Veg that pleases and infectious diseases. The myriad joys of MASTERCHEF, thread 3

[Halsall]

All human life is here, for our viewing pleasure.

ENJOY!

I've failed this week. Watched Weds on catch up but after reading this shan't bother with last night's. Pesky family watching Child Genius and I'm out tonight so I'm a write off for MC this week.

Schaden, whatashower and her magic keyboard must take credit for it. All I did was spot the Gobstab-shaped space in the MC jigsaw.

Oooooh, just catching up.

Jay was at University with my sister (desperate claim to fame).

I have found out we are out tonight, so will miss another episode.

I am relying on you all to hurl insults at baldy Gobstab on my behalf.

@Grinchly - I got your reference - making your sister cry - aces. Brilliant.

@ Scahdenfreudepersonified - I have not been around myself for a while but am happy to lob in a F. O. the chubster known as G on your behalf. Consider it done. Have had to watch on catch up. Could he just stop gurning at the female contestants. Or indeed the male ones.

Dh said he thought it was funny that lots of the contestants listen to John T and then just wait whilst G^%$$GG speaks before getting back to the safe place ,

Is there a theme emerging this year yet? Smears on plates? Popping candy in weird places? Samphire (🤢)?

Wha happened to vegan cheese man? I missed an episode but thought his scotch eggs looked scrunmy.

It always seems like John is thinking 'Fuck Off Greggggggg' when he looks at him.

I thought they were pals and he got him the gig?

@ikiboo

LordProfFekko definite themes are disappointingly thin on the ground so far, I think.

Oh for the heady days of anything-three-ways, soil and crumbs on every plate, and hispi cabbage a go-go.

But maybe there's still time......

I’ve seen more roast cauliflower than usual but nothing really jumps out!

Oh my lord - a MasterChef ghetto! My fiance's out tonight and I hate having no one to reflect upon (ie screech "Blow me that's overcooked!
Ugh! Greg stop smiling like you're slowly unpeeling your lips from your teeth!
My life! Who's your woman?!" etc).
Joining in now because there'll be all cut and thrust (there you go, Samantha, one for the novel) later and I won't keep up.
I'd put folding money on none of yesterday's ending up in the finals.
Arjay: loose the comb over. Please.
And now Samantha can concentrate on her J. Cooper-esque novel, "Boilers!".
Love the Mitford refs.

Oh and - à la Colombo - there's just one thing:
I need consolation after reading Jay's book "The Ten (Food) Commandments" and feeling he is still very hung up on his mama Claire "Ooh, luvvie" Raynor.

Join us, LaMarschallin

Come over to the dark side

Right. I have veeted my moustache, combed my hair, removed the last of the jelly from my ears and am waiting to see MY MAN fantasy

I hope he has brought his acerbic wit, a little wisp of black chest hair above his crisp white shirt and a twinkle in his eye.

I am many years post menopausal but I feel my ovaries twitch when he is on screen (Samantha can have that for her Arabian horse soft porn)

LaMarschallin I don't mind squishing him to my matronly bosom and indulging in a little bit of role play

fourq you look super hot tonight. Jay will be alert to your sexiness, and to your rosemary bush, even through the TV screen. Even if it was filmed a few months ago.

Sorry. Ajay, not "Arjay".
I hate it when I'm called LaMaraschino.

fourquenelles I feel my ovaries twitch also which is rather remarkable as a nice surgeon removed them some time ago 😀
We ❤️ Jay.
Please save tonight’s episode Jay.

With these spring like days my rosemary bush is positively blooming Squooosh

You're a match made in culinary heaven, four.
He's a lucky man.
Thank you Halsall - so excited!

I'm just killing time watching old totp and marvelling at Bonnie Tyler's hair and thinking how pissed Bananarama were.
I miss cavalo Nero and the samphire truck. This week's shower were all filla no killa.
"I'll do what it takes...I'll kill if need be"
Ooo slow mo Jay in a wind tunnel.

Slow mo Jay come to me

Made it!
I didn't think I'd get back in time but I have literally just thrown myself through the door!

Pasta. Sounds easy but scope for displeasing Jay.