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Telly addicts

Thumbface and the Numbfaces - Have you sneak-peeked? "Just the one, I can resist, I am strong.” NO! DON'T LOOK, ETHEL! Too late . . . 10 hours later your eyelids are begging for mercy

999 replies

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/08/2020 10:18

Thanks to MissMarplesHandbag for the "Just the one . . . "inspiration for the thread title, and to whichever wonderful soul suggested "The Numbfaces" as a description for his harem.

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bibliomania · 02/09/2020 08:20

Tracey has self published books aimed at women, all about honouring the goddess within.

Honeyroar · 02/09/2020 08:25

Tracey could do with reading her own books then!

Italiangreyhound · 02/09/2020 08:44

You are the bad guy Dean! The very definition of cheating, snivelling bad boy.

estuary "I’d be very uncomfortable around Sean. He comes across as being cold and dead inside. Poor Blaire." Agree. I don't think he is a virgin at all. I think he really has slept with hundreds of women and, sadly, that level of promiscuity is going to fuck you up.

Good for Ryan sticking to his guns. She'll now realise what she has lost.

Tracey is a fool.

Gabrielle you need to run for the hills.

Still wondering what the dynamic is with Patrick and Charlene. Was she holding back or was he?

Troy I think is saying what he a) wants to hear himself say b) what he thinks the group wants to hear c) possibly but not sure what he thinks Ashley may want him to say. Of all the marches that is the worst in my opinion, along with Alicyia and Matt and Jo and Sean.

Carly is going to flog that dead horse to the end. Feel sorry for her. I really feel he has come on the show, boatless, but with a love of boats, to inject cash into his ice cream business.

Mel and John are sweet but dull.

Telv is gorgeous in every sense. But any one see how often Sarah talks and Telv has little to say about the other contestants. Can't believe he'd have trouble finding love in real life, or Patrick so why are they there?

happinessischocolate · 02/09/2020 09:07

Troy is strange really can't work him out. When posters said after the dinner party that he's gas lighting Ash I disagreed, but now watching the commitment ceremony I'm starting to agree.

Troy said afterwards something about "oh Ash wasn't very impressed with me saying the L word hahaha" He really expected her to be overjoyed at his declaration, and fall at his feet.

If it turned out his was an alien or has been in an institution all his life and has only read about women in books I really would t be surprised 😁

happinessischocolate · 02/09/2020 09:43

Still wondering what the dynamic is with Patrick and Charlene. Was she holding back or was he?

She keeps saying he's more emotional than she is, and that she's not that open about her feelings.

I wonder if he's saying he loves her and she's going hang in a minute fella, slow down. That would tie in with him also saying something about I know you're feeling it.

Which would mean either he's emotionally needy or he just chucks the love word round willynilly

I adore Charlene and I'm surprised she's not settled down with kids, but she did say she doesn't go for nice guys normally.

NowYouListenToMeFella · 02/09/2020 10:46

*He's yours - I'm sure my colleague won't mind me making an executive decision on this one. I'll put a "reserved" sticker on him for you.

However I make no promises on how well it will go - only the Mystical Rinder ("sees all, knows all, tells all") knows what the future may hold.*

Delighted to hear this great news on a miserable wet morning. Has brightened up my day. Googles flights to Oz and fills in career break form.

I shall wait for Rinders predictions but I can promise you now that I shall not have my head turned by anyone resembling a thumb.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2020 12:44

If it turned out [Troy] was an alien or has been in an institution all his life and has only read about women in books I really would t be surprised

Someone (I think it may have been Rinder) make a similar comment bout Troy at the beginning of our epic TV marathon, Happiness.

She said he looked and acted as though he'd never touched a woman, and she could imagine his reaction as being "Gosh - I thought they'd feel like blancmange, but they're just like real people, aren't they?"

I snorted tea down my nose Grin

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happinessischocolate · 02/09/2020 12:59

Davina said something about she felt she'd dodged a bullet with Dean.

Ryan is the one who dodged a bullet, imagine if Davina had realised from the start that she had one of the best men in the show (the other imho being Telv), he wouldn't have found out what a lying, empathyless, psycho she was until the show was over and she'd tried to shag half his mates.

happinessischocolate · 02/09/2020 13:01

@SchadenfreudePersonified 😁 I remember the blancmange comment now 😂

awaynboilyurheid · 02/09/2020 13:42

Oh my !, so pleased Ryan didn’t cave in however much Davina tried to change the narrative. Her saying I’m so proud of you and pawing at him last night was giving me the rage!!, luckily he could see through her and stuck to leave She really was awful I just wish they had shown the filming of her throwing herself at Dean. I liked the blonde ahem, expert actually confronting her and then Ryan asking her if she was free at the end!

Nasser has switched off now he can tell his friends I was married to a woman but it didn’t work, as an excuse as he obvs doesn’t want to come out yet.
Felt v sorry for Blair what a horrible guy, she was really kind to him when he had his meltdown on the couch one week but he’s been horrible to her.
Honestly think anyone could say anything to Tracy and with a swift apology ah la in Davina she ‘s like ok

She imagines, as someone else said she’s a strong woman but she’s so far from that reality. “ Tracy I’ve burnt your house down stolen all your stuff” ... Tracy , “well I expect an apology” .
Other person ... “eh sorry? “ Tracy, ok fine.
Unreal.

