Pests and Boys' Night Banter - How They Revived the Badger Badges Industry Worldwide . . .

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

This is, obviously, the proposed title for my thesis in support of my Diploma in Expertness . . .

[Secretest most secret PM to Schadenfreude - we have struck TV Gold! Keep it on the down-low until Toothbrush is signed up, we’ll find her a prince (but only after the audience has seen her demonstrating the patience of a saint and making her look angelic in comparison to match number one). If we plan it right we can script a walk out by the awful significant others to coincide with an “accidental” bringing together of the our power-couple. It will be seamless and beautiful and bafta-winning!

Very excited about the dog angle, time team could work but do we want to appeal to even pseudo-intellectuals? We can brainstorm it.]

@NowYouListenToMeFella

I have many many red lipsticks so should have no issues in passing selection for the Charlene fab club.

At the risk of being sent to Coventry Simon just doesn't do it for me. Verdita knock yourself out.

Schafer and Rinder you need to ruin Ryan's current relationship so I can have him please and thanks. Also I can't wait to see what ye come up with for your season of MAFS

Consider it done Ryan is as good as yours

@NowYouListenToMeFella

I have many many red lipsticks so should have no issues in passing selection for the Charlene fab club.

At the risk of being sent to Coventry Simon just doesn't do it for me. Verdita knock yourself out.

Schafer and Rinder you need to ruin Ryan's current relationship so I can have him please and thanks. Also I can't wait to see what ye come up with for your season of MAFS

That’s a bit harsh - NowYouListenToMeFella - this is a local thread for local people .

What do you mean by , “Verdita knock yourself out ?” How unkind .

I was merely staking a claim to Simon before anyone else muscled in .

Asking Schaden and Rinder to RUIN Ryan’s current relationship so that YOU can have him is beyond the pale .

(Ruffles feathers like a Brahma hen/Hyacinth Bucket and struts off in search of Schaden and Rinder to complain )

"Personal arguments and opinions are parked here at the owner's risk. Management accepts no responsibility for any contrary opinions or arguments, unsubstantiated facts, or for any damage to ego."

Signed

The Mangement (SchadenRinder Enterprises Ltd PLC and Bar)

Forgive me everyone, I have sinned, I looked up all the contestants on Instagram 🙈

@Verdita73
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That’s a bit harsh - NowYouListenToMeFella - this is a local thread for local people .*

Not really sure what you mean by that.
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What do you mean by , “Verdita knock yourself out ?” How unkind* .

Knock yourself out means go ahead where I come from.

Backs away from thread slowly

[secrect PM to Schadenfreude - I’m taking notes of the likely pairings we could make to create friction. Pay close attention to all minor thread spats.

I’m already thinking we could easily cut together @NowYouListenToMeFella telling @Verdita73 to knock herself out, with Verdita saying “Ignore any oxy morons” earlier to suggest a proper fight.]

Let’s all try to get along shall we?

[quote NowYouListenToMeFella]@Verdita73
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That’s a bit harsh - NowYouListenToMeFella - this is a local thread for local people .*

Not really sure what you mean by that.
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What do you mean by , “Verdita knock yourself out ?” How unkind* .

Knock yourself out means go ahead where I come from. [/quote]
I do apologise FELLA - my kind of humour doesn’t always translate on the written page ( nor in speech most of the time )

The “local “ bit referred to the “knock yourself out” which means just that - where I come from . I guessed you must be from a different area , hence the mock outrage . Please don’t retreat from the thread on my account .

Please don’t tell Schaden and Rider that I’ve upset you . They may banish me to Gransnet for a period of rehabilitation.

I also apologise if you thought I was saying to actually knock yourself out. I'm not that unkind I think and hope anyway.

Completely confusion about the local reference. I'm across the pond and was like is this a UK thread only. Paranoia at is finest.

Rinder your editing vision sounds like you would make fantastic tv. Verdita and I would look like terrible people.

@NowYouListenToMeFella

I also apologise if you thought I was saying to actually knock yourself out. I'm not that unkind I think and hope anyway.

Completely confusion about the local reference. I'm across the pond and was like is this a UK thread only. Paranoia at is finest.

Rinder your editing vision sounds like you would make fantastic tv. Verdita and I would look like terrible people.

Thanks FELLA !

I certainly didn’t think you were being rude - it was all written in “mock outrage” .

It’s great to hear you’re from “across the pond” . I have a close American friend and we fall around laughing at our differences in humour and sayings which one or other of us has perceived as being rude .

We had a TV programme called “The League of Gentlemen “ which was a dark , surreal comedy about the lives of strange inhabitants in a small fictional town . Two of whom ran a “local shop for local people” . Assuming you were in the UK I guessed you’d understand the reference .

Anyway , I’m glad we’ve got that sorted . I agree that we’d make an excellent , terrible Anglo/American couple - we could really play to the gallery . Over to you Rinder .

