EASTENDERS 14 - NO SPOILERS

[Blondeshavemorefun]

well after a flurry of fabulous poems we are needing a new thread

so we know ian has diabetes

we know max is after revenge, to seems all on the square,and is happy to stitch up his brother jack

personally i think matthew should be with his dad charlie ......

whitney is getting closer to mick

when will mick reliese shirley has signed away the pub

has the bullying of bex stopped and now its louise?

how do stacey and martin cope financially? esp as due xmas

think bobbie may be back,with new head prob at xmas,he would have done his time .......

who will woody shag next in the pub

will jane be able to walk soon?

will lauren get preg via stabbing stephen

Remember when he offered someone a bowl of 'loop the loop'. (Soup). That's when I knew for sure he was making it up!

Also he said to Johnny (or it might have been Whit) 'you're having a bubble' and I couldn't think what that could be haha - bubble bath = laugh. This might be a proper one though...

I think thats a real one fizzy - i have heard that one before.
I do not understand the slang words for money.
i was brought up in the east end and nobody used to speak like DD does - we were not all Ronnie or Reggie Kray either! It was invented in the 1800s by criminals to put the police off the scent ( i assume they didnt know what was being talked about, it was their own little language)
I heard Danny baker talking about it once on his radio show, i had no idea.

80s no I don't understand the slang words for money either!

I was honestly wondering who taught Dire to speak! Doing bird is a term I had never heard of, the way he speaks to business people as well is so cringe

Doing bird is quite a well known one: birdlime = time. Google suggests that loop the loop is also a real one

I knew having a bubble and doing bird were real.

Loop the loop is hysterical - I'm not sure I'm pleased it's real or not

Aw, thanks for the bubbly Venella

I have a wee giggle every time I think of Danny Dire knitting his brows saying "I don't know oooh I aaam anyee more Muvva". Probably not the response he was hoping for bless him.

I'm sure I heard Mock talking about a 'pony' for money too. No idea how much though.
He seems to talk the same way in real life, too.

I haven't met him, just to add! He was on the BBC family history programme a while ago

£25 = Pony

AN ODE TO MICK

Mick, Mick
You're such a prick
With your Cockney Rhyming Slang
Your constant squinting is doing my nut
As is Whitney
Who you didn't bang.

We don't care
'Cos she's a daft mare
We're glad she buggered off
So there!
With hairy spiders stuck to her eyes
Now do us a favour
Head to Specsavers
Because they'll test your mince pies.

We hear you earn 400 grand!?
You're really 'aving a bubble
We like your mum, 'cos she threw Whit out
So buy your old girl a double
Of course you can afford it
Don't give us that pony and trap!
So stick a smile on your boat race
Or us mumsnetters will give you a slap.

Or falling that you could simply
Answer all our prayers
Just put on Linda's pink dressing gown
And tumble down the apple and pears.

It was Dire in the Vic without you
But it's more so now you're back
You need a new drum
To hang your tit-fer- tat
We'll help you pack
Just sod off do
And can you please take Jack.

Bravo cary! Fab.
I love the rhyming. Very clever.

welcome fizzy

1 nugget
5 lady godiva
10 cock and hen
15 whicker basket
20 score
25 pony
50 bullseye
100 ton
500 monkey
1000 bag of sand
100k plum

blondes bows

Cary I'm sat in garden reading this. My neighbours must think I've just had some strange episode as i pissed myself laughing at that

I learnt most of my Cockney rhyming slang off Delboy 😂😂😂😂😂

Mangetout Cary!
Gosh, so many slang terms for money.

So Mick earns four faaasand nuggets then! He's not worth a Happy Meal let alone that lot.

Thanks for your lovely comments

I am brewing a Patrarchan sonnet about Dee, so you have been warned in case you wish to avoid! x

A sonnet is a fab idea.

Blondes thank you and thank you also for the currency table - very useful for future episodes

Cary wow, what a poem! I laughed out loud, you are so talented! Can't wait for the Dee poem haha.

Apparently DD is the highest paid member of the show . June Brown gets £300K, Steve McFadden £310K and Adam Woodyatt £260K.

Fuck me

Another massive meal abandoned in the café by someone who's supposed to be skint