I MAY DESTROY YOU - mon and tue bbc 1045

[Blondeshavemorefun]

New dram series starts tonight on bbc 1

With only hours left to deliver a draft of a book to her publishers , writer Arabella is tempted into a night out with a friend ........

the series is set in London and centers around the story of a young woman who must rebuild her life after her drink is spiked with a date rape drug

Theo actually says her group was for people who had been through sexual exploitation of any kind. I would say if someone is offering you money (£21.33) at aged 14 to be photographed having sex and you agree you are probably being sexually exploited. she then goes on to say says I hate abusers I think abuse, grooming, assault and domestic violence are the most vile abhorrent qualities of our species. She does say I have been abused and exploited. She has suffered domestic abuse at hands of her mum and sexual exploitation in my opinion and her setting up a group to talk about such things is valid. I don’t get that in this setting she is lying/being manipulative. Not my view at all.

@Allywill I thought she had sexual abuse when I watched it but I guess that's my memory formukating that from it alluding to her being sexually abused by her dad until the big reveal. If she had said sexusl exploitation, that changes my view.
I definitely agree about the exploitation she suffered at the hands of her mother and I can kind of see some level of exploitation with the school boy only because of one power dynamic- he seemed to be richer than her. Otherwise, they seemed to be on equal footing and he didn't come across as being significantly coercive. But then her pretty much crying rape is very extreme. BUT then lying is a currency she understands thanks to her mother.
This is what I love about the show. There is no clear right or wrong.
The fact that she cried rape is very damning though. But this show is great for showing how such feelings of abuse can be subjective and, as a 14yo girl, maybe she felt she had to lie as, simply describing what happened would not have done anything.

Still gutted Biagio not a better man. I can see why she fell for him.

Why would you want them to work it out when he’s clearly a massive wanker? What’s he actually done that’s so great?
Wishing a horrible death on someone because they make a few out of order comments is weird.
I love this series but it makes me feel relieved that I have been boring and responsible since I was born!

Also can I ask, what's the difference between pointing a gun at someone telling them to leave and holding it (with the business end facing someone) while telling them to leave? Think this was distinguished as different upthread.

That was me. I was watching on a small screen in the dark and I hadn't noticed he pointed the gun towards her (I was also tired and watching it at midnight). I thought he was holding a gun, as if he were mid- 'shit hit the fan with gangsters and drug lords in another room'. So, to answer your question, the difference isn't huge. But it is the difference between an act of aggression towards Bella and a dangerous man caught up in bad business. Bad shit, either way. I'll have to watch it again.

@Allywill

not sure about the comments about theo. at the very least she was used, gaslighted and manipulated by her mum - that makes her at least a victim of domestic abuse in my book. also have an issue with the school incident. it appeared to suggest that a photo of them having sex put paid to her accusation that she was forced into it. Although we know in fact he didn’t force her at knife point i think to suggest a photo could prove consent is very problematic.

Agreed. Had been trying to find the words to articulate this re theo.

@Allywill

Theo actually says her group was for people who had been through sexual exploitation of any kind. I would say if someone is offering you money (£21.33) at aged 14 to be photographed having sex and you agree you are probably being sexually exploited. she then goes on to say says I hate abusers I think abuse, grooming, assault and domestic violence are the most vile abhorrent qualities of our species. She does say I have been abused and exploited. She has suffered domestic abuse at hands of her mum and sexual exploitation in my opinion and her setting up a group to talk about such things is valid. I don’t get that in this setting she is lying/being manipulative. Not my view at all.

Also, we don't have any other information about theo other than the time at school and her now, years later running the victim group. Who's to say she hasn't experienced further exploitation?

Didn’t reliese how long it had been. Glad to finally have w time frame

So 9mths after attach still no answer :(

Don’t get the attraction she has with biagio
He isn’t interested in her. She’s almost like a stalker travelling aboard and letting into home

Poor Kwame. He just needs someone to love him. Tho trying to be with a woman to try it out wasn’t him

I did notice same position with the girl , as the one who raped /Body humped

I was wondering if it was going to go that way too about Theo but then there was the conversation at the party where Arabella reveals to Theo that it was she that went to the headteacher about the photo. So whatever else happened that seems to be a crucial point to their storyline and doesn't leave much else to be unearthed while they were at school together. Terry also dismisses Theo as being the poster girl for Child Line when Arabella she say's she's been in contact.

I'd really not like Theo to be turned into a fairly one dimensional frenemy who wants to seek vengeance on Arabella as being pivotal to her downfall at school. She seems to be more sinned against than sinner.

I think she behaved like a creep with Biagio. If it had happened the other way round and he had let himself in to her house after they had split up and ordered a pizza delivery and sounded like he had no plans of leaving people would think he was a dangerous creep. I don't see why people like her

Just caught up on this. I watched the first 2 eps then left it for ages (busy) and just watched the rest. It certainly went places I wasn't expecting. And yes it's phenomenal in lots of ways.

Bella's monologue at the start of ep7(?) was great, something like 'now I have to pay attention to my sex (she said gender) when previously it's been being poor and black that have affected me' (terrible clumsy paraphrasing from me).

I almost stopped watching after the horrible scenes in ep 3 or 4, lots of nasty sex and Zain seemed hideous from the start, so when Bella said 'so are we going to have sex then' or whatever it seemed completely out of the blue to me, I hadn't noticed any sexual tension or whatever beforehand. Then I was astounded a with-it young thing like her didn't know about stealthing, but it's a great example of the 'grey areas' this show is trying to put in the spotlight.

