Sending out the Sleb Masterchef bat-signal

[Halsall]

God knows we could all do with some cheering up, so the hot news is that SLEB MASTERCHEF WILL BE RETURNING SOON

Not sure exactly when but we need time to anticipate, non?

Heads up you Mastercheffians -
@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@fourquenelles
@squooosh
@GrouchyKiwi
@RomaineCalm
@iklboo
@wolfcub
@whatashower
@MrsTommyBanks
@Pencilmuseum
@TheDogsMother
@BuckingFrolics
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@ilovesooty
@myimaginarycathasfleas
@FurryBuzzer
@BasiliskStare
@KazzaD66

And every other Mastercheffian I've managed to leave off the list, no offence intended

Wtaf!?!!!

Awwww. That's a shame.

What a swizz, get rid of the only one who made a proper effort.

OhWhat Wikipedia tells me he's Andy Grant, ex-Marine and amputee who broke the 10,000m world record for below-the-knee amputees.

And now ex-Masterchef contestant

Are they cooking for the animals next time?!

THE FUCK IS THAT WALLOP NONSENSE?!

Mass catering challenge already? This is wrong wrong.

I'd really like it if they did a dumbed down version of the skills test they do on the professional version in the first or second round here.
Professional kitchen on day one was just daft.

It's all wrong But I'll be back Wednesday.

Yes, I think the idea is to set them up for failure, instead of testing their actual cheffie skills. Let's see what the next bunch have to offer.

More deeply-unsettling out-of-sequence kitchen antics on Wednesday at 8, people.

That was crap

my reference to him not having a leg to stand on unfortunately fell on deaf ears hahaha

Don't worry @Discerning, I tried to lower the tone with Zandra's big portion but nobody wanted to follow me there either!😁

Those 'plates of food' in the restaurants were tiny. Money for old rope

I'm here. Completely forgot to come on when the programme was on like a twat. Been a lurker before but wanted to join in this time.

Also @Discerning I take it from your ZanDRA comment you is also a bad girls fan?!!?

Well feck me, what a load of crap, was up during the night so watched it.

Pasta and mince can get you through along with tomatoes filled with keptchup, that's it I'm applying for next year..

Can't believe they got rid of the marine chap, he had huge potential I thought, I'm going to predict now that Joey Essex will win, he has a habit of being a lot better at things than he makes out, and when he starts getting private lessons he'll be brilliant ,

That Razor lad is bit full of himself I think, not sure I like him.

Who won last year, was it Spencer.

I had to look it up ellen and it was John Partridge.

Ah, how quickly we forget!

Re: J Essex, see also: Gemma Collins. Never knowingly shy of inflicting themselves on the general public and making a very good living out of it too. Therefore I have no truck with cries of 'oh but they've had such a lot to cope with!' etc etc.

As a pp very shrewdly noted: J Essex hadn't heard of thyme but suddenly he knew enough to put mace in his bread pudding. Ha! Pull the other one, it's got bells on it!

Ridiculous that a pasta bake can beat what the ex marine guy made. Sure his sauce was rubbish but that can be taught, at least he was ambitious.

Potter - don't know about that but will have a look if it's any good?

Thanks Halsall completely forgot about him

Joey Essex and Gemma Collins were on TOWIE at the same time, although he left a long time ago. I feel a bit sorry for GC, she has a useless lump of a boyfriend whom she worships but seems to support financially. She works far harder than him, takes everything going and plays up this diva persona because it's a good earner but terrible for her self esteem. She's absolutely maddening but quite a sad character.

@Discerning personally I loved it. Others didn't. It's been off air something like 10 years now. Ran for 8 series I believe (I nearly said seasons - damn American tv!). It's like a bolshy British prisoner cell block h type.

Hhmm.......just caught up with last night's ep. Felt sorry for Andy, don't think he deserved to go. Joey is just a fuckwit who I would quite happily never see again - unfortunately, I have to tomorrow, but I'll record it and fast forward through him.
Much like I do with the gurning greengrocer. Is it me or is he pulling even more OTT faces than usual

Oh bumholes. I made a resolution to increase my participation in the real world and joined a chorus over the summer. They rehearse on Wednesday evenings so I will have to watch on catch up.

Apropos the same I apologise to the Mastercheffian cats and dogs tonight. Apparently after all this time thinking I can't hold a note I discover I am a 1st soprano. They'll be a-screeching in the M4 corridor later

Wow well done fourqs, I could clear an airport in seconds if I attempted to sing out loud

MyImaginary, is GC boyfriend that chap Argent something, he popped up on celebrity swimming, turned up three hours later than the others, I think GC was always late on dancing on ice, mind you I don't mind her, think she gets a bit of a bad press.