Bringing up baby- part two on NOW!

[Megglevampire]

Can't wait to see if CV is wearing joggers...

the sad and scary thing is that my sil is into the cv style of parenting. when ds2 was a little baby he was having a bit of an off day, crying, can't even remember why, maybe he was teething or a bit unwell, and I was on the phone to her and she said I should put him in his room, close the door and switch off the baby monitor!!!! she still thinks I am mad for giving him the occasional feed in the night. he is 13 months. the other day we were at my mums and her 4 month old baby was lying in his pram, I asked whether he was sleepy and she said no he prefers it in there. I said how my los never liked being put down and how lucky she was that he was so content in there. she said it's not luck it's TRAINING!!!!! I couldn't even speak I was so digusted.

Elliot...thing is, I know for a fact, that at any time, should you be unhappy you could discontinoue taking part...and that should be made clear, and I would think it was made clear. Afterall, they can not make you take part and there are no real obligations to do so...
I think that was what I found so disturbing, especially with the Twins mum it is so apparent just how unhappy she is with things...and well...I just can't understand why they didn't pull out, but wonder if the Dad had something to do with it, as he obviolsy couldn't understand just what bothered his wife...and well, I suppose many men can't

Yse but you can also pull out of a research project at any time - that doesn't stop it being necessary to have safeguards to ensure participants aren't exposed to dangerous advice. I suspect that it would actually be quite difficult to feel that it is ok to pull out. I mean, I bet the producers aren't constantly reminding them they don't have to carry on, are they? There is something of a conflict of interest here - a programme must be made....

elliot...obviously I really don't know mcuh about this particular programme...but my ms took part in the Babyborrower programme (that was shown beginning of the year) and at teh psycholgy assesment it wasn't just about him and how he would cope, but they also made sure that we were confident enough to speak up for our child and if we felt that anything that happened was harming our child, in our opinion, that we were strong enough to pull our child out....we were made very aware of the fact that we should always remember why the producers etc...are pushing on...and that their main concern was indeed the programme and to make good TV...so, we were our childs advocate...
and , maybe I am naive here, but I would assume that this would happen with any of these kind of programmes...
You don't have anyhting to loose by pulling out, because the participants are not payed for there participation, therefor no obligations...

press release from the Royal College of Paediatrics here

RESPONSE FROM NSPCC:

Thank you for your email regarding Channel four?s Bringing up Baby series. The NSPCC will decide how to respond after viewing all four episodes of the show. In the mean time we would like to thank you for bringing the matter to our attention. The protection of children should be a prime consideration for the authorities responsible for regulating the content of the media, particularly the broadcast media who have the greatest breadth of audience. The NSPCC tries to maintain an ongoing and constructive relationship with the media outlets and the watchdogs that monitor them, and our Policy Advisors are keeping this area under review.

It is very important that the added weight of viewers' opinions reaches these the organisations responsible for regulating the media, so it is important that you contacted Ofcom.

With regard to methods of bringing up children, the NSPCC believe that a harsh parenting approach and an over-reliance on strict routines are not in the best interests of children. The NSPCC is a supporter of positive parenting techniques. We produce a range of parenting support materials in the form of leaflets and booklets - please see:- www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/publications/leaflets/parentingleaflets_wda38357.html

Thank you once again for contacting us.

Good to know that the NSPCC do plan to respond.

I can't believe the NSPCC are waiting until the programme is finished to respond. They need to act now to get some disclaimers on the screen to tell people they will damage their babies if they follow evil Verity's advice.

Pathetic. If this is how they act faced with a clear case of child neglect and abuse (refusing to interact with the baby) what hope is there for other children who don't have cameras on them? I hope they've got some big plans but I very much doubt it.

Highlander...teh Baby Whisperer was a mum , she died a few years ago, btw. so, whilst I did not agree with her I think it's in bad taste to mention her in line with claire verity and the one we must not mention...

