Is anyone rewatching Friends on Netflix?

[QueenOfTheAndals]

I was a big fan back in the day and thought Ross and Rachel were so romantic but upon rewatching, he's really unpleasant isn't he? Controlling, manipulative, gaslighting - I bet she lived to regret not taking the job in Paris!

And Joey is meant to be a big stud but he's just a bit of a sex pest and extremely stupid!

And yes I know it's "just a tv show" but it's funny how I'm noticing these things now and didn't when I first watched it.

I found this article on everything Rachel ever wore in Friends. It's a good way to waste some time!

I absolutely LOVE and can quote swathes of script and would get every question right if it were my subject on mastermind (when it has been a subject I have )

BUT even at the time

Ross - emotionally abusive selfish spoilt arse (note if you don't like Ross you'll HATE David schwimmer - he's Ross PLUS believes he is a great auteur director in spite of evidence to the contrary - totally up his own arse!)

Joey - misogynistic sex pest, quite homophobic too.

Chandler - well I adore him so hard to critique but the commitment phobic version was annoying. Also quite homophobic.

Rachel - spoilt entitled selfish wee madam! Not surprised Monica had to make the others (apart from Ross I presume) be nice to her when she first moved in. But by the time Gavin (dermot mulroney) came along Rachel had her head on fairly straight, I was disappointed that storyline vanished.

Monica - undiagnosed OCD (I'm diagnosed myself), also controlling and manipulative. But mainly as a result of a shitty upbringing by toxic parents - mother clearly npd and dad enables. Monica scapegoat.

"I was always perplexed that Monica was meant to be OCD yet the apartment looked so unbearably cluttered" I have diagnosed OCD - it's really about SO much more than being "tidy". It was eclectically furnished but there were things like NEVER Move the green ottoman, sofa had to be in the PERFECT alignment with the rug, tv and coffee table etc

Phoebe - again I love her! She's flaky and bonkers but very accepting of people that are "different". I even like she has a bit of an edge.

Mike - omg SO BORING feel sorry for Phoebe she shoulda married David. Plus mikes mother is a fucking nightmare of a dismissive snob! (Love the actress that plays her though)

Carol and Susan's relationship was actually portrayed I thought very nicely. (Ignoring carols infidelity) Especially when Ross (nobody is all bad) talks to carol about not letting her parents homophobia stop her from having her wedding.

Gunther - creepy stalker type.

Emily - selfish, irresponsible, controlling nightmare. When she and Ross met she was in a relationship, by the time they (finally) split they'd only KNOWN each other just over 2 months - bonkers irresponsible (and yes I apply that to Ross too)

I'm WAY over invested but I think

Ross and Rachel married (we know this from the spin off Joey) had another kid but ended up divorced as Rachel FINALLY saw through him.

Phoebe divorces Mike after his parents passed and he was very wealthy and got a great settlement then married David and had loads of kids and is a real earth mother.

Chandler and Monica actually coped well with the twins and then just after twins' first birthday discover Monica pregnant (Drs never said they wouldn't just it would be hard ) chandler handles Monica's parents very well when they're stressing her out. Chandler doing really well in advertising and Monica happy to be sahm for now but caters for events for friends and family. Maybe developing a healthy baby food range.

I'm in my 40's I remember bloody awful things like "mind your language" and carry on films! Not remotely acceptable now and barely acceptable then even, but as I said on the dodgy songwriters thread I don't agree with censorship - art of all kinds shines a light on unacceptable behaviour so it CAN be critiqued and discussed. Plus humour is almost always about provocation, discussing the awkward, challenging people's prejudices.

Hebemumsnet I had a Rachel haircut (it actually suited me) and the lipstick was more brown than nude - Google 90's lips? You'll see it on Clare Danes, charmed girls - lots of 90's celebs, and me I DIDN'T suit that (very pale freckly skin looks much better on darker tones).

"Did we all wear such hideous shoes?! I’ve yet to see a pair that isn’t a variation on low platform mules. Yuck!" Yep sorry I had several pairs of clunky mules that I loved (they were very comfy) and a pair of shoes like in attached pic

"See also: roll neck jumpers with necklaces on the outside" still wear that - with blazer style jacket - again - sorry

"they'd both changed on that time." Oh you think so? Check out season 10 ep 14 - mark turns up again and once Rachel reminds Ross he gets all jealous again until Rachel tells him he's married and just had twins!

