Masterchef. You don't have to be a serial killer to cook here, but it helps. Thread 2.

[Halsall]

Tim survives to kill cook another day. More from him at a later date, but also (thank goodness) from lovely Irini.

Bring on the new victims.

And Shirley, you've been sorely missed - sorry you didn't get the shout-out but you're here now, phew!

Same here Fuckery

Took the top off my finger with a mandolin (slicer, not stringed instrument) - there was blood EVERYWHERE and it just didn't stop. TWO SOLID HOURS BLOODING!

Went through loads of towels before DH took me to A&E with my arm in the air and a towel round my hand.

Sat there with all of the other New Year's drunken half-wits with self-inflicted injuries. The top of my finger has never grown back (I thought that it might be like a lizard's tail, but I was wrong).

Yeah I always get a bit ragey this tine of night Squoosh. Wonder why?
Hmm not whelmed by any.

Maybe I'm a greedy pig but I'd eat most of these tonight

And the retired engineer can't work the oven shelf system...

I like Delia as well.

fuck off, Gregggg, you baldy jizz drip

Raw onion?

God I hate raw onion

Makes me burp, a lot.

overcooked to buggery Mark

They'll not be able to taste anything else after the onion.

Burnt raw broccoli 🥦 oh dear

That poor broccoli.

Raw onion is the worst. They put it in all the salads over here and it makes me want to cry. NZ knows better (mostly).

Dh had bought me a ukulele for my birthday the day before. I never played again! 😭
Spoony fucker, haven't heard that in ages.

you baldy jizz drip

I knew Thomas the Tank Engine would get nowhere.

That’s very brown

fourq I bet that post-repast burping at one another is entry level foreplay for yourself and Jay.

Ugg just remembered that horrible woman Miriam Margoyles eating raw onion for breakfast on the real marigold show (puke)

He can hardly keep the smug grin off his Local Yoof face.

Dammit, Sarah, why ruin perfectly good food with apricots?

Squooosh

eeew to post repast burping foreplay🤢