Masterchef 4 ways: in which figs are replaced by burnt cavolo nero

[CalamitouslyWrong]

The other thread will be full before the end of tomorrow's programme (and is running very slow anyway), so here's a shiny new one.

The next programme blurb on the bbc website says that failure is no longer an option, so I assume Greg really was serious about the 'or death' thing.

Toms sous chefs are quite....muscular.

I don't like the idea of that stout-based roux. Or the mussel beards, either.

I like to line my gin with lemon half moons

I'd love a gin drip, would save me a lot of getting up and down to the fridge

No I don't like the mussel thing either

Luke's not having fun with those beards

The parsley soup seems by far the easiest to make.

Tom kitchen isn't as posh with his "only one star" lol

Whooooooo get a whiff of the testosterone on the judges panel.

God tom kitchin pitches up for this every year, doesn't he?

I don't like anything cooked with beer.

And this is where everyone pretends that this is in any way a reflection on Tom if Luke buggers up.

Gregg & John are rather de trop this evening, I feel

Angela has a cop out meal!

Apple oranges and cucumber on a plate? Yeah I can make that, no probs.

Tortellini drowned in green goo with leaves and flowers. Wonderful.

Agree : Angela's looks like lunch at Cranks from the late 70s

I wish Angela would stop fawning

Am a wee bit freaked out by the waiters' black gloves.

It's like a wheatgrass smoothie

Yes, are they in mourning?

She didn't make the tortellini, did she?

Aww Angela seems so proud of herself

I'm wondering why the waiter has black gloves.

Remember when you were little and made "soup" from grass and weeds? -it looks a bit like that--