Thank you for coming back to the thread Jane. Ill try to explain my questions, the best I can...Ill try my best to be brief (No promises).
Ok when I was around 4 or 5 I refused to wear my normal "girls" clothes. I know I did before this age, as I have pics of me in the usual girly attire.
Throughout my childhood I had friends, both boys and girls. I know that I spent most of my time with the boys as I preferred their methods of play and interaction. My dad was a carpenter. I spent lots of time working with him, creating things from wood, on various building sites. I had absolutely no interest in "girly" things.
Growing up I wore clothes and shoes the same as my male friends. My hair was cropped short. My parents wondered where they went wrong, but allowed me to be "me". I squatted over the toilet, rather than sat on it. I had a fantastic childhood, being "me". I wished and wanted to be a boy. I cant say I felt like a boy because, obviously, I didn't know how it "felt" to be a boy. But I really wished I was a boy. Swimming I took my top off because, you know, boys dont wear bikini tops. Nobody noticed. I told anyone, who didn't know me, that I was a boy. I was accepted as being a boy. Fast forward....
On my 16th birthday my dad bought me some heeled shoes. That was the worst moment of my life. I didn't know how to react - so I threw the shoes and had a tantrum (sad but true!).
Around this time I gave up on life (well humans anyway). I was, later, given a collie pup and I spent all my time with her, training her and really wanting to be a "farmer". I won the young "Shepherd of the year" competition. I really had given up on life with humans. My friends were changing. They had deep voices and were shaving. Suddenly I didn't belong in their group anymore. I was a disappointment to my parents.
Once I hit around 18/19 I saw my male friends as something other than just friends, and realised that I was a "girl who fancied blokes". Since that time I realised I am female. I still dont wear dresses. Very rarely I wear make up but I know I am female. I married and gave birth to 3 children. One I had to deliver, dead, before time as I had cancer of the womb and needed urgent treatment, including an emergency hysterectomy. That was the worst moment of my life.
I went on to adopt 2 children. Social Services, during my assessment, being what they are, wanted my life history - warts and all - I discussed my early years with them. They told me it is perfectly "normal" for children to want to be the opposite sex, as they try to make sense of this world. Too much info about that to share.
When I was 27 I was raped, on my way home from a hen party. That, for me, was the turning point. Never again did I want any part in any penis.
Throughout my life as a boy never did I consider wanting to pee in a men's public toilet.
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I have tried to condense it. The main thing for me is if there had been a thing as puberty blockers at that time I would have been a perfect candidate for them. Since the age of 21 I have enjoyed being a wife and mother. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I dont need dresses and make up to feel female. Look around you....most women dont wear dresses and make up, unless some narcissistic bloke boss feels a woman is only beautiful if they wear pretty clothes and make up...Usually for office receptionists.
What exactly does it feel like to feel female? I am approaching 60 in a few years time. I have no idea what it feels like to feel female. What does being "female" feel like? Likewise, I have no idea what it feels like to feel male...Why would I?
One of the boys in my primary school only played with girls. He was accepted for himself. Us kids didn't expect anything else from him. He went on for gender realignment surgery in his 40's.
If you are still with me I just wonder now why any child would want hormone blockers or to become the opposite sex. If girls want to be builders now, they can. If boys want to be ballet dancers, they can.
Does it mean years of therapy, hormone blockers, surgery just to be "You"?
Also if women, and it sounds like people with disibilities, have to move over to accept women with penises into our personal spaces, how do we know who are genuine transwomen (I'm sorry if that's not an acceptable word these days. There are lots of dictionary changes, that I haven't got my head around), and those who are jumping on the "Trans ID" bandwagon to gain legal access to vulnerable women, children and people with disibilities.
Thank you if you got to the end of it...