I agree with you 3, the baby whisperer shouldn't be compared with CV. Not at all, I think, What I really liked (and integrated) about her book is that she encourages the parents to listen to what the baby is trying to communicate with his/her cries or body language. CV advocates letting a baby cry for hours, Baby whisperer doesn't. BH is very keen on breastfeeding and her 'method' is BF friendly. CV isn't.

well...Babywhisperer, is actyually not that fab about bf...but, indeed she cannot be compared at all with claire verity, and tbh, GF seems to be a complete doll against cv, lol

The NSPCC man I spoke to said "Oh don't you think it was just the way she was portrayed"
I said "have you got children?" He said "no".
I explained that if I worked in a hospital or care setting and treated a person like Claire Verity treated those babies, referring to them as it, leaving them to cry, saying that they are just trying to manipulate you and forcing them into a routine and purposefully discouraging affection and bonding with family that I would be struck off and taken to court for cruelty and neglect. He said "Good point", but she hasn't done anything illegal and she is not regulated by any professional body and therefore they do not feel that they can act.

I said "Do you realise what affect the crying might have on a new mum trying to copy her methods?" and explained to him that leaving a newborn baby to cry in the way protrayed may in my opinion cause the mother to be driven to edge of reason. He said "Good point!"

....and then he said "Did I speak to you yesterday and I said "no" and then he hurried me off the phone. They are obviously hearing the same thing off other people but not really listening. I am not very impressed with them!

I was so disturbed about this programme it made both myself and DH upset (and me to cry).

Sorry but WTF???? You have just given birth to this beautiful being and you are to ignore it and not give it any love??? My gut instinct was to covet my DC's when they were born. Not to leave it out like a stray dog to train.

God I really do hope that people don't follow THAT woman's advice. She is cruel down to the bone.

That is a bit odd...seeing that they can go after parents that neglect Kids...I mean, tis not as us parents are regulated by any regulatory body, as such...hm...
thing is, I think they would be finding it easier to go for the apretns that let this happen, rather then those so called proffesisonals...
how odd someone at NSPC not having children...iykwim...

I have just read this acticle in The Sunday Times so thought I would add the link in case anyone's interested Daisy Goodwin article in The Sunday Times

I was just wondering if the mumsnetter who has been quoted recognises herself!

Took me a little while to get the link right as I've never done one before now realised I have spelt article wrong!

only half way through and already think it is a shitty piece of apologia masquerading at journalism.

why is the times giving these people inches? they are a waste of the right to free speech.

'all the women for her village followed King' notice the inclusion of Sir as if that makes it more right.

and the 'individuality' of the 60's and 70's was allowing babies to be treated as adults. no they are being treated as humans and as babies.

putting babies to sleep alone in a cot on its own from day one is treating baby like an adult or older child, ffs.

Thanks for the link
"Indeed it could be argued that a childcare approach that puts an emphasis on getting life back to normal as quickly as possible was beneficial to the baby, as a rested mother enjoying a healthy relationship with her husband or boyfriend was in the best possible state to fulfil her baby?s needs. "

Yes, especially if she spends all day every day sobbing as she is coerced by her partner into leaving her newborns outside in the cold for 4 hours.

Oh my god- I'm a 'childcare fundamentalist'

here is a thread for you Daisy Goodwin

I was just looking through the timesonline for another article in relation to the job I do when I came across this from yesterday's paper Doctors chatise TV's babycare guru because of fears over cot deaths

At least this shows that some people are taking things very seriously.

To the Daisy article ....especially that last bit....when will people understand and accept that when you are a parent things change and it's aprt of it...what is it about...we must live our life as always, get on with it as we used to....well...personally if people feel that strong about it, they shouldn't have children....but I know that I am being harsh...

When I had my baby over a year ago I thought I wanted to get my life back as quickly as possible and for the baby to fit in with us and not the other way round.

Within days I realised I couldn't do that without 1. letting baby cry 2. compromising my success at breast feeding. 3. missing out on all that mutual comfort you get from feeding/sleeping with your baby.

But that's just MY opinion. There are plenty of parents out there that can and will do a lot of things for routine and a good night's sleep. It doesn't make it right or wrong - it's their way.

Isn't that what the program is there to illustrate? To show us how the different methods work so we can make our own minds up.

In reality, there are a lot of pro routine nannies out there that are a lot less extreme than the one shown - but then....what would we all have to rant about??

ami routine is one thing...but CV's method is dangerous and forceful.