X FACTOR- Auditions -WEEK 2! Will we see any more sneaky returnees? 8pm tonight!

[Raahh]

So, after last week, with the super posh Chloe-Jasmine, who has auditioned before (when she was considerably less posh), and Jay James, the ex-Navy guy who had already an album- who will Simon and his mates pretend to be astounded by this week?

Will we see the mean side of Mel B? Will everyone stop fawning over Chezza? Will Louis utter a sentence that makes sense?

And where are the ARENA bits?!

So many questions, so little alcohol.

Off out to buy snacks- see you all later!

Filo - yes he has

Backup Fat Robbie.

Definitely always need a spare.

I seriously hope that he doesn't make it to the final because we'll have the opportunity to compare and contrast and judge which Robbie is fattest at the moment. Guaranteed.

I saw Robbie in July, he was bloody amazing!

Ah now, stop with your nonsense. Are you a Keith Lemon fan too?

Bugger was he any good?

'better than Bazza' is not an endorsement that would get me signing money over to Ticketmaster, tbh.

I think Bazza has lost his moment.

He can see his Knighthood floating down the Thames. With his tax return forms.

He was Squoosh!

If only the judges said things like 'he sounds like one of those tins that goes moo when you turn it over'.

I had a filthy dream about Simon C last week. I'm actually blushing a bit watching this tonight. Blimey.

Raahh

The only way we'd need a Backup Fat Robbie is if we run out of chubby cheeky telly personalities. So unless a deadly virus decides to hone in on three piece suits, hair gel and family-friendly puns and therefore wipe out all in its path, we still have Ant, Dec and that twonk Mulhearne. And Murs. We don't need any more.

I can imagine gazza is utterly livid that his knighthood was so near. Now he'll never be a national treasure.

Autocorrect seems to prefer gazza to bazza. Why?

Rudolph don't forget James Corden

Yeah he was good, got through. Had a guitar. Do you know him then?

To be fair to Bazza, he can hold a tune but he has the personality of a watermelon.

The kids bought me Robbie tickets, it was one of the best concerts I've been too.

Richard Blackwood!

I think Bazza and David Beckham meet up regularly to discuss exactly what they have to do to get a Knighthood!

His friends mum is my hairdresser

I was supposed to watch

Yeah he was good, got through. Had a guitar. Do you know him then?

Ah good old newcastle.

Chezza probably hasn't been 'home' for years.

Oh Christ they are going to go extra nuts for Chezza

Howay man, why aye and all that, cry cry, snivelly tears, South Shields