But lots of people AVOIDING the crucial question - were they on a break? 😬 personally while I think they WERE on a break it was a shitty thing to do and showed he didn't care about Rachel as deeply as he claimed. THREE HOURS after they split! Wtf!

"My ex's teenage children constantly have it on E4" how long ago did you split? It's not been on e4 for YEARS

"That's because it wasn't"

I love only fools - but yea it really was! Loads of examples.

Fair bit of homophobia in frasier too, Shame for David Hyde pierce (out) and John Mahoney (believed to be gay but not out - also English!).

I had the official book at one point op, in that the wardrobe lady was explaining how they decided on the outfits etc, Rachel the challenge in the early seasons was to show her interest and knowledge of high fashion BUT dressing her in pieces a broke waitress could afford, then as she gradually did better career wise the pieces got more expensive.

Joeys clothes were apparently in keeping with his queens background so a little more old fashioned than the others.

Carol and Susan's relationship was actually portrayed I thought very nicely

Yes but do you remember when Carol is pregnant and they are all discussing the baby's surname? They want to double barrel Susan and Carols surname and ignore Ross's name. That was one of the few times I felt sorry for Ross. Yes, I'm also over invested.

Yes former I felt for Ross then too, Susan was stepmum no need to have her surname in there.

I do wonder what surname Ben ended up with and if either carol or Susan changed name on marriage.

What???? It's great, loved it in 90s and still catch on Comedy Central from time to time.

It's dated but the same could be said of most things from the mid 90s. It's an easy watch while I'm stuck on the sofa with a limpet baby.

"Susan was stepmum no need to have her surname in there. "

But a stepmum who was there from even before the birth is not your average stepmum. In this country, I presume that if Carol was married to Susan and went to register the birth on her own, the child would be registered as Susan and Carol's.

Also, in a lesbian relationship one of the women is usually not biologically related to the child so Susan could have seen herself in that way as the non-biological mother and Ross as merely a donor.

"It was more a satchel than a handbag and I do see men carrying something similar on my morning tube commute!"

Yes, and they call it a man bag rather than a satchel. It obviously wasn't in fashion for men those days though so was seen as a handbag and I think he started using makeup too. That's till a taboo thing for masculine men to do.

"Joey - misogynistic sex pest, quite homophobic too. "

What? When was he a misogynist? He wasn't a sex pest. He was promiscuous and probably had commitment issues (father was an adulterer), but he didn't pester women. He chatted them up with the simple 'How you doin' and they liked him.

I don't know about Chandler and Joey being homophobic. Did they really discriminate against gay people or did they just not want people to think they were gay.

"Gunther - creepy stalker type. "

He had a crush on Rachel and admired her from afar. He never stalked her.

We've been watching it with DC and haven't had any issues with any of it tbh. I'm normally the first to wince at something unsuitable but apart from the obvious sex references which DS(13) struggles with through embarrassment, I've found it fine.

I wasn't a big fan first time around but am enjoying watching it with them. It's been fun watching the fashions, showing DC what life was like without mobile phones, explaining what a pager is and seeing the size of the computer monitor on Chandler's desk.

Rachel's still selfish. Ross is funnier than I remember. I didn't think he was controlling, but maybe that's because I don't like Rachel*. DC adore Chandler and Phoebe. And I love Chandler and Monica together.

*The episode we watched tonight is when Rachel made Monica tell everyone her worst thanksgiving, which ended up with Monica and Chandler arguing. What did Rachel think she was doing? She's so unpleasant.

Gwen wasn't a donor though he was a fully engaged father, Ben was conceived while Ross and carol were still together. And was born before carol and Susan were married - he was adorable in a decorated pram at the wedding.

Joey did make quite a few "that's not very manly" type comments. Eg Re dumping Janice (again) "just be a man and stop calling!", also assuming that every woman was attracted to him unless they were a lesbian or he'd actively turned them off, sleeps with women giving the impression there will be an ongoing relationship, his interview questions for potential new flat mates, he objectifies all women even his friends. Extensive porn use. He also overstepped boundaries like undoing bras without consent.

Chandler feels threatened by any hint of effeminacy or homosexuality in his friends or himself I'd say that's pretty much the definition of homophobia. They also had NO gay friends - even at work.

