X FACTOR- Auditions -WEEK 2! Will we see any more sneaky returnees? 8pm tonight!

[Raahh]

So, after last week, with the super posh Chloe-Jasmine, who has auditioned before (when she was considerably less posh), and Jay James, the ex-Navy guy who had already an album- who will Simon and his mates pretend to be astounded by this week?

Will we see the mean side of Mel B? Will everyone stop fawning over Chezza? Will Louis utter a sentence that makes sense?

And where are the ARENA bits?!

So many questions, so little alcohol.

Off out to buy snacks- see you all later!

Well I usually have to switch off and join DH to watch a movie or some such gubbins after X factor, but he's retired early tonight so I am xtra-ing. It better be good!

Don't they bitch about Strictly?

Is it all admiring swoons over lifts and sequins? I don't approve of that!

I've Sky+ed Strictly. They've put it on at 8pm too!

Noel, it's a vain wish....

How does this guy have stage fright?!

What am I, chopped liver

No squoosh the Strictly thread is serious!

Every time they say 'no diggety' I get excited and think they're going to do 'Bomb Diggy' by

....Another Level

I need to add that line to my list of chat up lines

This guy just screams BUTLINS!

the only bitching on the strictly thread tends to be about whether someone's rumba was really a salsa rhythm or other such controversies

I thought Butlins too. Or worse, Pontins.

That Only the Young from last week must have got to live finals as they pulled out of a concert last week and that's the signal. They are contracted to SyCo once they get to live finals.

The BBC just can't do a satisfying reality show to bitch along to, can they? We tried our best with The Voice, but it's like swimming through porridge.

I can't keep up with the Strictly threads, they know what they're talking about!

I don't watch the Voice, I did try once or twice, but it was awful!

You should have watched the voice with us Fairy. It's the only way to get through it. We're like a support group.

The Voice threads were like a collective hurt. But I count the badge of honour to be the I could Be Jesus threads. Jesus, they were hard work.

We tried Strickly one year. We did not fit in with the serious dance types and the worthy non pervers and the lack of snurking at sequins and falling over. i don't think we're welcome.

Everyone ready and waiting?

I am. DH. Is trying to persuade DS1 to play some awful horror videogame demo with him (he's not succeeding) so I'm here to watch my own form of horror.

Evening everyone!

ARENA!!

I love Strictly, but definitely couldn't stick around the threads. Lovely people though they are, it is a tad serious. No funny evil nicknames.

So- here we go. I am still waiting on Dh to return from his cycling thing in Scotland. Hopefully I will get to watch this first!

and OMG The Voice- yes, we earn out musical tv stripes watching that.

But the Jesus threads were the epitome of endurance- even though it was actually a relatively short series!

You do realise that these are actually the Gateshead auditions.

She sings ALL the time at work... But she wasn't singing in those clips.

She lie!!

She is wearing a hat. That's a no from me, straight away.

And she is singing Adele.

We have an Adele. And several wannabes.

She got some seriously white teeth there