Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

[Halsall]

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for

So conflicted trying to watch carefully and speed read this thread. At first glance the thread seems mainly to be about penises so not maybe a traditional précis as such..... ha but here is Kenny, jolly good! 😀

Fuck off gregg

I've worked out who Nawamin reminds me of. Anyone remember the guy in A Very Peculiar Practice who did endless calculations on a board and smiled a lot?

I don't ask it to spark joy, as long as it doesn't send me into a clinical depression it can stay.

Is it a sort of "stunt herb" in your kitchen fleas? Just there for people to admire and wonder?

Baby Gregg is due in May apparently. It's a boy and the name will be Sid Massimo Wallace.

David was last year's serial killer. I think we had him down as a1940s murderer. Creeping about during black out.

MrsTommy, I feel you've taken on the mantle of the absent ShirleyPhallus with that kind of talk

I didn't even realise they were trying to say borlotti Halsall.

That's not a shy portion of creepy mash is it.

Fuck me that's a plateful.

I do sooty - but I don't remember him being quite so smug.

looks like something a brownie might do for her cooking badge. If she wasn't carrying plates she would be wringing her hands.

Gordon Cummins, the Blackout Ripper.

Nawamin and Kim Joy should run a kitsch tea room together.

I love mashed potato. I love black pudding. But that looks rank.

Tim is a bit off the wall isn't it, he's going to annoy me

It's a boy and the name will be Sid Massimo Wallace.

Are you a fan? Only a fan would know such things?

Gregg is so gross.

Is Greggggg cooking this dish or what?

Yikes, I'd never heard of him sooty.

Oh David! He was our serial killer pilot wasn't he?
That's a decent chunky meal.
Bet the fish is cooked perfectly, it always is.

At least there's a decent quantity of hazelnuts - not one nut microchipped and shared among the three plates.

jay, I'm simultaneously ROFL and screaming inside at the idea of a Nawamin/Kim-Joy tearoom. Can you imagine the cuteness overload? 😱😱😱😱

I love cod and I love mash, but don't mess with my mash, black pudding my arse

I like Annabel. She seems no nonsense.