Master chef the Professionals. Marcus, come and criticise our suveè.

[Fuckerysmuckeryboilsnspornery]

A week to go till we can snuggle down under a warm blanquette of jus.
What will this season fig and samphire be?

This one is doing it very weirdly. Even I'd guess to treat it like a big squid.

We're slightly behind. DP is loving the way arrogant 20-something is doing the dish.

Didn't he cook mackerel? Must be so hard to cook something you're allergic to.

Cooking stuff you're allergic too must be tough. It's not like you can taste it.

Yi yi yi. Exactly, Monica.

Howe of you figure out mackerel goes with peanut if you can't taste it?

Calamity, DP reckons he knows exactly which Michelin-star chef Ben works for, and experimenting with fish is literally part of a day's work... We could be wrong...

That looks pretty unappetising.

Marcus's polenta looks grim tonight.

Tbh, experimenting with fish doesn't narrow the Michelin starred chef field down that much.

I wonder if anyone has rushed for some additional liver.

If you're going to be a cheffy chef, you need to love offal. It's the law.

Ugh. Nothing edible in this round.

Oh that looks awful. So awful. Don't let me down Luciana.

I agree. None of this sounds nice.

Sweetbread and liver pie. Bleurgh.

I think Marcus has a crush.

Just offal.

So another young 'un falls.

Go Luciana! To have Marcus Wareing say her pastry is the shortest he's ever tasted must be amazing.

I see Anton, the joint winner from two years ago, has just won his first Michelin star.

I didn't appreciate Luciana making glad eyes at my Marcus. If she's not careful she'll end up in a pastry casing!

That's cool, Mimsy. Good to see a winner doing well.

Evening. "That sounds different" -that sounds rank.
I just want someone to say suve vide is overrated.

I'll say it!

Boiled meat is overrated. Sounds like something Slimming World would recommend.

That looks yum.

Wow, praise indeed!