THE VOICE- It's audition number 5! Bring on the returnees...

[Raahh]

This week, apparently, sees the return of a bloke who failed last year, and a woman who was part of a duo- Nu-Tarna. Do we remember Nu-Tarna? Possibly only for having a rubbish name.

And here's a song list- to warn you all in advance.

Steven Alexander
Your Game by Will Young

Fiona Kelly
Rule The World by Take That

Chris Royal
Wake Me Up by Avicii

Nick Dixon
Home Again by Elton John

Elesha Paul Moses
Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift

Lucy Winter
Somebody To Love by Jefferson Airplane

Max Murphy
Electric Feel by MGMT

Joe Keegan
Keep Your Head Up by Ben Howard

James Byron
Cry Baby by Janis Joplin

Reece Bahia
What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction

Jolan
Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth feat. Emeli Sande

Yinka Williams
Paris (Ooh La La) by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

Jade Mayjean Peters
Sweet About Me by Gabriella Cilmi

Femi Santiago
My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder

I doubt very much we will actually see much of all these acts. We will probably see more of the friends/family/pets.

And some lad does Riverdance with Bill.je.suis.

Did I hear rightthat The Voice is getting over 10 million viewers for the first? That Splash must be really crap.

Coco - Splash is really crap- but strangely addictive.

I really wanted to like Kylie too but she comes across as though she's been helicoptered into the show and is permanently jet-lagged and over-compensating for it.

So, returnee number 1?

I cant believe how wooden she is, nothing seems to come naturally- shes supposed to be an actress

Your man looks like bad fan-art of Will Young

Coco - hope you're feeling better.

Stop with the warbly ad-lib stuff.

I want to punch him on the nose.

S'Toma looks like he's trying to remember what he's having for tea

Does Tom know where he actually is?

Thanks, but now have double pleurisy
Was you illing too? My memory is shocking!

Are they still picking the teams? I hope kylie is stung to death by ball wasps tonight or catches lumberjack clap from ricky. Also, Hiya!

ooh- get S'Tom!

Kylie is fucking me off already.

Evening all. He's flat, no?

Do we really need Improbable Forehead Will Young though? When we actually have Will Young?

That haircut with them ears is a no no.

It took me to the chorus to realise what the song was

Toms thinking 'who?'

S'Toma like a rabbit in the headlights there. Memory not his strong point.

Im not sure men need that much hair height.

Coco No, I wasn't illing, I was selflessly drinking Jameson for you. Obv I need to drink twice as much.

Maybe hes 2ft tall really. Like Bruno Mars.

It's just silly, the hair. Not committed to a full Jedward even.