Sending out the Sleb Masterchef bat-signal

[Halsall]

God knows we could all do with some cheering up, so the hot news is that SLEB MASTERCHEF WILL BE RETURNING SOON

Not sure exactly when but we need time to anticipate, non?

Heads up you Mastercheffians -
@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@fourquenelles
@squooosh
@GrouchyKiwi
@RomaineCalm
@iklboo
@wolfcub
@whatashower
@MrsTommyBanks
@Pencilmuseum
@TheDogsMother
@BuckingFrolics
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@ilovesooty
@myimaginarycathasfleas
@FurryBuzzer
@BasiliskStare
@KazzaD66

And every other Mastercheffian I've managed to leave off the list, no offence intended

Oh I can't bear the way John says the word pasta, it makes my skin creep. Irrational but true. Oh god, now he can't say water.

I wonder if John likes CHOREEEETHO PARRRRSTA

THE NAN CARD

He is that stupid. No one can keep up that sustained level of idiocy without it being natural.

Fkin hell he’s more annoying than Greg

they've deffo set Joey up as a lovable cockerny Norman Wisdom buffoon - nan again and comedy mixer

A daring early move 🃏

didn't that start off as a salad?

I did just post a thread in chat asking if joey Essex is as thick as he makes out.... it's not going well! Admittedly should've phrased it a little better. Apparently he has learning difficulties and struggled at school when his mum died.
Now I feel like a right bitch!!!!

Hello hello, it's been a huge fuckup in chez fuckery, so I'm way behind.
Whose annoying us, who is tipped for the top?

Oh I thought it was just me hating John's pronunciation of pasta!

god the director is a bit heavy handed - the ex marine won't have a leg to stand on at this rate

JE's a bit like Jade Goody in that he has a sort of native intelligence that serves him well but genuinely no general knowledge. Doesn't stop him getting work.

Two plates of slop so far then.

Dammit Orlando. Now I feel bad too.

ohwhat hello!

They're all annoying.

Nobody's really showing special promise.

I think that's fair?

Even Oti's annoying me Fuckery and I usually love her.

diplomatic Halsall

Who's the scouser?

I shall be pissed off if the ex Marine goes. He is at least trying to cook proper food.

That bread pudding looks a bit dry. If it was moist I'd love it.

ANdys sauce looked as though it jumped out of the jug! Bless him , he's trying to make it look like posh food, but it isn't.

Someone who doesn't know what thyme is an hour ago has managed to bake using cinnamon and that common or garden spice mace. Hmmmm.

Yeah, Oti is a bit "bouncy". I fucking love bread and butter pud.

Don't feel bad about JE, he's earning a good living from his limitations. He doesn't care about winning, this is just another job to him.

Oh fuck off