Page 2 | How do you get a grumpy teen up for school in the morning

PickFlowersNotFights · 17/09/2026 12:18

I used to be out with the dog walking before school and left them to it as teens. If they were late then they faced the consequences. They were never late (and that’s with an ADHD child who often couldn’t sleep until late).

I had no choice as a single parent with a dog and a FT job (which also meant I had to leave before them on office days)

Needtofindahobbykeepbusy · 17/09/2026 12:34

smallgreenandsplitthreeways · 17/09/2026 11:32

Alarm clock out side his bedroom door with similar decibel rating to a pneumatic drill…that’ll get the beggar up!! We had to put a CD player (one with a sleep function) outside DD’s door. Turned to full volume playing heavy metal….it was absolutely hell, but within two weeks she was waking up before the alarm went off. Because she had to get out of bed cross her floor she was well and truly awake and stopped any sly zooming out, switch off and zooming back to bed. You have to find a noise that your son absolutely hates or it won’t work….! Good luck!

This is probably the best advice for OPS son, Parents have to become very creative to find solutions to problems

Needtofindahobbykeepbusy · 17/09/2026 12:37

We also turn off wifi at certain time and have screens time. I will scale back after GCSES as they have to grow up and take responsibility at some point

LizzieSiddal · 17/09/2026 12:42

I’d be having a calm conversation in the evening, tell him you understand it’s really difficult but something needs to change as the mornings are not working for you or him. Ask him what might help him? Agree on a plan for what’s going to happen from Monday morning.

I would be saying, you’ll try the new approach for a week, see how it goes then have another chat if it’s not working. (At that point I’d be letting him miss the bus).

clapalongnow · 17/09/2026 12:53

BettyStogs · 17/09/2026 11:56

Thank you for the helpful suggestions. To clarify, I get up at 6.30, shower then go and wake him. Light goes on, he grunts, I insist on him speaking a full sentence (normally something like 'leave me alone' ) then I'm up and down stairs sorting myself out and going in again, plus sorting 12 year old who thankfully is currently easier in the mornings. If he misses the bus it's a public bus an hour later which takes an hour, then a 20 minute walk. I am tempted to leave him to it one day so he has to make this journey and be late. He goes to bed at 9/9.15sh, no devices in his room but yes worth asking what time he actually goes to sleep. I think i need some kind of alarm that physically tips him out of bed!

You mean you havent given him the chance to learn from being late? Absolutely leave him to it. There is a lot of ‘teen brain’ excuses on here, literally thousands of teens get up every day successfully. I left mine to it, they had been using alarms since about age 10 to get into the swing of it, with support of course, but by the time they were into high school they were left to get on with it and face any consequences of being late. They soon learn.

AussieMum135 · 17/09/2026 13:03

Do you have a pet ? The only way I get all three out of bed is the dog comes in and gives them a quick cuddle...they want to wake up as they wont ignore him like they do me!

Original poster

BettyStogs · 17/09/2026 14:25

Lovemuesli · 17/09/2026 12:07

I know this doesn't help the OP, but the problem isn't the teen, but biology and society.

The teen brain is wired to stay awake until late and to rise late.

Given these truths, schools start far too early. It's the equivalent of asking as adult to get up at 5 in the morning.

I'm sure others will be able to help with practical tips on making the teen get up in time for school.

You are absolutely correct, he even did his Y9 English speaking thing on why the school day should start later. Lots of personal experience to draw on!

OP posts:

Original poster

BettyStogs · 17/09/2026 14:30

clapalongnow · 17/09/2026 12:53

You mean you havent given him the chance to learn from being late? Absolutely leave him to it. There is a lot of ‘teen brain’ excuses on here, literally thousands of teens get up every day successfully. I left mine to it, they had been using alarms since about age 10 to get into the swing of it, with support of course, but by the time they were into high school they were left to get on with it and face any consequences of being late. They soon learn.

Edited

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My youngest missed the bus once in Y7, not from being late out of bed but from getting distracted and reading instead of getting ready.(he was so quiet we thought he had left) We drove him in thay time as he'd never got the bus on his own before but he's never done it again, as he understood he wouldn't get a second chance.

OP posts:

concertinacornflake · 17/09/2026 14:44

But he does get up, it's just you want him to get up faster? So when you wake him he gets up?

Or are you saying currently he is not attending school?

Ultimately for a teen who doesn't wake, you can choose a) natural consequences b) parental consequences c) getting him up.

I'm suggesting you get up 15 mins earlier so that getting him up isn't stressful for you. I understood he was sleeping through the alarm rather than being awake and refusing to get up.

For this physiological issue: He struggles so much to wake up and get up, sleeps through alarms, including a vibrating wrist band, falls back to sleep etc. I am having to go in to him multiple times, which I don't have time for when also trying to get myself ready to leave for work. I would personally support at first.

