X-FACTOR- week 5 RESULTS- IT'S A DOUBLE ELIMINATION!!! <dramatic music>

[Raahh]

And we all know who we want that double elimination to be!

Who has Ortise got on his T-shirt?

C'mon get rid of Skanky !

Tut, why has that one got a big coat on, when he goes outside, he will so not feel the benefit of it!

Do you think in previous years everyone was autotuned, but this year they haven't bothered so everyone sounds poo?

Mme....Don't you just rock

COME ON FLORENCE. I have a girl crush on Florence.

I have realised I am a highly sexual being.

I think Kitty has killed in an attempt to be where JLS are. Just a feeling I get.

Janet just looks bored.

Oh, Johnny. I love him.

how the hell did I get italics then?

I think the budget went to X Factor USA.

Nah, never liked Alex- she was a total diva during her time on the show, and just sounds dull and samey.

Jonny is increasingly reminding me of Rod Hull in the Pink Windmill Show.

I think Dermot was longing to tell Kitty to shutthefuckup

Boobs!

Mme, I went to see Boyzone 13 times

This backstage interview thingie is all a bit excrutiating...

DH just saw Mischa B's outfit and went, "Fucking hell! Not leaving much to the imagination, is she?!"

Oh gos YES rockin - all he needs to do is start chirrupping 'there's somebody at the DOOR'

You can paint Kitty green and she cna be Grotbags.

I know, Honeydragon. When it first came on, everyone was and then we all just cracked up.

Poor Janet, she looks like she wants to go home.

Mischas outfit (in the words of Nev the Bear)

Fwightend Arrrrgh!

Loved the pink windmill show. But my Grandmother was the spit of Grotbags and it soured family gatherings somewhat.

Frankie stole hin Nan's jumper.