I MAY DESTROY YOU - mon and tue bbc 1045

[Blondeshavemorefun]

New dram series starts tonight on bbc 1

With only hours left to deliver a draft of a book to her publishers , writer Arabella is tempted into a night out with a friend ........

the series is set in London and centers around the story of a young woman who must rebuild her life after her drink is spiked with a date rape drug

Yep Kwame and his date were both using each other weren't they, one because she has a fetish for black men, the other because he wanted to experiment at having sex with a woman.

@famousforwrongreason

I think it's actually quite common, white people fetishising people of colour, you hear it all the time I'm into 'black guys' or 'mixed raced guys'. It's seen in porn too which is unbelievably racist.

Yet again so much going on in episode 8 around the throw away nature of internet dating culture, race, sexuality and prejudice.

That whole date scenario was so awkward and weird. She was so condescending when talking about the N word and saying how she wouldn't use it as she had black friends, she came across like she was an authority on the subject. I think this was supposed to show how white people so often are the ones controlling the narrative and being the PC police.

She then went onto to be weirdly homophobic and spoke about gay men appropriating female characterises. I'm not sure if she was perhaps supposed to be some kind of extreme feminist. So it was showing that conflict point between different oppressed groups. At the end of the scene it felt like they were both left feeling used and humiliated.

There was so much going on there i didn't even get a chance to properly think about what the hell was going on with Biagio and Bella. She's clearly traumatised by what happened and the fact the her case got dropped and is looking for some security. It was a crazy move for her to go over to Italy and let herself in and in doing so she crossed his boundaries. Imagine that the other way around?

Then on top of that there was Terry's weird controlling behaviour of Bella, the climate change and race conversation and the dynamic between Bella and Theo with Bella apologising to Theo when what she did was right.

There's just so much to think about every episode!

The climate change bit could easily have not been in there for me. There is so much going on and it just added an extra layer. Didn’t add much to the plot I thought.

Except theo used arabella in the vegan job, she gained from introducing her, particularly since arabella is black

To me it didn't feel that bit about climate change was another thought provoking look at race and power structures. A desire to 'do good and change the world for the better' whilst also exploiting black people in the process like Theo and Happy animals exploiting Arabella's race for a kind performative activism to enhance their brand.

It was just interesting to see things from another angle. That's what is so good about Coel's writing it shines a light on things you wouldn't otherwise consider. It often doesn't make it clear what is right or wrong but instead leaves you questioning.

Sorry typos should actually have said this..

To me it felt that the bit about climate change was another thought provoking look at race and power structures. A desire to 'do good and change the world for the better' whilst also exploiting black people in the process like Theo and Happy animals exploiting Arabella's race for a kind performative activism to enhance their brand.

It was just interesting to see things from another angle. That's what is so good about Coel's writing it shines a light on things you wouldn't otherwise consider. It often doesn't make it clear what is right or wrong but instead leaves you questioning.

(Apols if repeating anything posted above - haven't read properly yet to avoid spoilers.)

Please tell me the poisonous thing poor Kwame is walking home (on my screen right now) will be dead by the end of this episode?

I'm posting in the middle of watching because, after what she has just said, I'm not sure I can watch the rest.

Unless she dies.

Horribly.

@pinkpinecone

Sorry typos should actually have said this..

To me it felt that the bit about climate change was another thought provoking look at race and power structures. A desire to 'do good and change the world for the better' whilst also exploiting black people in the process like Theo and Happy animals exploiting Arabella's race for a kind performative activism to enhance their brand.

It was just interesting to see things from another angle. That's what is so good about Coel's writing it shines a light on things you wouldn't otherwise consider. It often doesn't make it clear what is right or wrong but instead leaves you questioning.

I agree!

That Was Not Fun ...

Paapa Essiedu is a superb actor, and his date scenes were an absolute gift. His face ...

Italy ... I was right there with Bella in her rejection madness. Her face too, outside the door - with her passport. Almost too much to bear.

However. With four episodes left I'm determined that she and Biagio will work things out. He really can't be accused of abandoning her to the night - she got herself there without his assistance. Let's hope there's an unassailable reason for what he did.

Unless whatever it was in the sea devoured her - and the final posthumous episodes are all based on her friends' reminiscences and the writings she left behind ...

I love this show. Obsessed

I watched an interview with her on YouTube

I think it shows a good insight into a life for a lot of 20 somethings. I'm 40 but I've lived my life a similar way at times and have been in this places.

There is such a feeling of liberation for women and empowerment but then when we go out and do those things we are liberated to do they don't always make us as happy as we think.

I've also had sexual experiences that were just bad and been used by men and I've reframed them to a funny story for my friends as it allows my brain to disconnect from how I felt.

I think 20s especially your friends become your family but you are all still trying to figure stuff out. Who you are, what your place in the world is.

Theo is interesting, although she lied she was also a victim in what had happened and I think it shows we don't know anyones life really. That we don't know what anyone else is going through.

Biagio handled her arriving wrongly but Bella was in the wrong. She broke into his house. They weren't together as a couple and he showed no commitment to make her even think that might be ok. Again it's all about the grey, Bella didn't go out there to cross his boundaries but she did.

I hope she doesn't end up with Baigio, he pointed a gun at her !!!

@PerditaProvokesEnmity

(Apols if repeating anything posted above - haven't read properly yet to avoid spoilers.)

Please tell me the poisonous thing poor Kwame is walking home (on my screen right now) will be dead by the end of this episode?

I'm posting in the middle of watching because, after what she has just said, I'm not sure I can watch the rest.

