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Original poster

Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

931 replies

Halsall · 05/02/2019 11:23

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal Grin

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/02/2019 20:40

And before he hung up he said "tell Gregg to fuck off

He's a keeper ellenora Grin

ellenanora5 · 13/02/2019 20:41

I think Irini will be ok.....crosses fingers

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 13/02/2019 20:41

Quark has no flavour. Why would he use Quark? Or qwork, as he calls it.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 13/02/2019 20:41

I don't like raw pears, but love poached ones.
Quark, fuck right off.

Squooosh · 13/02/2019 20:42

Grouchy good thinking! A sedative in his warm milk does sound easier! Grin

Pencilmuseum · 13/02/2019 20:42

I could eat a warm duck salad now Ellen.
are they micro herbs or weedy cress on Josh's dish?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/02/2019 20:42

SHUT THE FUCK UP, GREGGGG!!!!

My sodding New Year's Resolution was to stop fucking swearing, and look what he makes me do! The bastard!

Footle · 13/02/2019 20:42

I was worrying about how to spell qwork

GrouchyKiwi · 13/02/2019 20:42

You've brought your son up well, ellen.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 13/02/2019 20:42

I'm doubting myself now, is it pronounced qwork?

pinktransit · 13/02/2019 20:42

Quork??? WTF is Quork?

It's Quark.

Once described as the sound a Surrey duck makes :)

Taffeta · 13/02/2019 20:42

Are the chefs shitter tonight or are the judges bitchier?

Or both?

BasiliskStare · 13/02/2019 20:43

So G$%**'s comment about given enough time talent will out. Well I've watched a fair few series and still waiting for G3r99g's talent to out.

Yes I do think the Submarine chap could happily escape to the chateau and no much difference. & one more " you can't undercook chicken on masterchef" - well actually darling you can't undercook chicken in your own kitchen because you might actually poison someone

Janecon · 13/02/2019 20:43

My DH is giving me the evils as I'm shouting swear words at the telly (at Gregg)

Taffeta · 13/02/2019 20:43

Grin @ Surrey duck

Footle · 13/02/2019 20:43

That's the idea, you fool

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/02/2019 20:43

Oh god!

Blobs of stuff . . .

Squooosh · 13/02/2019 20:43

I love monk fish so much.

GrouchyKiwi · 13/02/2019 20:43

Oh quark! I was confused.

Squooosh · 13/02/2019 20:44

Is quark like ricotta?

ellenanora5 · 13/02/2019 20:44

Oh he hates him

His given up his well paid catering job to go back to basics and train from scratch, hasn't a fecking penny but he's loving it Grin

Taffeta · 13/02/2019 20:44

a kind of roast potato

COCK

Original poster
Halsall · 13/02/2019 20:44

Quark, the only cheese that can be confused with an elementary particle

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 13/02/2019 20:45

Loving your husband's work ellenora5

Can I just throw in a random FUCK OFF G&*99 . And breathe.

fourquenelles · 13/02/2019 20:45

It's like Skyr Squooosh and is the mainstay of Slimming World recipes