Master chef the Professionals. Marcus, come and criticise our suveè.

[Fuckerysmuckeryboilsnspornery]

A week to go till we can snuggle down under a warm blanquette of jus.
What will this season fig and samphire be?

Oh dear, dull and late.

Cats we agree on something else !

Mmn mossy green turds

It's like a little nutty poo on a plate.

Oh god no

Bleurgh. Off to the tower

To the sad little cell Jet hero

Good job he gets to wait in the turret of despair, since he's been torturing people through the medium of chocolate.

Wtf is aubergine caviar?

I'd play mummies and daddies with him crem.
Dh is pissing himself at soil. "Soil? We called it chocolate vermicelli"

Man lacks a bit of insight there methinks.

A filthy pudding

Black Olive Grit/ Tarmac and crumbs

Mr Sitwell needs to stop sitting on the fence and tell us how he really feels.

Lot happening there. Hope it's good. Like Ollie.

Snurk@fuvkery

It can't be worse than the previous contestant's whatever he does, surely?

That pannacotta looks like a hockey puck.

Will it be wobbly enough for Campion?

Ha ha! We knew it!

It looks like a plastic pannacotta

So pretty but does it taste of polystyrene cups?

Another horrid pudding. Booo. But not as bad as jet hero.

Send two home!

Unlike you, Mr Creosote, who definitely does pass the wobble test!