Master chef the Professionals. Marcus, come and criticise our suveè.

[Fuckerysmuckeryboilsnspornery]

A week to go till we can snuggle down under a warm blanquette of jus.
What will this season fig and samphire be?

I bet Ben is the chef the critics will be getting a semi for.

Textures of chocolate. Nothing to go wrong there.

Evening. Bit late to the crumb'n'croquette party, sorry.

I'm not sure about Luciana's menu. It sounds a bit healthy.

Acai berries taste of nowt.
What has the Iceman made?

We could have a drinking game. Shot for every time mw says fantastic.

Arf @ William Sitwell's male model slo-mo walk

Smear him* in butter and send him to my tent please.

*Jay

Why the random flower?
"Nice" I don't want nice.

I am with Mary Berry when she insists that everything on the plate needs to be edible.

What's with the fucking lump of wood?
That sorbet looks a bit.....pooey.

I'm offended by that sluggy pudding.

ugh.

I don't want a pudding that will improve my bowel health thank you very much.

growinggoldwithcustard Jay is on a diet so I'll rub a bit of One Cal Spray on his loins and send him to you directly.

Im late to the thread again. That fucker DH has been getting me ti proof read his book for him.

That sounds like a proper pud.

Halibut looks lovely. Like a bit of golden brown.
Come on with the pud.

That'll have to do squoosh, so long as he is lovely and slippery.

I'm liking the look of that chocolate thing...

How rude of him, didn't he know Marcus was waiting for you?

Tidy sock drawer! LOL

I really really want to eat that. I may have to settle for a spoon of Nutella.

Charles Campion has a bit of the Toad of Toad Halls about him. All he needs are goggles and a motor car.

That looks delicious, whether the sock drawer is tidy or messy.

I like Danny even though to look at him you wouldn't think he could even unwrap a Dairylea triangle.