Never Kyiv Up On UK: It's Eurovision 2017!

[SuffolkNWhat]

Come one come all and welcome to Suffolk's annual Eurovision bonanza!

Brexit smexit as we join Mel, Scott and Graham for another year of big ballads, unusual visuals and quite frankly bizarre promos.

This year we are in Kyiv in Ukraine after they won with a not so subtle dig at Putin, what will this year bring?

The audience were a lot more lively in Sweden last year

This is one of the most boring years, I reckon

I never want to hear him again. I'll have to pick another country to support

What the fuck is she doing?

She looks like Geri Haliwell.

Bye Bye Brendan.

20? Months or weeks? The guy's a fetus!

Heavy petting!

20???? He's a very late developer then.

and this is like a pastiche of every cheesy 80's duet, ever.

And after Eyebrowed Castrati comes Cruise Ship GlitterTat.

He's quite nice. Where is San Marino again? Do they still have a Grand Prix?

That guy has a nice voice shame about her and the song.

They are so going home.

I'm really liking Romania's chances of making the final with their yodelling rap song. Not much competition yet...

This reminds me of that singing teacher couple who did that god awful CBeebies programme with the weird dog thing, what was it called?

Lineys it is very Love Boat. Perfect with chicken in a basket. and a cinzano.

San Marino is a duchy in Italy isn't it?

This is the opera one

Suffolk you dreamed that on an acid trip, surely

Pop-opera fusion coming up.

I loved San Marino.

it's a European Go Compare man.

with a split personality.

Oh really Liney explain this then!

Wasn't it called Popshop Suffolk?

Its Bono and Pavarotti in one body.