Streedcarnamedtesire · 17/09/2026 14:45

If this is put in reverse, some people just get up early irrespective of what time they went to bed. People are more understanding if it’s late at night and someone says they’re struggling to stay awake or keeps dozing off, even if they’ve got up very late that day. For a lot of people, especially teens where we are going against their biology, it’s the equivalent of trying to keep a person awake or saying “don’t fall asleep” at 3a.m. They can try, but will struggle.

concertinacornflake · 17/09/2026 14:48

Yes if someone is genuinely struggling to wake up, chastising them is pointless.

They will grow out of the phase.

So getting through it like any other phase is the least painful route.

clapalongnow · 17/09/2026 15:05

BettyStogs · 17/09/2026 14:30

My youngest missed the bus once in Y7, not from being late out of bed but from getting distracted and reading instead of getting ready.(he was so quiet we thought he had left) We drove him in thay time as he'd never got the bus on his own before but he's never done it again, as he understood he wouldn't get a second chance.

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That’s got nothing to do with your 15 year old needing severely managed every morning. Just tell him from now on it’s up to him, give him the chance to learn.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/09/2026 15:23

I am consistently out of the house by 6am to get to work so when both my teens were at school they learnt with the fuck about and find out method. Only took a couple of detentions each and they were soon up and out on time!

gokusgirl · 17/09/2026 16:48

I have two boys 14 and 16 I go in and turn the lights on before I shower and then shower and sometimes I have to go back in and re-wake one of them up but normally they get up because they know there’s no breakfast if they haven’t done it before I’m ready to go. It’s probably worth noting though that I am apocalyptic with anger if I’m late I’m menopausal and I have no time for their nonsense.

PurpleThistle7 · 17/09/2026 16:58

I think you might have to buy him a crazy loud alarm and then leave him to it. If he’s late he’ll get in trouble at school right? Would that matter to him? I can’t see how you can carry on faffing around him like this when he’s 15.

My daughter has double alarms - on her phone and a physical alarm clock she can’t reach from bed so she has to get up.

BoredZelda · 17/09/2026 16:59

smallgreenandsplitthreeways · 17/09/2026 11:32

Alarm clock out side his bedroom door with similar decibel rating to a pneumatic drill…that’ll get the beggar up!! We had to put a CD player (one with a sleep function) outside DD’s door. Turned to full volume playing heavy metal….it was absolutely hell, but within two weeks she was waking up before the alarm went off. Because she had to get out of bed cross her floor she was well and truly awake and stopped any sly zooming out, switch off and zooming back to bed. You have to find a noise that your son absolutely hates or it won’t work….! Good luck!

None of that ever worked for me or still wouldn’t now. I can sleep through pretty much any loud noise. My daughter can come in and whisper “mummy” and I’m wide awake, but alarms mean very little to me. I tend just to incorporate the noise into whatever dream I’m having. It’s been a problem all my life. If I absolutely cannot sleep in, my husband has to wake me.

ThisWiseRobin · 17/09/2026 17:23

Tell you what works better than melatonin gummies....a glass of cold water on his head.

Original poster

BettyStogs · 17/09/2026 17:40

clapalongnow · 17/09/2026 15:05

That’s got nothing to do with your 15 year old needing severely managed every morning. Just tell him from now on it’s up to him, give him the chance to learn.

Show quote history

No it doesn't, I was mentioning it in terms of missing the bus once will help sort him out

OP posts:

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 17/09/2026 17:49

ThisWiseRobin · 17/09/2026 17:23

Tell you what works better than melatonin gummies....a glass of cold water on his head.

How does that help a teenager move their circadian rhythm so they can sleep earlier exactly?

Cotopaxi · 17/09/2026 17:52

Go in there with a tin tray and something metal to bash it with. 😂

Totallyacceptableinthe80s · 17/09/2026 18:07

I would leave him to it to suffer the consequences I'm afraid.
I was always away to work an hour before mine had to leave though so no choice but to sort theirselves out.
He's more than old enough to take responsibility for getting himself to school on time.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 17/09/2026 18:23

So my routine with 2 teens when we all had to be out by 6:45
My alarm was 5:25
Downstairs make coffee and take to DH in bed- in shower by 5:45, dressed by 6 knock on teen's doors as I went past. DH in shower while I was down stairs sorting lunch/ bags he came down @ 6:15 giving them another knock. If no sign of life by 6:30 went up again now with everything redy to go and stand outside room until they were out of their rooms. 9/10 they were downstairs by 6:30.

Cheerychopsmum · 17/09/2026 18:29

Get as much ready as you can the night before. Plan breakfast and set a deadline for leaving the house. We’ve said that if our child misses the bus as he is dawdling then he misses out on the next planned event he has booked. He’s not missed it so far.

MummyWillow1 · 17/09/2026 22:35

Don’t keep going in. If he doesn’t get up and misses the bus that is his problem. Also, make sure he’s actually going to sleep at a reasonable time - to get up before 7am he needs to be asleep by 10pm. Get him into the habit of winding down from 9pm.

Tel12 · 17/09/2026 22:36

Wet flannel