Eaumyword · 02/09/2020 13:52

This is just the best thread ever, so funny!Smile

Frazzled2207 · 02/09/2020 14:12

I’m not sure where everyone else is up to as I’m watching on demand but I am absolutely enthralled but equally disgusted by Dean and Davina’s behaviour. Especially the latter.
I think Troy and Ashley make a very entertaining comedy couple but Ashley is some kind of Saint to still be tolerating Troy. He’s so useless. It’s slightly endearing but only up to a point.

I might have missed it but Sean and Blair seemed to have disappeared.

Jo got a really raw deal with her match. As did Carly although at least hers was rich.

SpanishFly · 02/09/2020 15:03

I'm watching ahead now, I'm about to start the final commitment ceremony after the Brides' homestay week 😀 It's great, wish I could talk about it, tho 🤦🏼‍♀️

larabond · 02/09/2020 15:19

I think the show makes a really good Relationship Disasters textbook, a very good learning tool! It teaches us how to recognise potentially problematic partners so we could run for the hills before it is too late. I even suspect they intentionally brought in so many unsuitable for marriage people to show us all whom to avoid. It is the best teaching video series ever!!! Not to mention the entertainment factor!

I feel sorry for those contestants who joined genuenly looking for love, they have been taken advantage of and used as guinea pigs for the 'experiment', deliberately mismatched to make the show interesting, poor souls!

Eaumyword · 02/09/2020 15:31

Yes, like What Not to Wear - more What Not to Do!Grin

RusBun · 02/09/2020 15:51

Or Whom Not To Date! Any better suggestions for the title, anyone?

RusBun · 02/09/2020 15:53

Blind Marriage Disasters?

FuzzyPuffling · 02/09/2020 16:00

We call it " Don't Tell the Australians" as we watch in the mornings and it is on after "Don't tell the Bride".

BurtonHouse · 02/09/2020 16:23

I think Troy has learned how to do charm, in the same way you can teach a small child their 2 times table without them having the faintest clue what it actually means.
And he asked for a Barbie doll, and treats Ashley like a little toy. All the touching, cuddling etc is totally cringeworthy. Again, like a small child with it's blanket.
And Nasser: there are no words.
So obviously gay, I'm surprised no-one has broached the idea. Could Gaby sue??

ExtraPaddingForFallingOver · 02/09/2020 16:25

@FuzzyPuffling ‘Don’t tell the Australian’s’ Grin

I’m looking forward to seeing Gabby’s sister at the bride’s home stay....ooo she’s going to pull that rotter Nasser apart, hopefully.

Destinysdaughter · 02/09/2020 16:34

Watching Troy being questioned on the sofa last night reminded me of this like from Friends:

"He takes like, what, a week to get out a sentence?" Grin

Destinysdaughter · 02/09/2020 16:35

Line not like!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2020 17:32

@RusBun

Or Whom Not To Date! Any better suggestions for the title, anyone?
"Strictly Come DARVO"?
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RusBun · 02/09/2020 17:59

@BurtonHouse

I think Troy has learned how to do charm, in the same way you can teach a small child their 2 times table without them having the faintest clue what it actually means. And he asked for a Barbie doll, and treats Ashley like a little toy. All the touching, cuddling etc is totally cringeworthy. Again, like a small child with it's blanket. And Nasser: there are no words. So obviously gay, I'm surprised no-one has broached the idea. Could Gaby sue??
The idea of Gabrielle suing the production team for being matched with a gay crossed my mind too!
RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 02/09/2020 18:22

With DaviNA and Ryan having left I think it might be time for a mid-show set of predictions.

DaviNA is shocked when the show airs and she discovers that people actually think she’s not the sweet innocent victim, but is instead the rabid harpy with a dried husk where her empathy should be. She does a few interviews in which she bursts into tears at just the right time, but for some ridiculous reason the reporters keep twisting her narrative as manipulative as self-serving.

Having burst into tears eight times in a forty five minute appearance, she decides that if she carries on like this she’s going to get dehydrated - which will ruin her skin. In one of her trademark carefully-thought-out decisions she decides to emigrate to America.

“They flipping love narcass... I mean... strong women who go after what they want, over there!” she declared to cameras at the airport - but it wasn’t reported because the cameras weren’t there for her, she just threw herself in front of them to the confusion of the reporter who was waiting for Shane Warne.

Rumours abound that DaviNA was last seen on the arm of Eric Trump, making goo-goo eyes at the president. It’s hard to know what followed since everyone involved is a liar, but witnesses state they’ve seen her with a small, orange baby.

Meanwhile Ryan was contacted for a sponsorship deal by Australian Oysters Inc. He appeared in a range of adverts with the tag line “I only eat Aussie” where he vomits after eating off brand oysters.

Ryan shared in private that he still thought oysters were disgusting, but he’d found a woman worth swallowing them whole for.

In a twist of fate, the heir of the oyster dynasty has fallen madly in love with Ryan and his kind eyes. They share eye-contactless lunches and love blossoms over a bucket full of half chewed oysters. They get married and he takes over the business, making him an actual millionaire... unlike Justin. They have four children and to show there are no hard feelings, he names the twins Deano and Davina. Dean doesn’t think this is funny.

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