my 16 yr old ds is having sex with his 15 yr old gfriend.

[maltesers]

do you mums think it is wrong that my ds of 16, 17 in april is having sex with his 15 yr old girlfriend? Know she is underage, but guess it doesnt matter what i say if theyre going to do it they will. she is on the pill and he is using comdoms. feel he could have waited another year especially as she is only 15, but her mum is all ok it seems bout it. she picks her dd up from our house at least three times a week. cant always stay in to make sure their feet are on the floor.

WWW - or they may reconsider.

I don't think for one minute that I, or anyone else who lost their virginity before 16, have any less 'self respect' than those who had sex for the first time at 16 or over.

PinkWebby - "At that point I was old enough to decide", who are you to say that this girl isn't old enough to make the decision for herself?! People mature at very different rates. The law is a very generalised thing and I honestly don't see what earth-shattering knowledge or maturity will descend on this peron on her 16th birthday !

Nah, they wouldn't open, I think it highly unlikely! Parental disapproval might stop some things but I doubt it would stop this. And I don't see why it should in this case.

Can you remember being 15 or 16? The hormones! Raging, absolutely raging.

thankyou charlie01 that was so nice to hear just someone say that i have done a good job. dont get much of that in my life. yes, my ds is at least honest with me. i want to keep the channels of chat open and am glad he can tell me the truth. i think it is too soon, and maybe her parents are soft with the girlfriend but am not in control of her behaviour. apparently she was on the pill for the last boyfriend ! my 14 year old dd looked at his bedroom one day and just said, 'Dont be stupid, dont be silly, put a condom on your willy' ! i had to leave her bedroom before i began laughing.

PW - excuse me but I had sex with a B/F at 16 (we both were) whom I adored literally, we used protection, but it didn't work. that's not to say my parent's didn't teach me any morals or respect for myself and i'm annoyed you should comment like that. It was my choice, and I ended up PG. my fault, I took respoinsibility for my actions. My parent's didn't like what happened but they stod by me. you should think b4 u judge.

Um, open, were you ever 15?

I agree, if a warm safe place isn't available, then they'll have it somewhere cold and unsafe.

malt u've def done a good job hon. your son obviously respect u as a parent and a friend.

open - Teenagers who want to have sex will NOT 'reconsider' just because they haven't got a cosy bed to curl up in !

Yep! But I left it until 20.

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But isn't the same argument true for drugs?

Oh, it's so sad he/she takes heroin, but I've got to let them do it at my place or they'll be doing it at the park, poor things.

ah thankyou beetroot, really need those words. feel guilty i guess as i divorced their father when my sd was six. but he is a really nice young man now and cannot stop him discovering the birds and the bees.

Was your last comment aimed at me, Socci?

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I really don't think that a major CHANGE happens in a young person's brain when they wake up on their 16th birthday. I agree, I think it is great that they are being responsible and that their parents know. You are going a good job.

I'd feel worried about it tbh, not for any moral reason, but because Open is right, your DS is laying himself open to legal action. Crazy though it is, he could actually be put on the paedophile register for having sex with an underage girl.

When it comes to it, I'm going to impress on my DS that he mustn't have sex with anyone under 16 not for her protection, but for his (always assuming he wants to sleep with girls and the law is still the same!)

But I agree with everyone else, it's great that you can talk about these things with your DS. And it does sound like her family is quite sane as well.

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Okay maybe I was a bit different, I dont approve of it at fifteen you are classed as a child there is no getting away from that. I went to an all girls school yes we did talk about it and there was and always is peer pressure to be the first in your class, but we were also told that you had to respect yourself. Life and relationships are not about jumping into bed you do things when you are ready not when your friends / boyfriend thinks you should do it.

Who knows what this girl was thinking when she slept with him we will never find out.

How can you liken heroin addiction/use to sex ?! That is a completely bizarre connection to make.

Heroin - ALWAYS dangerous. ALWAYS illegal. There are no ways to make taking heroin 99.9% safe.

Frankly, that you can attempt to link the 2 so seamlessly >guffaw

open, but sex isn't bad for you and is normal and healthy and wonderful, a bit different to drugs so no, you can't apply the same argument imo.

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Although it's true that this is illegal, from what I know, charges aren't generally brought unless it's in the public interest - and given that your DS is less than two years older than his girlfriend, she consents, and her parents are ok about it, charges are not at all likely.

no it isnt the same argument as drugs . omg if they were takind drugs i would be going mad and have him wherever to get off drugs. i would have spoken to her mum in no uncertain terms pronto. perhaps i am a modern mum. did tell him no hanky panky in our house but as if that makes any difference.