Gunther I said "stalker TYPE"

"Gwen wasn't a donor though he was a fully engaged father, Ben was conceived while Ross and carol were still together. And was born before carol and Susan were married - he was adorable in a decorated pram at the wedding. "

Yes, I knew that Ross wasn't really a donor, but I did think Ben had been with Carol and Susan from the beginning, must have got that part wrong. I was looking at is from Susan's point of view, thinking that her situation wasn't very different from any other lesbian non-biological mother.

"just be a man and stop calling!"
That was a joke surely!

"assuming that every woman was attracted to him unless they were a lesbian"

Most of them were. That makes him over-confident, possibly smug or arrogant, but not misogynist.

" sleeps with women giving the impression there will be an ongoing relationship"

Oh please. If you sleep with someone straight away, you must know there's a chance it's only casual. If those women only wanted sex within a relationship, they wouldn't sleep with him on a first date. Both parties were having the casual sex.
I don't remember the thing about the porn, but I believe the vast majority of men use porn and that doesn't make them misogynists.

I don't remember the bra thing, but I have no argument against that one.

"Chandler feels threatened by any hint of effeminacy or homosexuality in his friends or himself I'd say that's pretty much the definition of homophobia. "

I completely disagree with that. Homophobia is hatred of gay people. Feeling insecure in yourself that people might think you're gay (possibly because of the trauma caused by your father becoming trans) is not homophobic. Most people not in the closet want to be recognised for the sexuality they are, not another one mainly because you will be seen as unavailable to the sex you like, otherwise. Most single, straight people don't want people to think they're gay for this reason.

And the relevance of not having any gay friends? At times in my life, I had more gay friends than straight ones, but I can't think of anyone I see very regularly now who's gay. It's just random, plus there were probably fewer 'out' people a couple of decades ago.

Good article supporting Friends here: metro.co.uk/2018/01/13/actually-friends-isnt-problematic-or-homophobic-heres-why-7226484/

This is my third time of watching and it still makes DH and I smile.

I was a bit taken aback by Ross' behaviour at Rachel's office on their anniversary and the lead up to the break. Totally controlling and I don't understand why I didn't spot it before.

But the rest I still enjoy. Yes, Joey is a flirt, Chandler hides his insecurity behind jokes and geeky Ross actually goes out with the most popular girl in school that he's had a crush on for years and feels insecure about it. Rachel grows up and Monica chills out.

Homophobic? I don't think so. Carol and Susan are portrayed sympathetically and of COURSE Ross is gutted that his wife turned out to be lesbian. It meant the end of the relationship with a woman he loved. Chandler is a straight guy with a gay father. Unsurprisingly he doesn't want people to think he is by association because they'd be wrong. They don't have gay friends as such but they don't express dislike either - Phoebe married a gay ice capade.

My DC used to watch sometimes twice a night when it was on E4 so it was a good way to describe situations or feelings - it's like that time on Friends when.....

Just watching series 1 - I hadn't noticed that Carol, Ross's wife, is different in this series.

Carols only different in the first episode i think. I still love it, although wondering how rachel made it to episode 5 without doing any laundry

I've watched 2 episodes and Carol is the same actress in both, but different from the later (Meryl Streep-like) actress.

"[Ben] was born before carol and Susan were married - he was adorable in a decorated pram at the wedding. "

But not before they were together so Susan had been around since before his birth. Not the average step-parent situation.

And I've said this on another thread but really, Ross is TERRIBLE. Really bad. If it's noticeable to younger people, then I can only hope that that means that today's youths won't put up with this sort of shit as much

Unfortunately I think things are worse for young women now then they ever were. I work with teens and some of the things they accept from "boyfriends" is pretty depressing. Don't get me started on the normalising of texting compromising pics of themselves, being publicly shamed on social media etc etc. I think the people calling out friends for misogyny are more likely to be people now in their thirties that watched it first time round rather then young/ teenage people.

I for one love friends, dinosaurs and all. The Channel 4 reruns that used to be on got me laughing when I was on maternity leave with my dd's

Ross is cute. There is no nastiness to his character.

I'm 46 and have never had any gay friends. I have gay family members. Not every TV programme has to be diverse!

No not every show but it was set not only in New York but they supposedly Greenwich village, where stonewall is? Has a huge lgbt population.

Was also criticised for being very too White.

Sorry supposedly LIVED in Greenwich village