Unless she dies.

Horribly.

Have I missed something? what did she say that has caused such hatred? I wasn't keen on her .. but I'm not sure she was that awful was she?

Really?

Have we been watching different shows??

I'm going to have to watch it again ... I certainly don't recall anything horrific that she did 🤷🏼‍♀️ my impression of her was she was trying to be 'cool' but missing the mark and was offensive

If you're talking about the greek girl with the black man fetish in Ep 8, I'm not sure it's worthy of a death wish...

I hope Bella doesn't end up with Biageo, a man who pulled a gun on her?How do you 'work that out?'

‘I’m into black guys’

@Ellabella222

‘I’m into black guys’

Yes, offensive. But she must have done more than that to invoke such rage?? I've heard them say that on Love Island!

Have you hoped the rapists in this series die horribly too Perdita or is that only reserved for female characters?

My people. I'm just checking back in to read the last few pages.

Someone had mentioned Bella's flatmate as a sort of 'Chekhov's Gun'.
Definitely. I also get a funny feeling about her publisher, Julian. Is he the one in the flashbacks?
And Kwame... I just want to hug him, make him a cuppa. He needs chicken soup and love. He needs a Jewish mother.
And Terry... how uncomfortable was episode 7, knowing about the guilt she's carrying?

I hope Bella doesn't end up with Biageo, a man who pulled a gun on her?How do you 'work that out?'
I need to watch that bit again! Did he pull the gun on her or was he just holding one? I got the feeling shit was going down. He seemed to be a bundle of nerves. I thought there was perhaps another woman in his bedroom but then realised that probably more dangerous stuff was going on. As mentioned on this thread, I think he had to play hardball with her in order to protect her, awful as he was. I've always liked him. There's a legitimate reason he turned so nasty on her- other than because she showed up unannounced and then threw verbal rocks outside his front door (at least, I really, really want to believe there's a more valid and protective reason for his locking her out and getting nasty).

Yeah, I need to watch it again.
What I love about this programme is that it makes me question my own thinking about the characters' actions. It's a bit of a mental house of mirrors and I love it. Exceptionally clever.

@SinisterBumFacedCat

Have you hoped the rapists in this series die horribly too Perdita or is that only reserved for female characters?

Who knows. Something said on the walk home evidently. When did she say about liking black men? She spoke about "men appropriating female characterises" in the house. (Which might cause a TA to wish death on her.) She was negative about gay men in the house too. Can't think why the extreme reaction, especially as we've seen a lot more manipulative characters and rapists who haven't had a terrible death wished on them!!

I thought Biagio also didn't wear a condom when he slept with her so was a bit surprised that she went called out the guy in episode six.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18

I thought Biagio also didn't wear a condom when he slept with her so was a bit surprised that she went called out the guy in episode six.

Can't recall that. But even if she has sex with one man without a condom it doesnt mean she has to have sex with another man without a condom.

Actually, that might be done one purpose. It's the age old rape defense- having had sex before.

Watching it but they are all so self obsessed and superficial. "Surround yourself with people who affirm you" is rubbish as a rule for life. "Develop the self confidence to not care what other people think of you if you are doing what you think is right" is a better rule.

[quote pinkpinecone]@famousforwrongreason

I think it's actually quite common, white people fetishising people of colour, you hear it all the time I'm into 'black guys' or 'mixed raced guys'. It's seen in porn too which is unbelievably racist.

Yet again so much going on in episode 8 around the throw away nature of internet dating culture, race, sexuality and prejudice.

That whole date scenario was so awkward and weird. She was so condescending when talking about the N word and saying how she wouldn't use it as she had black friends, she came across like she was an authority on the subject. I think this was supposed to show how white people so often are the ones controlling the narrative and being the PC police.

She then went onto to be weirdly homophobic and spoke about gay men appropriating female characterises. I'm not sure if she was perhaps supposed to be some kind of extreme feminist. So it was showing that conflict point between different oppressed groups. At the end of the scene it felt like they were both left feeling used and humiliated.

There was so much going on there i didn't even get a chance to properly think about what the hell was going on with Biagio and Bella. She's clearly traumatised by what happened and the fact the her case got dropped and is looking for some security. It was a crazy move for her to go over to Italy and let herself in and in doing so she crossed his boundaries. Imagine that the other way around?

Then on top of that there was Terry's weird controlling behaviour of Bella, the climate change and race conversation and the dynamic between Bella and Theo with Bella apologising to Theo when what she did was right.

There's just so much to think about every episode!

[/quote]
@pinkpinecone I'm mixed race, me and my family have been fetishised all my life. Obviously when I was younger I didn’t realise that was what was happening

@PerditaProvokesEnmity

That Was Not Fun ...

Paapa Essiedu is a superb actor, and his date scenes were an absolute gift. His face ...

Italy ... I was right there with Bella in her rejection madness. Her face too, outside the door - with her passport. Almost too much to bear.

However. With four episodes left I'm determined that she and Biagio will work things out. He really can't be accused of abandoning her to the night - she got herself there without his assistance. Let's hope there's an unassailable reason for what he did.

Unless whatever it was in the sea devoured her - and the final posthumous episodes are all based on her friends' reminiscences and the writings she left behind ...

Yeah I agree. I really identify with the pain and madness she exhibited during that scene. In the past I have given into it, more than once, and for minimal (none) gain. Working really hard to restrict it but is very hard when dealing with trauma. And no, I'm not on the archers thread. I have been, on and off over the years under different name but it just moves too fast for me. I tend to lurk and occasionally comment if there's a particularly gripping storyline.