The Theo storyline to me is the least clear-cut. I still felt like she'd been exploited even though nothing in the particular claims turned out to be true, but as a pp says if she's having sex and pics taken for cash she is to some extent. If she's getting permission to hear people's stories based on her assumed past of sexual assault then I would say that falls under the 'consent issues' of the other storylines.

Compare to how Bella instantly is open when she realises the Henny lady is black - they share something important, she opens up. Even though we see the publisher doesn't seem to share much else in common with her. She thinks (? does she?) Theo is a victim of sexual assault too so they share something.

Upthread posters had said Theo seemed cagey with her stepdad which I picked up on too, but could've been a red herring.

Btw, is anyone watching this with a male partner? I don't think my DH is that into this - can't really relate to these levels of hedonism, impulsivity and risk! - but I think it's important for lots of people to watch.

I don't like Biagio at all.

Arabella reminds me of someone I used to know very well. Quite discomforting to watch...and a reminder of the dodgy choices made in 20s...

Nobody in it is particularly likeable. Except Kwame.

I think Bella felt she had found someone who would understand her more when she met the black publisher especially as all of the people in this world are a world away from what she knows and who she is. She never set out to be a writer, she fell into it and is way out her comfort zone. To see another black woman would have felt inspiring and also maybe someone who would understand more but we see that it's not really the case, she sees her sexual assault as a great story and is firm about the contract.

Michaela Coel have a talk 2 years ago at the Edinburgh TV festivel in front of lots of big people in her industry. She tells her life story and she fell into the industry really. She didn't grow up dreaming of this and ended up at Drama School after 1 person saw potential in her poetry and gave her free 1 to 1 classes, she then wrote a short play and suddenly was commissioned to write chewing gum. So I think we see a lot of how she felt in real life being in this world that she didn't really understand and she pushed back a lot against the norms of the industry.

Her talk is here, it's an hour but it's very much woeth a listen

*I think she behaved like a creep with Biagio. If it had happened the other way round and he had let himself in to her house after they had split up and ordered a pizza delivery and sounded like he had no plans of leaving people would think he was a dangerous creep. I don't see why people like her
*
I DO like Bella but I do agree with all this and don't think there were any other underlying reasons why he locked her out. He was freaked out, he didn't want her there, he didn't ask her to be there or give ANY signs of wanting to be with her.

I think his reaction to the rape was awful, he's quite a pious character which is an odd trait for a drug dealer, he looks down on those he deals to, including Bella, he was fascinated by her but disgusted by the messiness of her life.

I don’t disagree with the analysis of her being an utter mess but I personally think there are nicer ways of ending it with someone than locking them out and pulling a gun on them. Think I’d let her stay one night then pack her off to the airport in a taxi and tell her it was all over.

Also, it struck me that if these people were say 15 when episode 6 was set in 2004, they are all in their 30s now. Many millennials are nearing 40. I think that makes it even more dark because these aren’t some 22 year olds going crazy partying, they’re adults. I think maybe it’s a commentary on how some people make a living through being an influencer these days and how is it going to turn out long-term for them.

And yeah, him being all sanctimonious when he’s a part of the fucking drugs trade is quite something. Fuck off mate.
The actor is very good (and very good-looking though).

Since she came back to England Biaglo had been calling Arabella, coaching her, until she asks him to get a dna forensic test and his true colours come out, he is foul, blaming her
in fact in the beginning when she left Italy she asked him for a relationship which he did not agree to.
i dont know why she thought going to see him was a good idea
i think there is something going on with him that he got rid of her in the extreme way he did but I dont like him

I watched the first episode again and it was a reminder about how terrible their relationship was. He wouldn't agree to her being his girlfriend even though she had been over to Italy a couple of times by then and he was going to go over to the UK - not London, because it wasn't the near the beach or something. I think he's the kind of guy that thinks of himself as being really deep.

I did look up Michaela Coel's age and she's 32 so a bit older than I presumed Arabella's character to be. I suppose it could be set in the near past too. My clubbing days were just about over by then!

I wondered if he was upset about putting his DNA on the police database for other reasons, in case he got caught for something he'd already done.

The dynamic between Bella and and the publishing lady is interesting. Bella seemed to feel taken under her wing, if that makes sense, and is so happy to see a black woman like her doing well at the job she loves. The publisher lady is just looking at Bella and seeing £ and opportunity. There is no warmth at all.

celeb thanks for that link, I'll watch that properly later

I fell to wondering (which is silly because we'll only get what MC has written) what Bella's relationship with her mother is like. Apart from the dash 'home' to find colouring implements she seems to exist entirely without family interaction, even though her family don't live far away. I'm guessing her mother (who we heard was at work when she visited and saw her brother) is about my age or within a decade older.

I suppose what's nagging me is that if her first book was such a big success she must have earned quite a lot of money as well as fame from it - a thing which might prompt a little (even if unaccustomed) familial pride and interest. Perhaps the subject matter of the book caused her mother embarrassment, or at least a sharp intake of breath?

Overthinking ...

I've just had a revelation ... I'm not actually keen on Bella!

I'm a fickle character though so I reserve the right to change my mind!!

Well, the thread consensus appears to be that Theo and Nilufer are the most attractive, important and victimised characters ...

Perdita wtf? Stop with your weird accusations of racism. You’re coming off very badly on this thread actually. Theo is an unlikable character as an adult, no doubt. As a teen, she is treated really badly by the boy she then accuses of rape. She is hugely in the wrong but the way he treats her is disgusting too. As for Nilufer, she’s also unlikeable but the wishing a horrible death on someone is OTT and reveals quite a bit about you as a person. How about you actually explain what it is that you find so vile and abhorrent in what she says? Without accusations that others are racist please, if you can manage that.