💋 to NowYouListenToMeFella

Anyway , I’m glad we’ve got that sorted . I agree that we’d make an excellent , terrible Anglo/American couple - we could really play to the gallery . Over to you Rinder

That won’t work AT ALL if you’re both going to be all reasonable and apologise to each other! I guess I could cut those bits and spend a lot of time asking you, “So, what would you say to your spouse if they had just broken your phone, laughed and told you it was your fault? You know, hypothetically? If there were no repercussions?”

That might give us some workable footage

Not that far across the pond Verdita. Your nearest neighbour before America. A short hop really.

Rinder I will do anything for my 15 minutes of fame and £200 pounds a day 😉

Verdita and I can be plants who cause all sorts of trouble to bring up the ratings.

@RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder

Anyway , I’m glad we’ve got that sorted . I agree that we’d make an excellent , terrible Anglo/American couple - we could really play to the gallery . Over to you Rinder

That won’t work AT ALL if you’re both going to be all reasonable and apologise to each other! I guess I could cut those bits and spend a lot of time asking you, “So, what would you say to your spouse if they had just broken your phone, laughed and told you it was your fault? You know, hypothetically? If there were no repercussions?”

That might give us some workable footage

Agree Rinder

They have both been such disappointments . . . and they showed so much promise, too . . .

I'm sure though, as you suggest, there are ways to work around the reasonable bits.

Oh no, I hate nothing more than being a disappointment. I feel my Ryan request will go into the shredder now. Wails and stamps feet like a petulant toddler. Nothing will come between me and my Ryan

Verdita and I can be plants who cause all sorts of trouble to bring up the ratings.

Now your talking, Fella!

[PM to Rinder - really not for anyone else's eyes - please look away now if you are NOT Rinder. - I'm a little disturbed by this £200/day stuff. I was thinking of reimbursing bus fares (on receipt of the tickets, for the accountant, obviously) and offering Luncheon Vouchers. We'll have to have a think about this. Aussie CarCrash Productions has a slightly bigger budget than we do (Aus$80,000 per episode vs £3.57p per episode, though I think we can reclaim the VAT on the "Dinner is Served-ed" nights). I wonder if Eau's brilliant legal mind can come up with a solution?]

Schaden perhaps Justin could sponsor the show. You know with him being an ice cream mogul.

cobwebs
@FuzzyPuffling. I think you are leading a sheltered life. I live in Brighton and work in Soho and there are many, many shops where you can buy male ‘lingerie’ and other exotic lifestyle paraphernalia.

I am sheltered. I live in the very rural west country. The farmers round here would have no truck with net vests. The fishermen....? Well who knows what they use their nets for?

@NowYouListenToMeFella

Oh no, I hate nothing more than being a disappointment. I feel my Ryan request will go into the shredder now. Wails and stamps feet like a petulant toddler. Nothing will come between me and my Ryan

No - we never break a promise, but I think you should go to your room and think about what you've done.

Forgive me everyone, I have sinned, I looked up all the contestants on Instagram

That goes for you, too, Don'tbelieveit. Looking ahead . . . . tut, tut

@NowYouListenToMeFella

Schaden perhaps Justin could sponsor the show. You know with him being an ice cream mogul.

I don’t think he could afford it now FELLA . I’d heard he’d sold his last Whippy machine to pay for his sixy black net underwear from Agent Provocateur seconds retail shop . Shame !

@NowYouListenToMeFella

Schaden perhaps Justin could sponsor the show. You know with him being an ice cream mogul.

Great idea!

Though he'd be hard to blackmail. Any man who is prepared to appear on international TV if a mesh body suit obviously has no shame whatsoever.

@FuzzyPuffling

cobwebs *@FuzzyPuffling*. I think you are leading a sheltered life. I live in Brighton and work in Soho and there are many, many shops where you can buy male ‘lingerie’ and other exotic lifestyle paraphernalia.

I am sheltered. I live in the very rural west country. The farmers round here would have no truck with net vests. The fishermen....? Well who knows what they use their nets for?

😂😂😂😂 I'm sure there's a few farmers or fisherman prancing around in mesh underwear with the curtains tightly closed.

But this thread is getting very fractured with all the private messaging malarkey.
Is it being done on purpose by the producers in order to initiate a rift in the team? Are those of us in the "Excluded" department being encouraged to slink off into the shadows. Or will we rise up and stage a bloodless coup against our masters? Will we need counselling afterwards? And who is that blonde woman in the ixperts camp?

My brilliant legal mind is now taxed by putting plasters on little knees now - as conker season is now upon us, I am experiencing a higher than average tiny customer flow in the school office
I have heard on the grapevine that Justin would be interested in sponsoring your show, but requires all participants to wear a baseball cap with his company name on AT ALL TIMES. Black mesh see through T shirts and pants are preferred, but optional uniform.