Married at first sight!?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Anyone else watching this madness?!

Moltenpink: legally, you have to be married for a year before you can file for divorce. So technically still married, but separated.

MaryPoppinsPenguins: I don't know if they did get anything wrong. I think Adam and I were compatible in a lot of the ways they could measure, it was just the immeasurable ones that didn't work out. The process is very tough and is months of questions, measurements etc, but matters of the heart can't always be worked out by science and that's the risk I knew I was taking from the start.

Thanks for answering. Are you going to stick around on mumsnet? It's a great site

I am! Long time listener, first time caller

Did you get to meet the other couples?
(Sorry for multiple questions... my daughter is up ill so I'm awake!)

We all found each other after the first episode had aired and most of us have met now. I watched the last 2 episodes at Caroline and Adam's place (with Nigel the rabbit!) and us girls catch up quite often. They've been an amazing support and are lifelong friends.

Ah so lovely to hear your perspective on it Sara, I was impressed by your commitment to trying to make it work with Adam. Shame it didn't work out, but all the best for dating. What do you think you learned about marriage from the whole process?

Do you think it would have helped if you could have met the other couples whilst you were going through the process? Although I joked about the Australian series where the couples all have a meal together (and at least one couple usually finds it all too much) it's also an opportunity for them to support each other through the process and to be honest with the other couples in a way they can't be with their family, friends, etc.

MrsJamin: although we didn't know each other when we got married, the gravity of how serious the commitment was certainly was there! There was a security we could all have with each other in how honest we could be and I think that's so important for any relationship. I'm still a strong believer in marriage, maybe even more than before! I think people can marry for all sorts of reasons and people can be very quick to judge, I certainly think twice before I judge anyone's relationship now! I think people underestimate just how hard it can be at times too.

APlaceOnTheCouch: I think it would have been difficult for all the couples to have met because it's easy to compare your situation to others when it's totally different but I would have liked to have had the support of the girls a little earlier and I think the boys might have benefited from it too.

MrsJamin thank you for your lovely comments too!

Ok, people are being FAR to polite so I'm going to ask a direct question! Who made the first move to separate? I can imagine that was really difficult! Also,are there lawyers to ensure your finances are completely separate, do you have to make wills etc at the beginning?

Feel free to ignore if too personal

Hi Sara! Thanks so much for answering our questions :) really sorry it didn't work out for you but I think your so brave for having a go. QueenMortificado said about the editing is it really edited different to real life? Thanks so much :)

I thought you could get an annulment if the marriage hadn't been consummated? Yes I'm being far too personal but I bet we're all thinking it! Sara, thanks for coming on here and posting, and obviously you don't have to answer if you don't want to. How long ago was this filmed?

Hi Sara! So excited to see you here, because I totally fell in love with the navy and white striped halterneck - you looked amazing in it. Where's it from? I've been looking for it!

Sara, is some kind of contract put in place beforehand to protect any assets being brought into the marriage by one partner or another?

So for example Adam (Dave Cameron ) owns a flat... does Caroline have any claim to the property if they split?

Gast - that's exactly what I was thinking

Dame: I think we both knew that there were things that we both felt were missing but Adam instigated it. It was an emotional conversation for both of us and we both said we would be in each others lives hopefully forever and cared very much about each other, just not in a husband and wife way. It was very sad though. I stick at things for longer than I probably should so I was willing to keep trying a bit longer but in hindsight it was the right time to make the decision.

Yes, everything was in place to protect us all legally. I think that was important to all of us, whether it was current or future assets. I wouldn't have gone into it without that in place and I don't think I'm the only one!

Gast (and everyone else!) I'm just going to say that there was a mutual attraction there and we will be getting a divorce rather than an annulment...

Gast: we got married in June and decision day was 5 weeks later. The final episode did update to last week though.

LauraDane: it's inevitable that what you saw on the show won't be exactly how it is in real life. For example, I think Caroline's personality was taken the wrong way by the public and it wasn't nice to see how much she was judged (and how unnecessarily nasty some people were!). She has a great (but quite sarcastic!) sense of humour and Adam totally gets her. Some of the things that she meant as tongue in cheek seemed on tv to just be nasty, which was not the case. Also bear in mind that you don't see any other part of our days or lives that might influence our moods on a particular day...editing months into hours misses a lot of context!

SeasonalVag (great name!): thank you!! It's a vintage piece from Portobello! I think you'd probably be able to find a pattern online though and make a bit of a project!

I'm glad you've all made such good friends through the process. It seems incredibly intense

SaraMay so sorry I thought it was you I saw. It was only a quick glance. I have loved watching the series.

It must be really odd reading about yourself and how strangers see you. I couldn't put myself under that scrutiny. I hope Caroline has taken in her stride.

APlaceOnTheCouch I really have, they're all great people and I have so much respect and admiration for all of them for doing this, it's very tough but I would do it all over again!

Glastonbury thank you! I thought I may have had a missing twin there for a minute

Lois she is a very strong woman, as we all are, but there were some really nasty things that were said. I'll never understand how people can be so mean to someone they don't know.

Thank you so much for all the lovely messages!

Wow Sara so great that you've popped up and you that it was a positive experience for you both.

One question from me, before we got married We had to go see the registrar together to give notice(a legal requirement I think) and asked questions about each other (to check it wasn't a sham marriage etc, not suggesting for one second that yours was a sham). How did you/the producers get round that complication?

Frazzled: we did go to see the registrar (Cynthia, she was amazing!) separately who asked us a lot of questions about our understanding and commitment of the marriage. You also had to prove that you are a UK citizen, psychologically sound, no criminal record, financially stable as part of the application process, as well as getting character references...basically everything you'd like to know when you first start dating someone to know they're a decent person!

I've never really understood the venom for Caroline, yes she was a bit stroppy about the breakfast, but I thought the comments she made about Adam's house were funny. He was certainly happy with her so who are we to judge?

Thanks for answering the question Sara, I honestly would have understood if you'd told me to bugger off!

Hi Sara, lovely to see you posting. I did wonder if any of you would be reading online comments and discussions.

I think the comments on Caroline are mostly fair, based on what the audience has seen. I find it very hard to see past her reaction and how she treated Adam over the breakfast, and in fact if it was the other way around and a man was to behave like that, we would consider it to be abusive.

If Caroline feels she's been unfairly portrayed then I guess that's something for her to take up with the programme makers.

I personally thought her behaviour towards Adam was moody, sulky, and at one point downright nasty.

If one of the guys had behaved as she had over breakfast - then tried to brush it off as one of his quirks, and had also done a piece to camera saying, "I'm going to change her clothes, change her haircut..." he'd have been flamed.