The Apprentice 2016

[Dillite2]

It is that time of the year when we get to enjoy watching a bunch of incompetent baffoons try an impress Lord Suranal, whilst we laugh and mock them from our sofa's.

I am reading all of their quotes in this morning's Metro and I already want to slap each and every one of them.

I have had to walk out of the room before I put my foot through the telly. I cannot bear Karthik. He's an appalling man!

The stupid comment re the conception of his child! My DH said he must have outsourced it. No woman could stand it, surely?

Courtney had him bang to rights. An empty vessel makes the most noise! Sorry I can't bear him (have I said that??)

Can you imagine being married to him?

raised i am with you. Karthik is a pain in the arse.

I bet she begged him to go on the Apprentice in the hope he'd bugger off for 12 weeks. I'd tear him a new one if he talked about the conception of my child like that on the TV!

So glad karthick has gone. Horrible little man.

The conception comment was odd as hell, not only that but the fact he seems to think on one else could possibly know. The big weirdo.

That invisible bike is an amazing gift!

I loved Karthik but I have to concede he had to go. However, I still maintain he did well on the Liberty's task. Yes, he was smarmy but he found a customer who liked to be smarmed - though I accept he probably doesn't have any other mode.

Frances was a revelation. She's just the sort of person who'd get ignored - small, cute and squeaky. But that was a masterstroke to separate Paul and Sofiane and only explain to the camera why she did it. And also the way she told them all to behave themselves - it was cheery but there was a bit of a threat there.

I'm also warming to Jessica, though I'm hoping those plaits were just an anti-frizz device. I laughed when she nearly had someone's eye out with the fishing rod, whereas in the first week when she kept pretending to throw vases, I wanted to kill her.

And I don't think her lies were terrible. I'm sure Lady Brady told bigger ones when explaining how West Ham got such a good deal on the Olympic Stadium. But then Brady is always publicly high-minded about business and itching to deliver a lecture about How Women Should Do It.

Karthik was nicknamed carsick in our house from about week 2!!

I do wonder if he knows the exact date and time because it's the only time his wife has agreed to sleep with him?

Grainne is my favourite out of the women so far, I am finding the others either 'woe is me' or being so girly I can't take them seriously

Thank fuck Karthik and Samuel went last night. Both terrible. Well I knew I was conceiving my child before it happened so fuck you Karthik .

Can't stand Sofian, hopefully he will be gone next. Don't like Francis either but I feel she may stay for a while.

I want Courtney, Grainne or Trishna for the final. Interviews to be those 3 plus maybe Paul and Jessica although I reckon Francis could be there. I'm not sure Alana and Dillon will last too much longer tbh. Sofian has to go next.

It would have went much better if the weather wasn't so awful andwfulndndnit definitely wasn't Courtney and Grainne's fault that people didn't pass the credit checks. I think they got unlucky whilst the other team got lucky. They were certainly a lot more professional a d put put a lot more effort info getting all the stats unlike the other team.

Jessica has definitely grown on me.

They film all the taxi bits early on so way before they actually get fired. Rebecca had trousers on in the taxi last week but a dress in the boardroom.

I hate Paul. All he ever does is flounce and snipe but because he's blokey he gets away with it.

Sir Anal is the same, but because he's blokey he gets away with it too! As if anybody in real life would allow themselves to be spoken to in that way.

Raisedbyguineapigs - I couldn't agree more about Karthik and the 'project managing the conception of my child' thing - what sort of total knob says something like that - and he was serious too! I said to dh that, if I were Mrs Karthik, I would have torn him to shreds when I saw that bit - dh said no, she'd be straight to the divorce lawyer!!

I know it was a bit rotten of me, but I couldn't help laughing at the margin between the two teams' results! £188 vs £40,ooo+ - has there ever been a bigger margin between winning and losing on the Apprentice?

And I cringed at the bit they showed on 'You're Fired' of Paul grooming Karthik - that made me queasy.

Do I mean Paul? The very well groomed chap with the silver grey hair.

Isn't Dillon the one with silver hair?

You're right - I meant Dillon - sorry!

I know it was a bit rotten of me, but I couldn't help laughing at the margin between the two teams' results! £188 vs £40,ooo+ - has there ever been a bigger margin between winning and losing on the Apprentice?

Well I'm rotten too. I might have actually hooted with laughter.

In fact has a project leader ever been sacked before they have been asked to being two back? I'm pretty sure they haven't.

I think I might say that I protect managed DC1's conception as I know place/date/time. Well admittely because we didn't want children and it was the ONE time we took a risk well ok we were drunk and i completely got the date wrong and realised the next morning I was in fact 10 days into my cycle not 2. Project managed is nicer than 'fucked up'.

What's the woman's name that was talking about canapés rather than canopies?

In fact has a project leader ever been sacked before they have been asked to being two back? I'm pretty sure they haven't.

Can't remember it happening in UK Apprentice but remember Trump doing it once.

Seems to me Samuel had more going for him than either of the other two who survived.

on another note, doesn't voice-over man say "continues" in a very odd way at the end? As in, 'Lord Sugar's search for his next business partner...conTINuews'.

I dislike Paul but if he gets to the interview stage losing his cool will be epic.

Jessica has really grown on me, hope she gets a lot further.

My order of who to go is...
Alana
Sofiane
Courteney
Paul

Like the others

I loved Karthik. I hope he does celeb BB or something!

Let's be honest. They are all absolutely rubbish.
Karthik was an idiot, but at least he was entertaining

doesn't voice-over man say "continues" in a very odd way at the end? As in, 'Lord Sugar's search for his next business partner...conTINuews'.

I haven't heard Lord Sugar say: 'reZOOmay' this series. Perhaps he's saving it for the interview round.

I think a PM has gone before. I remember a series where the sub team leader had to choose who to bring back in. It wasn't that long ago so in the last couple of series.

I hate the way Evan Davis says 'cauter', no its quarter ffs! It's not "a cauter of a million pound investment"

Just checking in for tonight's episode.

Hello! How are we all tonight?