my 16 yr old ds is having sex with his 15 yr old gfriend.

[maltesers]

do you mums think it is wrong that my ds of 16, 17 in april is having sex with his 15 yr old girlfriend? Know she is underage, but guess it doesnt matter what i say if theyre going to do it they will. she is on the pill and he is using comdoms. feel he could have waited another year especially as she is only 15, but her mum is all ok it seems bout it. she picks her dd up from our house at least three times a week. cant always stay in to make sure their feet are on the floor.

I'm also against sex of any age under my roof not only underage sex.

Your poor DH!

Seriously, I think your position is perfectly valid. But I do think it makes it more likely that your children will end up doing it in cars and back alleys and less likely to be relaxed and take precautions.

Tamula

Wasn't trying to diss your opinion, you have every right to it. Its just that until you have kids, your views can be very black and white, and when you have them, things can change. I had a very strict upbringing, my parents disagreed with sex before marriage, and I wouldn't have been allowed to even take a boy upstairs, let alone have sex with him.
However, although I don't like the thought of it happening in my house, I would rather it was here than in the back of a car, woods or some deserted place, where it could be dangerous. And I would be proud if my children were being sensible and taking precautions.
Its difficult but I think you have to weigh ups the pro's and cons and then come to your decision.

so basically what we are saying here is that there is no other way but to agree with and be happy and proud that they decide to share their'good and responsible' sexual behaviour with me and under my roof? I just dont agree.

As already stated I intend to have a very open and honest relationship with my children, i wont be embarrassed to discuss sex and I wont leave it until the horny teenage years to approach the subject either, but to be honest, I dont expect children to always do as their told and I am prepared for that, if they decide to sneak off and have sex then so be it, what I wont be doing is aiding them in their sexual adventures, I find it disrespectful.

The thought never crossed my mind once as a horny teenager to have sex in the same house as my parents!! Its something that wouldnt in a million years have entered my head the same applied to my older brother.

I dont think i'm as black white or blinkered as you suggest, I simply strongly stand by what I say.

I've grown up in inner city London and have seen and experienced plenty, I knew friends that were allowed to shag in their parents home, I didnt think it was cool, I was grossed out, ewwwww, I perished the thought, I'm not saying my child will be me, but regardless, its not going to happen. Why does forbidding your children something in this day and age have to be so wrong? its like many parents are afraid to parent!!

Argghhh - I want DD to stay a toddler forever!!!

I would like her to be open and honest with me about it, to wait for someone special (but if her SS turns up when she is 15 instead of 17/18 its not my place to tell her her heart). I want her to know enough, and use protection... BUT not in my house, until they are over 17, and in a stable relationship (not bringing home one night stands).

I don't think you can stop them, or that you should - just arm them with information and let them live their lives. I want my child to grow up able to make these decisions by herself.

I would like to say that when the times comes for my girlies to be having sex, that they decide to wait, and just NOT!

Problem is, the society we live in seems to push teens into having sex sooner than any of us parents would like.

That doesn't mean we have to condone it, or be happy about it, but as and when the time comes, I would feel proud of my mothering skills if my teen felt able to come to me to discuss it.

Having said all that tho...I have yet to be in that situation, so my views may yet alter.

One thing I would like to try and keep in mind.....if a teen wants to have sex, they will. Regardless of whether their parents approve or not...and if they rebelious, ESPECIALLY if their parents don't approve. At least if you are open with them, they will hopefully discuss it with you first, and so have time to sort out adequate contraception. And also, the likely hood of them going somewhere seedy is much less too.

In my ideal world tho....none of my daughters will even look at a boy before they leave home, and so I escape the need of going grey early

As for my sons......guess I lock them up somewhere!!!!!!!

Actually it's not illegal for a 14-17 yr old to have sex with another 14 to 17 yr old as long as it's consented by both partners.you can not have sex under any circumstances with a child 13 or under. But if you are 14 to 17 yr old it is also legal to have sex with a 18+ partner as long as there is no more than a three years age difference and both partners consent. This does not apply if one partner is in a position of higher leadership in the chain of command. Such as teacher and student. I personally don't blame the child for wanting to have sex but I don't think that is is very smart, as it only takes one faulty condom to make a baby. I hope that you found this response helpful. :)

Op, at least they feel they can be open about it with you though I don’t feel comfortable about it just still a little too young.
Just a word of warning though a friend of mine has baby granddaughter from her 16 yo son last year. By the time my friend was told about the pregnancy his girlfriend was already 7 months pregnant. Now both families are sharing the childcare. So that the kids can continue their education.
Hope your kids has taken all the sensible steps.

ZOOMBIE the thread is 15 years old the teenagers are now 30 and 31!

Isn't he committing statutory rape?

Not unless he is in America. That crime does not exist in either Scotland or England.

If anyone actually complains to the police I suspect they wont investigate and the prosecutor would decline on no public interest grounds.

What ever he was doing when he was 16 doesn’t really matter now, he’s 31!