Masterchef..........

[BertrandRussell]

....anyone know when it's back? I'm pining.

Ok so only veg in the Wellington I wouldn't have bothered with the pastry

Liked Shelia and the Italian woman - other one - no.

Julie is a sweetie. She's like Sarah Lancashire's older, shorter, less glamorous sister.

I love that Julie's barely managing to sound civil to all Gregg's ''ave you got time?' enquiries.

I caught Mali as she went out the door but didnt see her cooking, pah

I'm so sorry Farty. You think you know a person ...

I like her attitude. "If they come out, they come out"

Knob-Gregg is annoyingly hands on isn't he.

Purdy pudding! I love panna cotta

I like Julie. Yummy scrummy.

Except Sarah is form Lancashire and nurse y is from Yorkshire. Fundamental mistake

Julie ought to knee Gregg in the knackers, quite frankly. And we'd all cheer.

I really want cake now.

Jackie still has that pained and panicked expression on her face. All my old irritation with her is flooding back. Hello irritation my old friend.

Penises! On jay cloth!!

Oh I'd pay good money to see that MeolsCop

Words, I know. I'm a Lancastrian

Meols who would blame her! I'd stick some bunting up.

Isn't it all cold whilst he's been faffing with carrots?

I don't want my food piped, smeared or tweezered. No no no. Or foam.

Then you're forgiven. So am I

Urgh sweaty moustache

Looks a bit bristley - all sticking up

I'd shag Twirly purely so I could lean over him while he slept and cut the moustache off.

Wasn't Jackie vegetarian?